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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, after finally giving up on the search for my lost dog, I realized that my neighbors had found her and are convinced that she was a stray. They won't give her up and are now mad at me for trying to take my own dog back. FML

#1078631
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67937) - you deserved it (3092)

On 04/18/2009 at 2:45am - animals - by englishtrio (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking my boyfriend to the mall. In the parking lot I pointed out an old man in a vibrant pink sweater who was leaving by saying "He is so gay." My boyfriend got out of the car and walked towards the man calling "Hey Papaw!" It was his grandfather. FML

#1067181
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10656) - you deserved it (71052)

On 04/17/2009 at 8:46pm - misc - by grampsisgay (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw a cop come up behind me. Nervous about my expired license, I kept checking in my rear view mirror. In turn since I wasn't paying attention, I ran a stop sign. Needless to say the cop pulled me over and gave me 2 tickets. FML

#1010703
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9407) - you deserved it (61033)

On 04/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by imnotcool (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took one of those IQ tests on the internet. I cheated and still got a 70. FML

#951533
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15488) - you deserved it (72907)

On 04/13/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by snathans (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend asked me when my face was going to go back to normal after being swollen from having my wisdom teeth taken out last week. My face is back to normal. FML

#942012
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51952) - you deserved it (3256)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by fatface (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my ten year old son realized something. Beer is alcohol. People who drink a lot of alcohol are alcoholics. Therefore I am an alcoholic for drinking beer with dinner. He told everyone at his conservative private school and they tried to have an intervention. They pray for me every day. FML

#921168
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61639) - you deserved it (11313)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:44am - kids - by cxcrktkt (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally bought the toy my two year old son always wanted. He would always tap on the TV when the commercial for it would appear. I give him the present, and he starts playing with the bag. FML

#907158
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39839) - you deserved it (8911)

On 04/10/2009 at 8:37pm - kids - by Bob (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML

#903514
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16154) - you deserved it (44760)

On 04/10/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of the sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House was on. My boyfriend stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML

#887533
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62972) - you deserved it (14062)

On 04/09/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

#797984
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16138) - you deserved it (170410)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by ashleyevans (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went and got a spray on tan. I forgot to push the hair cap up. A few hours later, I was completely tan, except for the top half of my forehead was pasty white. It will last for five days. FML

Today, I was in an audition for a production at this theater in town. The directors at the table loved my audition. One of them said "I'd love to talk to you about coming to TCU." I said "Oh, yeah! I know Harry Parker at TCU who runs the theater department." I said this to Harry Parker. FML

#774654
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10079) - you deserved it (83486)

On 04/02/2009 at 10:12pm - work - by Zak (man) - United States (Texas)



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