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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit and she screamed "Don't touch me there!". Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

#3782569
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45280) - you deserved it (6533)

On 07/15/2009 at 7:22pm - kids - by shway (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to shower, his mother slams a pair of underwear on the table and tells me that if she ever finds something like that in her son's room again, she is forbidding him from seeing me. The underwear isn't mine. FML

#3756487
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53135) - you deserved it (2155)

On 07/14/2009 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a pet store to adopt a dog. I got a medium sized lab, a dog crate, and a few toys, then put his crate in the back of my truck and the dog in his crate. On the way home I realized I forgot dog bowls and some dog food. I went back, and when I got back out to my truck, my dog was gone. My stereo too. FML

#3739737
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48691) - you deserved it (7715)

On 07/14/2009 at 4:55am - animals - by doggone (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to clean my walls with those Mr Clean Magic Sponges because we were having visitors. I got bored and started drawing penises with it because they would leave wet marks. There is nothing magic about how slow they dry when your visitors come an hour early. They saw all ten of them. FML

#3723567
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8333) - you deserved it (59684)

On 07/13/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by iJehx (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while deleting my ex-fiancée's account off my computer, I saved her pics. I found one of her with her now boyfriend in our bedroom. FML

#3712124
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54720) - you deserved it (3932)

On 07/13/2009 at 7:16am - intimacy - by RDMdragoon (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of two years proposed to me. Less than two minutes later, he decided he wasn't ready for the commitment. After I had already said yes. FML

#3673670
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50201) - you deserved it (2348)

On 07/11/2009 at 7:11pm - love - by ollie_ollivia (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

#3669335
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48119) - you deserved it (7976)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by policeopenup (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my younger brother, who is 15, had to show me the quickest way to take off a woman's bra. I'm 12 years older than he is. FML

#3642336
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45535) - you deserved it (12417)

On 07/10/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by nerd_man01 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going to do some laundry, with the washer and dryer I bought off of Craigslist for 150 dollars. The washer leaks and the dryer doesn't dry. So I called the guy and left an angry message about how the washer flooded my kitchen. In fact I just forgot to hook up the drain hose. FML

#3639163
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5285) - you deserved it (55883)

On 07/10/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I over drafted my account, and I ended up paying an extra 35 bucks for a 1.99 item. It was an application on the iPhone that is supposed to help me keep track of my money. FML

#3578702
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16877) - you deserved it (47639)

On 07/08/2009 at 10:37am - money - by jedd90 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working at the mall as the girl that stands around giving out samples of the foods. This guy came up to me and we were flirting for at least 30 mins. With the tray in one hand, I gave him my cell to put his number in it. He ran away with my phone. FML

#3577359
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22278) - you deserved it (42978)

On 07/08/2009 at 8:08am - work - by joybirdnot_13 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut for cheating on him since we never had sex. I attempted to explain the birth control was for a condition I have that causes my period to be non-existent. He didn't believe me. FML

#3363161
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65683) - you deserved it (6641)

On 06/30/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML

#3330800
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44323) - you deserved it (15335)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Asterisk1009 (man) - United States (Texas)



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