FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, while taking pictures by the pool, my friend wanted to use my camera. I told her to put the wrist strap on so it wouldn't fall into the pool. She dropped the camera while trying to put the strap on. FML

by Me. / 07/23/2010 at 1:58am / United States (Texas) / Geek

Today, I discovered that my cleaning lady steals valuables from me, and covered it up by saying that "the vacuum must've eaten it." FML

by lauren / 07/08/2010 at 12:51am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he loved me. He looked thoughtful, gathered me in his arms and said, "If I say yes, will you be less pissed?" and then tried to stick his hand down my pants. FML

by BadLuckinLove / 07/07/2010 at 6:56am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I have to pack for tomorrow's family vacation. For one week I get to be stuck in a one bedroom cabin with my alcoholic father, bipolar mother, and two much younger siblings who have a passion for screaming. FML

by toriforever / 07/05/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I saw a woman still texting on her phone as she started to drive away when the light turned green. I made sure to stare her down and give her a dirty look because she wasn't paying attention to driving. She laughed as I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

by Crash / 06/30/2010 at 7:06pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML

by Tp / 06/29/2010 at 8:39pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, was the third day of my camping trip with my "friends". I woke up in my boxers with my hand glued to my forehead. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2010 at 5:36am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to boxing and this hot chick asked me if I was wearing a sports cup. I replied yes, when I wasn't. I thought she was going to check with her hand and feel. She checked with her knee. FML

by Gbeat411 / 06/25/2010 at 1:09am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML

by anonymous / 06/24/2010 at 1:09am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, a 75 year old lady drove into me. Her excuse was, "I wasn't looking." Awesome. FML

by hurricane0331 / 06/23/2010 at 9:51pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, it was the girl of my dreams' birthday. She already knows I am totally in love with her. So for her birthday I decided to buy her a $60 dollar bottle of rum for her and her friends to have fun with. She picked it up from my house with her new boyfriend waiting in the car. FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2010 at 7:06pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my computer was hit by something bigger than a virus: a car. FML

by katiebabby / 06/17/2010 at 12:19pm / United States (Texas) / Geek

Today, while in line at the waterpark, I looked down to find my 3 year old daughter chewing on a used band-aid. FML

by sarahfromthesouth / 06/08/2010 at 12:07pm / United States (Texas) / Kids