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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut for cheating on him since we never had sex. I attempted to explain the birth control was for a condition I have that causes my period to be non-existent. He didn't believe me. FML

#3363161
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64953) - you deserved it (6575)

On 06/30/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML

#3330800
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44237) - you deserved it (15320)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Asterisk1009 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML

#3308517
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23731) - you deserved it (44788)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally cracked the password on my husband's email account. I don't know which is worse: finding out your husband is cheating on you with several people, or finding his password includes his ex-girlfriend's name. FML

#3305940
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56408) - you deserved it (21977)

On 06/28/2009 at 1:42pm - love - by resipsahipsta (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I left my brand new iPod Touch outside. There had been a drought for the past 3 weeks. Not anymore. FML

#3292692
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10779) - you deserved it (61785)

On 06/28/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming 'sexy'. The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML

#3266554
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10379) - you deserved it (72523)

On 06/27/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by mtorres8789 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I stayed after hours studying in the medical library. I was the only one left, and as I was going out the glass doors leaving, I saw a person's reflection behind me. I screamed, jumped, fell into the doors smashing my head. I'd seen the reflection of a medical demonstration dummy. FML

#3228073
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29725) - you deserved it (10630)

On 06/26/2009 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML

#3203701
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44134) - you deserved it (2665)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:22pm - work - by KP (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML

#3203047
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37580) - you deserved it (6527)

On 06/25/2009 at 11:37am - misc - by mickstinator - United States (Texas)

Today, I was texting the girl I am in love with. I was dropping hints about liking someone who I didn't know if they liked me back. Flirting a little. And just when I thought she'd say she liked me too, she said "Don't worry, if you were straight, I would definitely date you!". FML

#3186990
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44997) - you deserved it (4822)

On 06/24/2009 at 9:15pm - love - by fml7458364838 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to write "Happy Bday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's car windows to surprise her when she woke up. I was the one who got the surprise when I saw her, in her backseat, having sex. FML

#3165290
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72929) - you deserved it (3163)

On 06/24/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was thinking about how people say if you're gradually introduced to a smell or you're forced to deal with enough, you'll stop noticing it. And how untrue that is. Especially when your roommates sneak a dead rabbit under your bed. FML

#3082688
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37772) - you deserved it (2418)

On 06/21/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML

#3080092
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14382) - you deserved it (41240)

On 06/21/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by Crispy (man) - United States (Texas)



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