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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I was shopping with my baby daughter when an older woman came up to me. She glared and said, "You know, if you kids learned how to keep your legs closed, you wouldn't be a mother at 16." I'm 25. FML

#6288438
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37727) - you deserved it (3562)

On 11/13/2009 at 3:26pm - kids - by notateen (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a minor outpatient procedure that required sedation. I am not supposed to drive or even be alone for 24 hours. My husband wouldn't take the day off to go with me, and instead of coming home from work, he is at the bar with his coworkers. FML

#6278977
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29587) - you deserved it (2993)

On 11/12/2009 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a bee flew in my car so I swerved off the road and hit a mailbox. It was a metal keg filled with cement buried in the ground. Taking my father's advice I fled the scene. Later my mailman knocked on my door holding part of my bumper. He said "Excuse me, I think you hit my mailbox this morning." FML

#6255254
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6148) - you deserved it (39944)

On 11/11/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by Sybil90 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up at 6:00 am to the sound of somebody laying on their horn outside my apartment. I ran outside to yell at them only to find out it was my car. The horn was shortcircuting. All my neighbors stood on their porch laughing as I repeatedly punched my steering wheel to make it stop. FML

#6252858
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25568) - you deserved it (3784)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by carsuck (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML

#6211004
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23837) - you deserved it (7260)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML

#6165427
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38880) - you deserved it (6422)

On 11/05/2009 at 9:22am - health - by HairyBoobs (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML

#6164155
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29059) - you deserved it (5898)

On 11/05/2009 at 5:12am - love - by scumbag (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I am partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML

#6136055
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33343) - you deserved it (1768)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 7 year old brother decided that it would be fun to cut off my hair. I woke from a long nap after working the late shift, to about 15 inches of my long blonde hair all over my bed and floor. I now have bloody bald spots and really choppy hair about 3 inches long. He got away with it. FML

#6120189
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47465) - you deserved it (3044)

On 11/02/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by baldygirl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I am not allowed to have any of my candy because of my sister's weight problem. FML

Today, I received a 4 page text message from my mom explaining what she was going to do to me tonight in full detail. I am one name below her boyfriend on her contact list. FML

#6094317
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28765) - you deserved it (2242)

On 11/01/2009 at 12:35am - intimacy - by Nomoretexting (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that I was conceived during a conjugal visit. FML

#6089701
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31927) - you deserved it (2678)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my good buddy of about two years set me up on a blind date. I got to the meeting point and realized that my date was a guy. My "buddy" honestly thought I was gay. FML

#6086558
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32359) - you deserved it (3927)

On 10/31/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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