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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML

#6164155
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28950) - you deserved it (5888)

On 11/05/2009 at 5:12am - love - by scumbag (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I am partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML

#6136055
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33230) - you deserved it (1766)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 7 year old brother decided that it would be fun to cut off my hair. I woke from a long nap after working the late shift, to about 15 inches of my long blonde hair all over my bed and floor. I now have bloody bald spots and really choppy hair about 3 inches long. He got away with it. FML

#6120189
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47326) - you deserved it (3033)

On 11/02/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by baldygirl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I am not allowed to have any of my candy because of my sister's weight problem. FML

Today, I received a 4 page text message from my mom explaining what she was going to do to me tonight in full detail. I am one name below her boyfriend on her contact list. FML

#6094317
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28389) - you deserved it (2213)

On 11/01/2009 at 12:35am - intimacy - by Nomoretexting (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that I was conceived during a conjugal visit. FML

#6089701
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31821) - you deserved it (2675)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my good buddy of about two years set me up on a blind date. I got to the meeting point and realized that my date was a guy. My "buddy" honestly thought I was gay. FML

#6086558
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32234) - you deserved it (3920)

On 10/31/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that when they put "Take with food" on the side of antibiotics, what they really mean is "Take with food because this stuff is gonna liquefy everything in your G.I. tract, and make you have to run out of the middle of calculus for the worst diarrhea ever." FML

#6069034
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25020) - you deserved it (9758)

On 10/30/2009 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting on a bus, the driver shut the door on me while I was half way inside. Instead of apologizing to me, he criticized me for getting in the way. FML

#6049561
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28341) - you deserved it (2972)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by insignificant (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria with my friends when I suddenly passed out due to my hypoglycemia. When I woke up, I discovered that I was still in the same spot and my friends had abandoned me to go to class. Also, my stuff was stolen. FML

#6030551
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40675) - you deserved it (2389)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:15pm - misc - by hey-ooo (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend was reaching over to give me a hug for no reason. I said "Aww, You're sweet! I love you too!" He looked confused and said, "That's great, but I was reaching for the remote." FML

#6026948
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26962) - you deserved it (5906)

On 10/27/2009 at 5:57pm - love - by Queen_of_Night (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML

#6020762
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30586) - you deserved it (4867)

On 10/27/2009 at 6:20am - love - by kahemae44 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML

#6013490
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32247) - you deserved it (3295)

On 10/26/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by laxie (woman) - United States (Texas)



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