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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I went to pick my date up at her house. When I got to the door, her dad answered. We talked for a little bit and he told me to take his 1958 Corvette. I politely refused and he told me, "If I can trust you with my daughter, I can trust you with my car." I crashed into his mailbox. FML

#6322729
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17341) - you deserved it (34545)

On 11/16/2009 at 2:32am - love - by Manstobe92 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I stood in line for one hour to get a new phone. It then took me 2 minutes to drop it and shatter the screen, and 2 seconds for the employee to look at, laugh, and tell me, "That Sucks." FML

#6322699
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13364) - you deserved it (27124)

On 11/16/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by bananaface (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finished installing a brand new engine in my old car. It cost just over $6000. Later, I was waiting at a red light and an uninsured drunk driver smashed into it head on. It's completely totaled. I got to drive it 5 miles. The car is worth $1000, even with a new engine. FML

#6318319
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29247) - you deserved it (3859)

On 11/15/2009 at 9:59pm - money - by stupidoldcar (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my ex decided he wanted to start calling me "Pup." I jokingly said "Please! Call me anything but that! Sausage face even! Just anything but that!" Later, we went bowling with a large group of friends. He put my name in the board as "Sausage Face." Everyone agreed it will be my new name. FML

#6312971
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7286) - you deserved it (38014)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:46pm - misc - by firefliiez (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of six years broke up with me for a girl he's known for less than 72 hours. Why? He wanted someone pure. I lost my virginity to him five years ago. FML

#6300717
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40140) - you deserved it (3730)

On 11/14/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by unengaged (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to see the cast list for the new musical I'm in. I didn't get the part I wanted, and instead I got the part of one of the suitors. Interestingly, they made me the suitor to my ex. And the guy she leaves me for at the end of the musical is the guy she left me for in real life. FML

#6298620
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40508) - you deserved it (2648)

On 11/14/2009 at 7:59am - love - by Indoraptor (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned I have over $10,000 in debt, despite never owning a credit card. Apparently, my ex-roommate had been replying to the credit card offers I was receiving in the mail. That also explains my missing driver's license a few months back. FML

#6290019
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31500) - you deserved it (2611)

On 11/13/2009 at 5:29pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was shopping with my baby daughter when an older woman came up to me. She glared and said, "You know, if you kids learned how to keep your legs closed, you wouldn't be a mother at 16." I'm 25. FML

#6288438
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37645) - you deserved it (3553)

On 11/13/2009 at 3:26pm - kids - by notateen (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a minor outpatient procedure that required sedation. I am not supposed to drive or even be alone for 24 hours. My husband wouldn't take the day off to go with me, and instead of coming home from work, he is at the bar with his coworkers. FML

#6278977
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29467) - you deserved it (2990)

On 11/12/2009 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a bee flew in my car so I swerved off the road and hit a mailbox. It was a metal keg filled with cement buried in the ground. Taking my father's advice I fled the scene. Later my mailman knocked on my door holding part of my bumper. He said "Excuse me, I think you hit my mailbox this morning." FML

#6255254
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5749) - you deserved it (38382)

On 11/11/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by Sybil90 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up at 6:00 am to the sound of somebody laying on their horn outside my apartment. I ran outside to yell at them only to find out it was my car. The horn was shortcircuting. All my neighbors stood on their porch laughing as I repeatedly punched my steering wheel to make it stop. FML

#6252858
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24575) - you deserved it (3669)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by carsuck (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML

#6211004
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23727) - you deserved it (7251)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML

#6165427
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37760) - you deserved it (6286)

On 11/05/2009 at 9:22am - health - by HairyBoobs (woman) - United States (Texas)



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