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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML

#6792235
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12519) - you deserved it (47817)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went in for an interview at my dream job. When I walked in, I got a dirty look from the front desk secretary. Turns out, the guy interviewing me was from a dating website I'm on. I'd rejected him and told him to get a life. FML

#6791781
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10910) - you deserved it (29532)

On 12/17/2009 at 10:46am - work - by Interview tragedy - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that when an officer screams, "DON'T MOVE OR I'LL TASE YOU", it really means, "If you so much as flinch I'm going to shoot and 50,000 volts will be directed through your nose and groin." FML

#6785905
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24424) - you deserved it (10703)

On 12/16/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28879) - you deserved it (7004)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to this guy I like. He's very private and hides all his photos and wall posts on Facebook. Or so I thought, turns out he has me on a restricted friends list, titled "Creepers." FML

#6746062
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9782) - you deserved it (22344)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:03am - love - by creeper (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML

#6741094
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37593) - you deserved it (5634)

On 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's Saturday. While all my friends go out to have fun, I get my excitement thinking about how I'll be sleeping with a new pillow. FML

#6733477
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23568) - you deserved it (6098)

On 12/13/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by soy_un_perderdor (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML

#6725096
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7838) - you deserved it (32633)

On 12/12/2009 at 5:54pm - misc - by Icci (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother thought it would be okay to take my camera and erase all of my pictures that included my graduation, party, and my sisters wedding. Her excuse? "We need more room for Katie's birthday." Katie is our pet cat. FML

#6721090
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32622) - you deserved it (3573)

On 12/12/2009 at 10:41am - animals - by Kelsie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14488) - you deserved it (35786)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, is my birthday and my friends and I went to our favorite pub to celebrate. As I'm a little broke at the moment, they all offered to buy me birthday drinks. Which I later learned meant that they would order them for me and bring it to the table, but put everything on my tab. FML

#6707872
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26897) - you deserved it (2472)

On 12/11/2009 at 11:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom picked my ex-boyfriend up early from school to take him to see a special screening of a documentary that's showing in town. She left me after school for an hour and a half because they ended up going out for coffee afterwards. FML

#6703555
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28923) - you deserved it (2172)

On 12/11/2009 at 12:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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