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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I woke up late for a very important presentation. I got dressed but forgot to wear a bra. During the presentation, I bent down to adjust a shoe strap. I rose to find that the thin straps of my blouse snapped and exposed my breasts. I gave a great presentation and a titty show. FML

#9095970
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14942) - you deserved it (33018)

On 03/15/2010 at 2:35am - work - by exposed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered my mom had sold all of our summer clothes over the winter on eBay because we're short on cash. However, I am allowed to cut off the sleeves of all my long sleeve shirts and the legs off my jeans to stay cool in the summer. Nothing's more attractive than looking trashy, right? FML

#9047777
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28762) - you deserved it (2848)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:16pm - money - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

#9030368
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26433) - you deserved it (2680)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered my step mom had thrown out my baby blanket because it was an "eyesore". It was an heirloom from my birth mother and the only thing I have left from her. FML

#9024995
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49710) - you deserved it (2058)

On 03/12/2010 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom told me she can't wait for me to turn eighteen so she can turn my room into a place for her to display all her antique glass dolls. FML

#8999294
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21662) - you deserved it (2239)

On 03/11/2010 at 4:07pm - misc - by heartless (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my boyfriend's extended family. His grandpa was apparently senile, as he kept calling me "Tilly" and asking me to dance. His relatives thought this hilarious and busted out the video camera. Later, I learned his grandpa is not senile at all - the family was playing a joke on me. FML

#8968601
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26319) - you deserved it (3748)

On 03/10/2010 at 9:54am - love - by NotTilly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because apparently I don't appreciate how he's different from other guys. I only told him that showering once a month was not normal. FML

#8967212
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29834) - you deserved it (4152)

On 03/10/2010 at 7:12am - love - by dumped - United States (Texas)

Today, I was using my fiancé's phone to look up movie times for us. In the internet browser, I found history of him looking on Craigslist for "discreet intimate relationships with women" in our city. We are expecting our little boy in two months. FML

#8948216
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35050) - you deserved it (2989)

On 03/09/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Teeny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally jumped high enough to dunk on the ten foot rim. I caught my tooth on the net and nearly pulled my tooth out. FML

#8943287
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23547) - you deserved it (5652)

On 03/09/2010 at 10:32am - health - by supermanxs1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML

#8916810
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11620) - you deserved it (31696)

On 03/08/2010 at 10:14am - love - by xXxtwilightLUV95xXx - United States (Texas)

Today, after leaving work at 10 pm, I took a shortcut to the highway. After getting lost, my GPS informed me that the service was unavailable and I should try back in an hour. This occurred moments before I ran out of gas. FML

#8861127
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22933) - you deserved it (7989)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by Lost... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML

#8818835
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10307) - you deserved it (18427)

On 03/04/2010 at 5:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML

#8775610
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24818) - you deserved it (2277)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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