Today, I got an email from a professor saying he was going to fail me for missing the alloted absences, which is school policy. I pointed out I was in the hospital for two weeks with a life threatening illness and that he even came to visit me. He told me "rules are rules." FML
I agree, your life sucks (113322) - you deserved it (4562)
On 03/28/2009 at 2:35am - health - by hospitalflunky (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, me and my girlfriend went to the club. The song "Single Ladies" by Beyonce came on; the DJ came on the mic and said "Single ladies raise your hands!" My girlfriend raised her hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53100) - you deserved it (5230)
On 03/27/2009 at 11:40pm - love - by dumpedattheclub (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was fired from a managerial position I've held for two years due to "inappropriate relations with a subordinate": I was dating a coworker. My girlfriend then broke up with me four hours later. Because I no longer had a job. I hired her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48773) - you deserved it (8850)
On 03/27/2009 at 10:47am - work - by mjohnston (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I texted this girl that I really like. I got a message back saying "Your message to 903-***-**** could not go through due to a disconnection, thanks, Alltel services." I overheard her later at lunch saying she sent the message, and laughed with her friends about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52841) - you deserved it (8758)
On 03/26/2009 at 10:54am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my watch broke so I casually mentioned to my dad that I needed a new one. A little while later he hands me this really nice watch. He says, "Here, this one's been lying around for a while". It was the watch I gave him for Father's Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64458) - you deserved it (3822)
On 03/25/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by regiftee (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having our new, previously stray, cat thrown on top of me. I was awoken to two claws ripping across my face which needed 16 stitches to fix. Happy Birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113397) - you deserved it (4676)
On 03/23/2009 at 6:46pm - animals - by birthdayfun (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my little 7 year old brother asked me what horny meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53968) - you deserved it (5233)
On 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (121966) - you deserved it (4847)
On 03/21/2009 at 1:33am - intimacy - by willywonks (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I started Lifeguard Training and we had the fitness test you had to pass to continue. I work out everyday and I start on our football team. It's spring break and i've worked everyday (construction). I'm fit. Time comes to take the test, I finished last, beat by a 44 year old woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43372) - you deserved it (12545)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by bron92 - United States (Texas)
Today, I had artfully managed to avoid anyone knowing that I was moving into a trailer park. I showed up at the trailer where all my friends, co-workers, and exes were waiting. My parents knew I was feeling down and wanted to throw me a surprise 'moving in' party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53113) - you deserved it (3129)
On 03/20/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by TrailerTrash (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got the courage to ask my mom if I could go to the movies alone on my first date with my new boyfriend. She said ok, which was surprising because she never lets me go anywhere alone. When I got to the theatre with him I saw my mom. She had saved seats for us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61343) - you deserved it (3054)
On 03/19/2009 at 8:07pm - misc - by shelteredchild (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and was knocking on the door asking "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answers, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (72002) - you deserved it (11575)
On 03/19/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by Zoe123 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was curling my eyelashes in my bathroom and while I was counting to 5 my brother flung open my door. I jumped and ended up ripping out all my eyelashes. Now I have to wait until they grow back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70154) - you deserved it (6493)
On 03/14/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by CPN (woman) - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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