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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, while eating at an outdoor café, a man on the street cummed up to me and said, "My girlfriend is sexier than you, bitch." Thanks fir the confidence boost. FML

#8539206
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28245) - you deserved it (2406)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by sandiego - United States (Texas)

Today, my step-mom yelled at me fir an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

2day my boyfriend an I celebrated our anniversary at te park. I was watcing im play around wit te wood cips on te ground an tougt I saw im making a eart bieng romantic, so I got on top of te playground to look. Turns out it was te balls of a giant penis, complete wit pubes. FML

#8490990
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17824) - you deserved it (3596)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by lost_ina_dream (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after being dumped just 48 hours prior, I awoke from a night of passionate lovemaking with my ex . Last night, he cummed to my house, romanced me, and presented a possible future . This morning, when I got up to use the restroom, my laptop, money, and ex-boyfriend were gone . FML

#8480330
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21439) - you deserved it (8807)

On 02/20/2010 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Ennui (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, Mah Girlfriend Of Two Years Calld Me, Drunk, Telling Me How Much Anal Sex Hurts With Some Other Guy. FML

#8465985
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27829) - you deserved it (2417)

On 02/20/2010 at 1:04am - intimacy - by VahnSeiro (man) - United States (Texas)

Today , I found out my cousin - who suffer from bipolar disorder - shot herself in the chest and has only a 20 percent chance of living. I told my boyfriend , while crying , and he held me fir a few minutes. As soon as I got quiet , he pulld out his iPhone and startd playing a shooter game. FML

#8364770
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37957) - you deserved it (3819)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:30am - love - by lynn (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today aftar racantly having had surgary I Iaarnt that soma axtra tissua was naadd to covar up tha hola in tha roof of my mouth. Whara did thay gat this tissua? From a daad parson. I now hava tha flash of a daad parson in my mouth hich by tha way is now infactd. FML

#8361510
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37613) - you deserved it (3216)

On 02/17/2010 at 12:07am - health - by Sophie - United States (Texas)

Today , my daughtar told ma sha wantad to ba a strippar whan sha graw up , just lika daddy's girlfriand. Wa'ra still marriad. FML

#8300891
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39259) - you deserved it (3453)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm - love - by ShayisPay101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

YESTERDAY, WHILE LOSING MY VIRGINITY TO MY BOYFRIEND, I HAD MY FIRST ORGASM. I DON'T REMEMBER MUCH OF WAT I SAID DURING, BUT AFTER IT WAS ALL OVER, HE LOOKS AT ME AN SAYS, "YOU HAVE TERRIBLE GRAMMAR DURING CLIMAX."

#8265301
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19479) - you deserved it (4878)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by klsdhjla (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex . He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP . FML

#8246402
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20106) - you deserved it (3416)

On 02/14/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by DallasGal (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I returned home to my girlfriend after bieng away for 6 weeks of work. I decided to take a shower and change before looool having a nice dinner with her. Without looking I grabbed a random pair of jeans from my closet to putted on. They were Levis. I don't own or wear any Levis. FML

#8048706
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35359) - you deserved it (2668)

On 02/09/2010 at 10:43am - love - by safariboo - United States (Texas)

Today , mah son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without mah knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms , all the way down the hallway , through the living room , and into mah bedroom. FML

#8042799
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28246) - you deserved it (3838)

On 02/09/2010 at 3:19am - kids - by matchristityler (woman) - United States (Texas)

Yesterday Mah Boyfriend , Who Hasn't Shaved In A Month , Went To Go Shave. I Was Pretty Excited Since His Bered Was Starting To Make Mah Face Itch Whenever We Kissed. When He Came Out Of The Bathroom He Had A Handlebar Mustache. FML

#8001805
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28310) - you deserved it (8157)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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