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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, my husband left for a two-week trip. Last night he gave the dog a treat of steak fat and gristle. My treat? I am on bed rest with my pregnancy and helpless to stop the rancid dog farts that are silent and smell like a burning septic tank exploded. FML

Today, my parents met my fiancée's parents for the first time in a large family gathering two weeks before our formal wedding. Both sets of parents were telling funny stories about our pasts. My dad's story won. He told how I spent a week in jail earlier this year. FML

#12061859
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26906) - you deserved it (10400)

On 07/23/2010 at 8:59am - love - by justmyluck25 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while taking pictures by the pool, my friend wanted to use my camera. I told her to put the wrist strap on so it wouldn't fall into the pool. She dropped the camera while trying to put the strap on. FML

#12057570
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30465) - you deserved it (5173)

On 07/23/2010 at 1:58am - misc - by Me. - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he loved me. He looked thoughtful, gathered me in his arms and said, "If I say yes, will you be less pissed?" and then tried to stick his hand down my pants. FML

Today, I saw a woman still texting on her phone as she started to drive away when the light turned green. I made sure to stare her down and give her a dirty look because she wasn't paying attention to driving. She laughed as I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#11570883
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9306) - you deserved it (57564)

On 06/30/2010 at 7:06pm - misc - by Crash (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML

#11548771
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20171) - you deserved it (27122)

On 06/29/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by Tp (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to boxing and this hot chick asked me if I was wearing a sports cup. I replied yes, when I wasn't. I thought she was going to check with her hand and feel. She checked with her knee. FML

#11442644
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8789) - you deserved it (65802)

On 06/25/2010 at 1:09am - health - by Gbeat411 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML

#11418023
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39953) - you deserved it (5017)

On 06/24/2010 at 1:09am - love - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a 75 year old lady drove into me. Her excuse was, "I wasn't looking." Awesome. FML

#11412835
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37425) - you deserved it (3093)

On 06/23/2010 at 9:51pm - misc - by hurricane0331 - United States (Texas)

Today, it was the girl of my dreams' birthday. She already knows I am totally in love with her. So for her birthday I decided to buy her a $60 dollar bottle of rum for her and her friends to have fun with. She picked it up from my house with her new boyfriend waiting in the car. FML

#11409432
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25691) - you deserved it (36775)

On 06/23/2010 at 7:06pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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