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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I met my boyfriend's extended family. His grandpa was apparently senile, as he kept calling me "Tilly" and asking me to dance. His relatives thought this hilarious and busted out the video camera. Later, I learned his grandpa is not senile at all - the family was playing a joke on me. FML

#8968601
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26285) - you deserved it (3744)

On 03/10/2010 at 9:54am - love - by NotTilly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because apparently I don't appreciate how he's different from other guys. I only told him that showering once a month was not normal. FML

#8967212
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29785) - you deserved it (4150)

On 03/10/2010 at 7:12am - love - by dumped - United States (Texas)

Today, I was using my fiancé's phone to look up movie times for us. In the internet browser, I found history of him looking on Craigslist for "discreet intimate relationships with women" in our city. We are expecting our little boy in two months. FML

#8948216
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35008) - you deserved it (2986)

On 03/09/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Teeny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally jumped high enough to dunk on the ten foot rim. I caught my tooth on the net and nearly pulled my tooth out. FML

#8943287
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23506) - you deserved it (5647)

On 03/09/2010 at 10:32am - health - by supermanxs1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML

#8916810
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11601) - you deserved it (31661)

On 03/08/2010 at 10:14am - love - by xXxtwilightLUV95xXx - United States (Texas)

Today, after leaving work at 10 pm, I took a shortcut to the highway. After getting lost, my GPS informed me that the service was unavailable and I should try back in an hour. This occurred moments before I ran out of gas. FML

#8861127
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22919) - you deserved it (7985)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by Lost... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML

#8818835
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9484) - you deserved it (17037)

On 03/04/2010 at 5:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML

#8775610
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24782) - you deserved it (2276)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML

#8771730
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18947) - you deserved it (3538)

On 03/02/2010 at 11:58am - intimacy - by fatcheeks (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I visited my friend in a nasty part of town. When I saw the shattered window of the car next to me, and the missing stereo, I moved my car to a safer location. Luckily, though, I have a common car, so the thieves were able to jimmy the lock and steal my stereo without making any noise. FML

#8712450
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20456) - you deserved it (2694)

On 02/28/2010 at 5:51am - money - by unsurprised (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after many weeks of talking to this guy over the phone for hours on end and establishing that we both had feelings for the other, we met in person. He saw me, got an "emergency text," and hasn't talked to me since. FML

#8678554
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27069) - you deserved it (5114)

On 02/27/2010 at 12:02am - love - by dino317 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

#8663414
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24401) - you deserved it (2266)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Ineedit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I brought to her attention a rather large zit on the corner of her mouth. She called me an insensitive prick. I only pointed it out because I didn't want other people to see it and make fun of her. FML

#8624928
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22457) - you deserved it (19255)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:26pm - love - by pickit (man) - United States (Texas)



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