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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I went in to work and was handed a write-up for having lied about being sick in order to leave early yesterday. Apparently, a co-worker saw me leave the parking lot, then immediately pull into the shopping center next door. I was going to Walgreens for cold medicine. FML

#7662732
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29039) - you deserved it (1942)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - health - by sixxie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my headphones were broken, so I fixed them with super glue. Without thinking, I stuck them in my ear and listened to some music. When it came time to take them out, I couldn't. FML

#7644326
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8033) - you deserved it (46671)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:25pm - misc - by Lance (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend's ex-wife facebooked me to inform me that they were still married and he was still sleeping with her. I've been living with him for the past month. FML

#7605388
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28631) - you deserved it (3711)

On 01/27/2010 at 1:18am - love - by LivingInSin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML

#7560718
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (6505)

On 01/25/2010 at 12:33am - love - by Phoenix0614 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML

#7545764
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30710) - you deserved it (4740)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:32pm - love - by firstdate (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the store when I ran into an old friend from high school. He didn't recognize me at first, but when I told him who I was, he instantly shouted "Oh! Yeah! The fat chick from Mr. H's class!" FML

#7535757
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24539) - you deserved it (3834)

On 01/24/2010 at 1:03am - misc - by unluckymiss (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got out of the hospital for the second time in a week. The first time was for a seizure that my cat induced by tripping me over. The second was to get stitches from the Doberman that had decided to take over my front yard while I was gone. Apparently I was intruding. FML

#7512999
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22815) - you deserved it (2085)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:13am - health - by estallidos (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she suspected me of cheating. She thought I was cheating because she caught me sneaking out in the middle of the night. I was sneaking out to plan my proposal to her. FML

#7503398
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35175) - you deserved it (3588)

On 01/22/2010 at 5:41pm - love - by ponyboy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that my supervisor has been submitting completed projects to our manager on time for everyone on the team but me. She has been deliberately making it appear as though I am weeks behind on my projects, when in reality I am one of the first ones done every month. FML

#7453397
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31124) - you deserved it (1821)

On 01/20/2010 at 8:31am - work - by superscrewed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost my job because I was doing my work too quickly, getting too much done and the supervisor was afraid I was bored. I have only been here for 3 weeks and already had the best stats on the team. FML

#7445889
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28856) - you deserved it (1963)

On 01/19/2010 at 9:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML

#7432728
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34776) - you deserved it (4076)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into Jamba Juice like I do every day. I decided to order something different than I usually do, and was flattered when the cashier recognized me. Then he switched places with another employee, and from the back room I hear "Hey, ugly's back again." FML

#7426136
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27337) - you deserved it (2590)

On 01/18/2010 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought a fake "wedding ring" at Target to play a prank on my parents. They kicked me out, saying my "fiancé" can take care of me now. There is no fiancé, and I just lost my job. FML

#7420544
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10134) - you deserved it (37362)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:12pm - love - by Crissylove10 (woman) - United States (Texas)



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