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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

#8001805
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28138) - you deserved it (8138)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was backing out of the my work's parking lot, I hit my boss' truck. While he was in it. FML

#7939097
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9270) - you deserved it (19374)

On 02/06/2010 at 2:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML

#7905644
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5684) - you deserved it (49557)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:22pm - misc - by goldenshower (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was developing film at walmart. It started to get a little warm, so I began taking off my sweatshirt. This creepy old man approaches me, saying "You know, usually girls like you are paid to take their clothes off." FML

#7837856
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28805) - you deserved it (3851)

On 02/03/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by hotandbothered (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that I owe the IRS money due to my previous job not taking enough taxes out. I am broke, unemployed, and was counting on a big refund so I could pay for my divorce. FML

#7810009
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27864) - you deserved it (4406)

On 02/02/2010 at 8:00am - money - by taxed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized what all the women I've been with have in common: Craigslist. FML

#7743505
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6731) - you deserved it (25129)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:42pm - love - by depr3ssed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

#7728749
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29096) - you deserved it (6232)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML

#7666116
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10443) - you deserved it (51864)

On 01/29/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went in to work and was handed a write-up for having lied about being sick in order to leave early yesterday. Apparently, a co-worker saw me leave the parking lot, then immediately pull into the shopping center next door. I was going to Walgreens for cold medicine. FML

#7662732
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27904) - you deserved it (1850)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - health - by sixxie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my headphones were broken, so I fixed them with super glue. Without thinking, I stuck them in my ear and listened to some music. When it came time to take them out, I couldn't. FML

#7644326
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8021) - you deserved it (46620)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:25pm - misc - by Lance (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend's ex-wife facebooked me to inform me that they were still married and he was still sleeping with her. I've been living with him for the past month. FML

#7605388
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28597) - you deserved it (3710)

On 01/27/2010 at 1:18am - love - by LivingInSin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML

#7560718
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23652) - you deserved it (6501)

On 01/25/2010 at 12:33am - love - by Phoenix0614 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML

#7545764
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30693) - you deserved it (4733)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:32pm - love - by firstdate (man) - United States (Texas)



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