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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I finally jumped high enough to dunk on the ten foot rim. I caught my tooth on the net and nearly pulled my tooth out. FML

#8943287
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23309) - you deserved it (5626)

On 03/09/2010 at 10:32am - health - by supermanxs1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML

#8916810
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10405) - you deserved it (29703)

On 03/08/2010 at 10:14am - love - by xXxtwilightLUV95xXx - United States (Texas)

Today, after leaving work at 10 pm, I took a shortcut to the highway. After getting lost, my GPS informed me that the service was unavailable and I should try back in an hour. This occurred moments before I ran out of gas. FML

#8861127
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20702) - you deserved it (7533)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by Lost... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML

#8818835
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9403) - you deserved it (16904)

On 03/04/2010 at 5:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML

#8775610
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24551) - you deserved it (2270)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML

#8771730
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18785) - you deserved it (3526)

On 03/02/2010 at 11:58am - intimacy - by fatcheeks (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I visited my friend in a nasty part of town. When I saw the shattered window of the car next to me, and the missing stereo, I moved my car to a safer location. Luckily, though, I have a common car, so the thieves were able to jimmy the lock and steal my stereo without making any noise. FML

#8712450
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20304) - you deserved it (2682)

On 02/28/2010 at 5:51am - money - by unsurprised (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after many weeks of talking to this guy over the phone for hours on end and establishing that we both had feelings for the other, we met in person. He saw me, got an "emergency text," and hasn't talked to me since. FML

#8678554
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25523) - you deserved it (4965)

On 02/27/2010 at 12:02am - love - by dino317 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

#8663414
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22177) - you deserved it (2076)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Ineedit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I brought to her attention a rather large zit on the corner of her mouth. She called me an insensitive prick. I only pointed it out because I didn't want other people to see it and make fun of her. FML

#8624928
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21029) - you deserved it (18451)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:26pm - love - by pickit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was very sick, and my boyfriend was taking care of me at his parents' house. I was laying on the couch, innocently watching a movie while he rubbed my feet, when his stepmother came home from work. She freaked out, accused us of having it off on her couch, and kicked me out. FML

#8611992
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25576) - you deserved it (2171)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:18am - misc - by Greymoya (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML

#8606853
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29878) - you deserved it (1779)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by ks0300 - United States (Texas)

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML

#8583578
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25183) - you deserved it (7280)

On 02/23/2010 at 7:51am - misc - by medik - United States (Texas)



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