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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

#15227856
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43855) - you deserved it (4203)

On 03/07/2011 at 8:47am - kids - by fourfootnine (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44768) - you deserved it (3615)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)

Today, I got rejected by two different guys. One was my ex-boyfriend who said he wanted to keep our friendship, and the other was a guy I went on a date with who faked a European accent the whole time during our date despite him being born and raised in Texas. FML

#15183035
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28847) - you deserved it (6428)

On 03/03/2011 at 2:24am - love - by Apparentlycreepy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

#15162100
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15186) - you deserved it (43953)

On 03/01/2011 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML

#15051714
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50109) - you deserved it (19416)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Infected (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

#15038049
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37260) - you deserved it (7143)

On 02/19/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

#15036235
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31757) - you deserved it (8432)

On 02/19/2011 at 2:20am - love - by PlayboyBunny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom told me that she was selling my favorite thing in the world, my trombone. The only thing that I'm good at is the trombone. FML

#15026564
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35756) - you deserved it (5094)

On 02/18/2011 at 9:47am - misc - by ihavenothing - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally told my dad that he owes me over 400 dollars, and that I need it or else I'd get kicked out of my apartment. He only gave me 70 and said to get a better job. FML

#15020532
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30725) - you deserved it (4883)

On 02/17/2011 at 9:16pm - money - by needofmoney (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husbands rather rattling snoring, I finally managed it... only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML

#14990057
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28043) - you deserved it (3702)

On 02/15/2011 at 12:10pm - love - by Ugh (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I put up an ad on Craig's List to find a best friend. I don't know what's more pathetic: looking for a best friend online, or the ad being removed almost instantly. FML

#14960635
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12790) - you deserved it (29695)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:06pm - misc - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to my truck with no clothes on, he is my baseball coach and I will be seeing him on Monday. FML

#14944221
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36621) - you deserved it (21820)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:59am - intimacy - by Keith walk - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again. But I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out". My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML

#14943630
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59726) - you deserved it (4548)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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