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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I found myself crying in the bathroom because I started to feel lonely and depressed. My mother came into the bathroom, hearing me cry and gave me an hour long speech about what a beautiful human being I am... And to not forget to lose weight. FML

#13511696
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25170) - you deserved it (4992)

On 10/19/2010 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a guy asked for my number. He used the rather annoying "You know, this iPhone has everything... but you know the only thing that's missing is your number." I might have given it to him, if he did have the iPhone, not the makeshift box of Mini Wheat Thins he had in his hand. FML

#13502954
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22498) - you deserved it (5443)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of two years told his friend that he decided a long time ago that he would never be faithful to a woman. I was sitting next to him. FML

#13496771
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29588) - you deserved it (3085)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:23am - love - by sugar - United States (Texas)

Today, my best friend was doing my hair. She got frustrated and exclaimed, "It won't stay!" I replied with, "Just like your mom!" It was then that I remembered her mom had just left her dad and moved out of the house to be with someone else. FML

#13485741
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8870) - you deserved it (54085)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Nobody - United States (Texas)

Today, I waited in line at Subway. There were two people in front of me. The first lady had seven sandwiches and the second lady had four. So after patiently waiting, I ordered my sandwich, only to have my credit card declined. FML

#13453945
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21495) - you deserved it (10702)

On 10/15/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by bcf1234 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I went out for ice cream. We somehow started talking about which of our relatives had died. Right when she was talking about how her grandfather had died, I started laughing. She had gotten ice cream all over her face. She broke up with me. FML

#13431152
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10540) - you deserved it (36757)

On 10/13/2010 at 5:02am - love - by your mother (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

#13426894
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6280) - you deserved it (61337)

On 10/12/2010 at 10:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me it wasn't working out and he was breaking up with me. The reason? I have the same first and last name as a very unpopular girl, and he gets embarrassed when people mistakenly assume he's going out with her. FML

#13379120
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33110) - you deserved it (3055)

On 10/09/2010 at 2:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML

#13338032
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10810) - you deserved it (51369)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:37am - love - by crucets (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a job in my university library. My job title is technical services. My actual job is pulling off the book label for the scanner and putting a new one on. For six hours a day. FML

#13325308
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21581) - you deserved it (4286)

On 10/05/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by danrocketman - United States (Texas)

Today, I was tossing my car keys into the air and catching them. I threw them up really high, only to have them land in the branches of the palm tree outside my door, at the very top. FML

#13310040
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7234) - you deserved it (44806)

On 10/03/2010 at 10:10pm - misc - by 2234 - United States (Texas)

Today, I really had to pee so I took the only stall that was available in the bathroom: the handicapped stall. A girl in a wheelchair came in seconds later and cursed at me for taking her designated spot. FML

#13304780
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26143) - you deserved it (7265)

On 10/03/2010 at 2:50pm - misc - by Kasnt - United States (Texas)

Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML

#13291298
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29195) - you deserved it (4063)

On 10/02/2010 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - United States (Texas)



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