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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I fell down the stairs carrying a huge TV. Don't worry, my body cushioned the TV's fall. FML

#10774629
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28448) - you deserved it (4341)

On 05/26/2010 at 10:21am - misc - by hatestomove - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

#10772340
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15181) - you deserved it (32413)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:17am - health - by kaylajere - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned my boyfriend has another girlfriend. His excuse is he's bipolar and each of his personalities needs a girlfriend. FML

#10642030
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40504) - you deserved it (4582)

On 05/20/2010 at 1:12am - love - by life sucks - United States (Texas)

Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My cell phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML

#10516903
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8740) - you deserved it (29571)

On 05/13/2010 at 10:11pm - misc - by BigMouth McRedface (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my son's phone bill (the phone I got him to call us from college). I found out he's been calling a phone sex hotline everyday. He hasn't called us once. FML

#9796070
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36723) - you deserved it (7959)

On 04/11/2010 at 2:34am - intimacy - by dannytriplet - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally realized that the only time my mother talks to me is when she needs money. FML

#9177889
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28457) - you deserved it (2837)

On 03/18/2010 at 1:18am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of more than two years told me in front of all of our friends that he'd trade me for some Playstation 3 games. I laughed it off because I thought he was kidding. He made it clear that he was serious. FML

#9153191
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32166) - you deserved it (4630)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:05am - love - by Girl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that I will be spending my spring break alone because my family is going to France. I can't go with them nor go with any of my friends because I have to take care of the cat. FML

#9149422
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33061) - you deserved it (3668)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:18am - animals - by LG (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized my girlfriend has way more friends than I do. How did I realize this? She called me to tell me she was at the beach with her friends and how much fun she was having. I was playing WoW in my room, and my friends don't answer my texts. FML

#9122950
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12369) - you deserved it (23184)

On 03/16/2010 at 1:12am - misc - by LonelyBoy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the satellite radio at work went on the fritz, playing one song over and over. Management wouldn't turn it off, though, because then customers would miss out on all those upcoming-sale announcements that run intermittently. Meanwhile, I got to listen to "Footloose" for eight hours. FML

#9099724
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24116) - you deserved it (2098)

On 03/15/2010 at 9:33am - work - by PunchingKennyLoggins (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up late for a very important presentation. I got dressed but forgot to wear a bra. During the presentation, I bent down to adjust a shoe strap. I rose to find that the thin straps of my blouse snapped and exposed my breasts. I gave a great presentation and a titty show. FML

#9095970
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13496) - you deserved it (30864)

On 03/15/2010 at 2:35am - work - by exposed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered my mom had sold all of our summer clothes over the winter on eBay because we're short on cash. However, I am allowed to cut off the sleeves of all my long sleeve shirts and the legs off my jeans to stay cool in the summer. Nothing's more attractive than looking trashy, right? FML

#9047777
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27215) - you deserved it (2726)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:16pm - money - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

#9030368
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26220) - you deserved it (2658)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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