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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room. My husband took one look at me, let out a heavy sigh and said "right now?" FML

#14448296
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35049) - you deserved it (4403)

On 01/03/2011 at 3:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my beautiful engagement ring is a remake of the late Princess Diana's engagement ring. I also found out my fiancé bought it from an infomercial, for $19.95. FML

#14447328
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32356) - you deserved it (6949)

On 01/03/2011 at 1:52am - love - by puggles (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a major falling out with my best friend. Angry, I sent a short text message to him explaining how I felt. I soon noticed I'd accidentally texted "I'm going to fucking kill you, asshole." to my boss instead. I'm still waiting on a reply. FML

#14415862
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8790) - you deserved it (35455)

On 12/31/2010 at 11:05pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making a snowman with my little cousin. I was collecting snow just outside the house, when out of nowhere a snowball struck me in the back of the head and caused me to headbutt the wall. I woke up a short while later to a medic telling me I had a nasty concussion. Thanks, cousin. FML

#14410593
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22620) - you deserved it (3040)

On 12/31/2010 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom told me that my new concealer is way too dark and makes my skin look hideously orange and uneven. I wasn't wearing any makeup. FML

#14347070
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31376) - you deserved it (4140)

On 12/26/2010 at 4:32pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was able to land a nice apartment solely based on the fact that my puppy is potty trained. During the required pet interview, my dog 'got sick' and defecated all over the apartment office. I now have to clean the mess knowing that I will not be allowed to live there. FML

#14339155
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23520) - you deserved it (3914)

On 12/25/2010 at 9:29pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42156) - you deserved it (8784)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad had a go at me because he thought I was embarrassed by him and that was why I never invited any of my friends over. I was too embarrassed to tell him it's actually because I don't have any friends to invite over. FML

#14319411
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27858) - you deserved it (3454)

On 12/24/2010 at 2:15am - misc - by nerdwithagun (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML

#14319406
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23727) - you deserved it (4798)

On 12/24/2010 at 2:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML

#14316473
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24497) - you deserved it (8735)

On 12/23/2010 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by troubleintoyland (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hanging out with my crush and wanted to see what he thought of me. Instead of asking him straight, I tugged at my shirt, saying ''I don't know why I wear this top. I always look awful in it." He said, "Are you fishing for a fat joke?" FML

#14304589
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9495) - you deserved it (40036)

On 12/22/2010 at 11:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my two kids to a Christmas festival with a train theme. I spent $24 on conductor hats for them. When I gave them the hats, they threw them on the ground and put the red paper bags they came in on their heads. FML

#14289494
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20959) - you deserved it (6420)

On 12/21/2010 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my friends have been "fake laughing" whenever I make a joke just so that the situation doesn't get awkward. FML

#14265623
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13524) - you deserved it (22298)

On 12/19/2010 at 10:41pm - misc - by fakelaugher (man) - United States (Texas)



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