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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, a 75 year old lady drove into me. Her excuse was, "I wasn't looking." Awesome. FML

#11412835
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34489) - you deserved it (2883)

On 06/23/2010 at 9:51pm - misc - by hurricane0331 - United States (Texas)

Today, it was the girl of my dreams' birthday. She already knows I am totally in love with her. So for her birthday I decided to buy her a $60 dollar bottle of rum for her and her friends to have fun with. She picked it up from my house with her new boyfriend waiting in the car. FML

#11409432
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23658) - you deserved it (34417)

On 06/23/2010 at 7:06pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my computer was hit by something bigger than a virus: a car. FML

#11264339
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33067) - you deserved it (4402)

On 06/17/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by katiebabby - United States (Texas)

Today, while in line at the waterpark, I looked down to find my 3 year old daughter chewing on a used band-aid. FML

#11056176
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37473) - you deserved it (6729)

On 06/08/2010 at 12:07pm - kids - by sarahfromthesouth - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend started to plan our wedding. He included a clown. FML

#11027844
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33512) - you deserved it (7546)

On 06/07/2010 at 2:43am - love - by soccerbooty - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML

#10975690
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65071) - you deserved it (7996)

On 06/04/2010 at 10:03pm - love - by weirdesout - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my sister has a nickname for me due to my recent breakouts. It's "volcano face". FML

#10973475
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26095) - you deserved it (4359)

On 06/04/2010 at 8:07pm - misc - by morgan_love11 - United States (Texas)

Today, a four pound can of tuna fell on my head at work, and it burst all over my clothes. Since I'm the manager, I had to stay all day reeking of tuna. Now I'm home, my damn cat won't leave me alone. FML

#10855287
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27971) - you deserved it (3906)

On 05/30/2010 at 1:12am - animals - by Alpheas - United States (Texas)

Today, a few friends and I ran through sprinklers at our school until we were all soaked. Then we were told that they put fertilizer in the water. I'm soaked in manure. Now I know why it tasted weird. FML

#10777630
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10412) - you deserved it (36726)

On 05/26/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by noraidk - United States (Texas)

Today, I fell down the stairs carrying a huge TV. Don't worry, my body cushioned the TV's fall. FML

#10774629
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28355) - you deserved it (4333)

On 05/26/2010 at 10:21am - misc - by hatestomove - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

#10772340
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15151) - you deserved it (32358)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:17am - health - by kaylajere - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned my boyfriend has another girlfriend. His excuse is he's bipolar and each of his personalities needs a girlfriend. FML

#10642030
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40413) - you deserved it (4578)

On 05/20/2010 at 1:12am - love - by life sucks - United States (Texas)

Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My cell phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML

#10516903
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8488) - you deserved it (28906)

On 05/13/2010 at 10:11pm - misc - by BigMouth McRedface (woman) - United States (Texas)



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