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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, my friends were all sharing sweet things their boyfriends had shared with them. After hearing "he says I look pretty without makeup" or "he promises we'll get married one day", I realized that the only compliment he's given me is that my laughter "sounds like a squirrel having a seizure." FML

#12552157
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28210) - you deserved it (4986)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:03am - love - by 86145 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I put on makeup for a picture. My Facebook profile picture. That's how much of a life I actually have. FML

#12534816
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12076) - you deserved it (29256)

On 08/15/2010 at 4:42am - misc - by Lifeless (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found my old sewing machine I got when I was a kid. I never used it before, because when I was younger, I was afraid I might sew my fingers. Laughing at myself, I decided to sew up an old bag. I sewed my thumb. FML

#12453698
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14915) - you deserved it (23012)

On 08/11/2010 at 12:33pm - misc - by Jorgina226 - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my best friend is moving to Arkansas, and my girlfriend is going with him. FML

#12386734
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39779) - you deserved it (3112)

On 08/08/2010 at 4:49am - love - by LadyGagasLOVER (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to clear up some storm damage. I carefully cut a tree that was threatening to fall on my house. It fell on my neighbor's house instead. He's taking me to court for damages. FML

#12365331
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14583) - you deserved it (31884)

On 08/07/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Zinfandel (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML

#12322753
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53797) - you deserved it (3873)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Drew - United States (Texas)

Today, some jerk super glued leaves and a note onto my car's front windshield. Not only is it directly in front of the driver's seat and makes it nearly impossible to drive, but it won't come off. What makes it worse? I was spending the night at a friend's house and the note was meant for her. FML

#12317472
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26554) - you deserved it (2197)

On 08/04/2010 at 9:13pm - misc - by Mustang (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he told me I was the love of his life. Afterwards, he clarified his statement. I was the love of his life, because I was in his life at that moment. FML

#12126725
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27041) - you deserved it (4169)

On 07/26/2010 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by robm (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband left for a two-week trip. Last night he gave the dog a treat of steak fat and gristle. My treat? I am on bed rest with my pregnancy and helpless to stop the rancid dog farts that are silent and smell like a burning septic tank exploded. FML

Today, my parents met my fiancée's parents for the first time in a large family gathering two weeks before our formal wedding. Both sets of parents were telling funny stories about our pasts. My dad's story won. He told how I spent a week in jail earlier this year. FML

#12061859
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26630) - you deserved it (10319)

On 07/23/2010 at 8:59am - love - by justmyluck25 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while taking pictures by the pool, my friend wanted to use my camera. I told her to put the wrist strap on so it wouldn't fall into the pool. She dropped the camera while trying to put the strap on. FML

#12057570
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28297) - you deserved it (4971)

On 07/23/2010 at 1:58am - misc - by Me. - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he loved me. He looked thoughtful, gathered me in his arms and said, "If I say yes, will you be less pissed?" and then tried to stick his hand down my pants. FML



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