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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I decided to clear up some storm damage. I carefully cut a tree that was threatening to fall on my house. It fell on my neighbor's house instead. He's taking me to court for damages. FML

#12365331
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14577) - you deserved it (31871)

On 08/07/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Zinfandel (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML

#12322753
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53763) - you deserved it (3869)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Drew - United States (Texas)

Today, some jerk super glued leaves and a note onto my car's front windshield. Not only is it directly in front of the driver's seat and makes it nearly impossible to drive, but it won't come off. What makes it worse? I was spending the night at a friend's house and the note was meant for her. FML

#12317472
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26544) - you deserved it (2197)

On 08/04/2010 at 9:13pm - misc - by Mustang (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he told me I was the love of his life. Afterwards, he clarified his statement. I was the love of his life, because I was in his life at that moment. FML

#12126725
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27005) - you deserved it (4169)

On 07/26/2010 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by robm (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband left for a two-week trip. Last night he gave the dog a treat of steak fat and gristle. My treat? I am on bed rest with my pregnancy and helpless to stop the rancid dog farts that are silent and smell like a burning septic tank exploded. FML

Today, my parents met my fiancée's parents for the first time in a large family gathering two weeks before our formal wedding. Both sets of parents were telling funny stories about our pasts. My dad's story won. He told how I spent a week in jail earlier this year. FML

#12061859
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26625) - you deserved it (10316)

On 07/23/2010 at 8:59am - love - by justmyluck25 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while taking pictures by the pool, my friend wanted to use my camera. I told her to put the wrist strap on so it wouldn't fall into the pool. She dropped the camera while trying to put the strap on. FML

#12057570
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28275) - you deserved it (4970)

On 07/23/2010 at 1:58am - misc - by Me. - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he loved me. He looked thoughtful, gathered me in his arms and said, "If I say yes, will you be less pissed?" and then tried to stick his hand down my pants. FML

Today, I saw a woman still texting on her phone as she started to drive away when the light turned green. I made sure to stare her down and give her a dirty look because she wasn't paying attention to driving. She laughed as I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#11570883
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8300) - you deserved it (53850)

On 06/30/2010 at 7:06pm - misc - by Crash (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML

#11548771
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18420) - you deserved it (25065)

On 06/29/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by Tp (woman) - United States (Texas)



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