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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML

#8818835
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8069) - you deserved it (14496)

On 03/04/2010 at 5:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML

#8775610
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23182) - you deserved it (2180)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML

#8771730
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16369) - you deserved it (3222)

On 03/02/2010 at 11:58am - intimacy - by fatcheeks (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I visited my friend in a nasty part of town. When I saw the shattered window of the car next to me, and the missing stereo, I moved my car to a safer location. Luckily, though, I have a common car, so the thieves were able to jimmy the lock and steal my stereo without making any noise. FML

#8712450
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16380) - you deserved it (2322)

On 02/28/2010 at 5:51am - money - by unsurprised (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after many weeks of talking to this guy over the phone for hours on end and establishing that we both had feelings for the other, we met in person. He saw me, got an "emergency text," and hasn't talked to me since. FML

#8678554
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24233) - you deserved it (4838)

On 02/27/2010 at 12:02am - love - by dino317 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

#8663414
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20796) - you deserved it (1958)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Ineedit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I brought to her attention a rather large zit on the corner of her mouth. She called me an insensitive prick. I only pointed it out because I didn't want other people to see it and make fun of her. FML

#8624928
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19656) - you deserved it (17674)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:26pm - love - by pickit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was very sick, and my boyfriend was taking care of me at his parents' house. I was laying on the couch, innocently watching a movie while he rubbed my feet, when his stepmother came home from work. She freaked out, accused us of having it off on her couch, and kicked me out. FML

#8611992
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21762) - you deserved it (1853)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:18am - misc - by Greymoya (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML

#8606853
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27602) - you deserved it (1599)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by ks0300 - United States (Texas)

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML

#8583578
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21658) - you deserved it (6673)

On 02/23/2010 at 7:51am - misc - by medik - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I have been crushing on for 2 years. At the end of the date he tells me that he is moving away and as his going away present, I could pay for dinner. FML

#8547609
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25191) - you deserved it (2457)

On 02/22/2010 at 6:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while eating at an outdoor café, a man on the street came up to me and said, "My girlfriend is sexier than you, bitch." Thanks for the confidence boost. FML

#8539206
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22143) - you deserved it (1742)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by sandiego - United States (Texas)

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML



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