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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

#12753768
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13712) - you deserved it (47746)

On 08/26/2010 at 9:32am - intimacy - by H8TR (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I swerved off the road and hit a tree in order to avoid hitting a dog that came out of nowhere. Don't worry, I didn't hit him. The person behind me did, though. FML

#12726945
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33724) - you deserved it (4475)

On 08/24/2010 at 8:48pm - animals - by vstan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the "small termite problem" the inspector told me about wasn't so small when a box from the attic fell through the floor and hit me in the head. FML

#12697631
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26199) - you deserved it (2814)

On 08/23/2010 at 5:03am - health - by concusion - United States (Texas)

Today, my hours got cut because I couldn't make it into work when they called me in. Why couldn't I make it in? I was in an interview for a better job. I didn't get the job. FML

#12665553
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20547) - you deserved it (16311)

On 08/21/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by thyella87 - United States (Texas)

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

#12626936
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9333) - you deserved it (76645)

On 08/19/2010 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by captainocd - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he finds his car more attractive than me. FML

#12623865
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29437) - you deserved it (6273)

On 08/19/2010 at 11:28am - love - by yup okay (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was alone in the car with my grandma for five hours while she told me all about the multiple bladder infections she's had in the past year. FML

#12599218
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25744) - you deserved it (2856)

On 08/18/2010 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends were all sharing sweet things their boyfriends had shared with them. After hearing "he says I look pretty without makeup" or "he promises we'll get married one day", I realized that the only compliment he's given me is that my laughter "sounds like a squirrel having a seizure." FML

#12552157
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28222) - you deserved it (4986)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:03am - love - by 86145 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I put on makeup for a picture. My Facebook profile picture. That's how much of a life I actually have. FML

#12534816
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12081) - you deserved it (29270)

On 08/15/2010 at 4:42am - misc - by Lifeless (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found my old sewing machine I got when I was a kid. I never used it before, because when I was younger, I was afraid I might sew my fingers. Laughing at myself, I decided to sew up an old bag. I sewed my thumb. FML

#12453698
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14927) - you deserved it (23023)

On 08/11/2010 at 12:33pm - misc - by Jorgina226 - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my best friend is moving to Arkansas, and my girlfriend is going with him. FML

#12386734
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39800) - you deserved it (3115)

On 08/08/2010 at 4:49am - love - by LadyGagasLOVER (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to clear up some storm damage. I carefully cut a tree that was threatening to fall on my house. It fell on my neighbor's house instead. He's taking me to court for damages. FML

#12365331
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14588) - you deserved it (31902)

On 08/07/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Zinfandel (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML

#12322753
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53819) - you deserved it (3874)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Drew - United States (Texas)



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