Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I asked my boyfriend what celebrity I look like. He thought long and hard, then said "Sarah Jessica Parker." I gasped and told him that I find her extremely hideous. He replied "So do I." FML

#13879750
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32129) - you deserved it (8165)

On 11/17/2010 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I changed my phone number because my old one belonged to a prostitute. My new one belongs to a debtor. FML

#13835312
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24812) - you deserved it (2558)

On 11/14/2010 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me I was the only girl he'd ever text, call, or flirt with again. Later on he told two other girls exactly the same thing on Facebook, not realizing that everybody can read wall messages. FML

#13829290
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30098) - you deserved it (3302)

On 11/13/2010 at 4:45pm - love - by girlwithaprob (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a restraining order from a girl I have never met. FML

#13808592
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34379) - you deserved it (3241)

On 11/11/2010 at 10:55pm - misc - by Bob - United States (Texas)

Today, my family and I were watching Mulan, and I mentioned that I've always had a crush on Shang. After going into detail about how I would "marry his sexy voice" I decided to look up this mystery dream man. To my surprise he was played by Donny Osmond. I will never live this down. FML

#13807463
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8376) - you deserved it (23555)

On 11/11/2010 at 9:40pm - misc - by hot4donny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my apartment building shut off our water for a short period of time because the pipes were being worked on. It was also the morning my dog had diarrhea on my cream carpet. Not only did I have to clean it up without water, I couldn't wash my hands afterward. FML

#13801774
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27576) - you deserved it (3044)

On 11/11/2010 at 1:02pm - animals - by jordanss - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss was watching taser pranks online, when he said he was going to "get me". We often take turns playing pranks on each other, and I was the last to prank him. Now I'm terrified to move or turn my back on anything other than a wall at work. FML

#13801647
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19128) - you deserved it (7961)

On 11/11/2010 at 12:46pm - work - by MrsKSB - United States (Texas)

Today, I complained to my boss about how my printer wasn't printing colored ink even though I had just installed a new cartridge yesterday. Upon investigation, she noted that I forgot to take off the protection sticker from the cartridge. Good job. FML

#13793318
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5781) - you deserved it (25878)

On 11/10/2010 at 7:26pm - work - by MrandMrsRendon20 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was writing my narrative essay for my English class. When I turned it in, I was really proud of what I thought I wrote. Evidently for some people listening to music while writing essays is a bad thing. My essay was filled with little bits of ZZ Top lyrics. FML

#13784109
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6391) - you deserved it (29645)

On 11/09/2010 at 11:00pm - work - by hwscrewed - United States (Texas)

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20643) - you deserved it (59786)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a drive with my girlfriend when we went past a 'Dead End' sign. She pointed to it and said it was "Foreshadowing our relationship". FML

#13754319
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29269) - you deserved it (3054)

On 11/07/2010 at 4:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent 6 hours unloading boxes into my new apartment. After unloading the entire truck and making trips up and down two flights of stairs, I heard a knock on the door. Apparently the landlord gave me the key to the WRONG apartment. Mine is downstairs. FML

#13742493
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25831) - you deserved it (2557)

On 11/06/2010 at 7:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: