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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I discovered my parents have spent my college fund because "2012 will happen" before I graduate. FML

#14561634
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44812) - you deserved it (3040)

On 01/13/2011 at 12:48am - money - by skyhigh - United States (Texas)

Today, my landlord sent tree cutters to take down a tree in our front yard. I didn't realize their job included walking around the house and gratuitously staring at me through the window as I dressed. My boyfriend won't complain because he's afraid our rent will go up in retaliation. FML

#14554836
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21448) - you deserved it (7165)

On 01/12/2011 at 2:42pm - misc - by iheartnjdevils - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the bathroom and my pee split into 4 different streams, none of which actually hit the toilet. FML

#14540407
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27398) - you deserved it (6547)

On 01/11/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my coworker thought it would be funny to throw my keys up onto the top shelf in storage. I'm 4'10. FML

#14539284
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25310) - you deserved it (3585)

On 01/10/2011 at 11:11pm - work - by frmitalywithlove (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
464 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71578) - you deserved it (3831)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML

#14505215
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28470) - you deserved it (3869)

On 01/08/2011 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room. My husband took one look at me, let out a heavy sigh and said "right now?" FML

#14448296
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34942) - you deserved it (4395)

On 01/03/2011 at 3:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my beautiful engagement ring is a remake of the late Princess Diana's engagement ring. I also found out my fiancé bought it from an infomercial, for $19.95. FML

#14447328
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32297) - you deserved it (6945)

On 01/03/2011 at 1:52am - love - by puggles (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a major falling out with my best friend. Angry, I sent a short text message to him explaining how I felt. I soon noticed I'd accidentally texted "I'm going to fucking kill you, asshole." to my boss instead. I'm still waiting on a reply. FML

#14415862
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8765) - you deserved it (35374)

On 12/31/2010 at 11:05pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making a snowman with my little cousin. I was collecting snow just outside the house, when out of nowhere a snowball struck me in the back of the head and caused me to headbutt the wall. I woke up a short while later to a medic telling me I had a nasty concussion. Thanks, cousin. FML

#14410593
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22549) - you deserved it (3035)

On 12/31/2010 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom told me that my new concealer is way too dark and makes my skin look hideously orange and uneven. I wasn't wearing any makeup. FML

#14347070
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31295) - you deserved it (4138)

On 12/26/2010 at 4:32pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was able to land a nice apartment solely based on the fact that my puppy is potty trained. During the required pet interview, my dog 'got sick' and defecated all over the apartment office. I now have to clean the mess knowing that I will not be allowed to live there. FML

#14339155
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22683) - you deserved it (3816)

On 12/25/2010 at 9:29pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42060) - you deserved it (8777)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)



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