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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, the elevator broke in my dorm and won't be fixed for several days. I live on the 26th floor. FML

#12870338
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37008) - you deserved it (3407)

On 09/02/2010 at 1:39pm - misc - by flimflam (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a stomach virus. I tried to make myself throw up to feel better. My long nails sliced open my throat from the inside, and I threw up blood. FML

#12869426
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11764) - you deserved it (53369)

On 09/02/2010 at 12:03pm - health - by Sickie. (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

#12753768
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13691) - you deserved it (47715)

On 08/26/2010 at 9:32am - intimacy - by H8TR (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I swerved off the road and hit a tree in order to avoid hitting a dog that came out of nowhere. Don't worry, I didn't hit him. The person behind me did, though. FML

#12726945
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33697) - you deserved it (4475)

On 08/24/2010 at 8:48pm - animals - by vstan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the "small termite problem" the inspector told me about wasn't so small when a box from the attic fell through the floor and hit me in the head. FML

#12697631
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26169) - you deserved it (2813)

On 08/23/2010 at 5:03am - health - by concusion - United States (Texas)

Today, my hours got cut because I couldn't make it into work when they called me in. Why couldn't I make it in? I was in an interview for a better job. I didn't get the job. FML

#12665553
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20529) - you deserved it (16301)

On 08/21/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by thyella87 - United States (Texas)

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

#12626936
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9324) - you deserved it (76584)

On 08/19/2010 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by captainocd - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he finds his car more attractive than me. FML

#12623865
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29412) - you deserved it (6270)

On 08/19/2010 at 11:28am - love - by yup okay (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was alone in the car with my grandma for five hours while she told me all about the multiple bladder infections she's had in the past year. FML

#12599218
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25364) - you deserved it (2824)

On 08/18/2010 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends were all sharing sweet things their boyfriends had shared with them. After hearing "he says I look pretty without makeup" or "he promises we'll get married one day", I realized that the only compliment he's given me is that my laughter "sounds like a squirrel having a seizure." FML

#12552157
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28192) - you deserved it (4982)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:03am - love - by 86145 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I put on makeup for a picture. My Facebook profile picture. That's how much of a life I actually have. FML

#12534816
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12075) - you deserved it (29245)

On 08/15/2010 at 4:42am - misc - by Lifeless (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found my old sewing machine I got when I was a kid. I never used it before, because when I was younger, I was afraid I might sew my fingers. Laughing at myself, I decided to sew up an old bag. I sewed my thumb. FML

#12453698
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14903) - you deserved it (23002)

On 08/11/2010 at 12:33pm - misc - by Jorgina226 - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my best friend is moving to Arkansas, and my girlfriend is going with him. FML

#12386734
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39751) - you deserved it (3112)

On 08/08/2010 at 4:49am - love - by LadyGagasLOVER (man) - United States (Texas)



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