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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, my boyfriend referred me to me as "just a friend" to his ex. They swapped phone numbers. FML

#15566439
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34341) - you deserved it (5621)

On 03/30/2011 at 9:10pm - love - by meohmy - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML

#15493729
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27354) - you deserved it (6638)

On 03/26/2011 at 2:32am - misc - by Broderick (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

#15409356
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41277) - you deserved it (7024)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:25am - health - by radiationkillz (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the sleazy guy I met with a few days ago decided to move into my home town to "be closer" to me. I've already told him I'm not interested in him, but he still continues to ask me out. FML

#15402612
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31340) - you deserved it (6814)

On 03/20/2011 at 5:40pm - love - by krissy - United States (Texas)

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46518) - you deserved it (9009)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)

Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML

#15352953
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27816) - you deserved it (6628)

On 03/17/2011 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was excited to have a window seat on my three hour flight to New York. When I got to my row, I noticed the screaming newborn occupying the seat in front of me, and a pair of toddlers behind me. I then looked to my seat to find I have no window. FML

#15351755
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30997) - you deserved it (3366)

On 03/17/2011 at 12:56pm - misc - by lalalalalala - United States (Texas)

Today, while practicing my gymnastics routine on the uneven bars, I was so distracted by my teammates' conversation about a party later that I miscalculated my flip and smacked my head on a bar. Ten stitches and a concussion later, I was left alone in the hospital. FML

#15302298
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28383) - you deserved it (14634)

On 03/14/2011 at 12:49am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to wait an hour in the awful rain for my mom to pick me up, because she didn't realize the clocks had gone forward already. FML

#15295862
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31786) - you deserved it (3859)

On 03/13/2011 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML

#15252423
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44843) - you deserved it (4313)

On 03/09/2011 at 5:27pm - love - by drebel (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost my cat. It's deaf, so no matter what I do it can't hear me. FML

#15251582
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43105) - you deserved it (4599)

On 03/09/2011 at 3:03pm - animals - by blahhlovely_30 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

#15227856
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40192) - you deserved it (3902)

On 03/07/2011 at 8:47am - kids - by fourfootnine (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40946) - you deserved it (3333)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)



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