FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with posted pics of them kissing on Facebook, and tagged me in them. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 9:04am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I got called for a job interview. I didn't catch where it was, and in my excitement I forgot to ask. I now have no idea where I'm being interviewed. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 1:27pm / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, my friend decided to jump out of a moving car. I had to explain to the nice old lady who stopped that my friend who was convulsing on the ground wasn't on drugs, he's just really stupid. FML

by dmanrique / 10/04/2011 at 11:10am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I finally got the nerve to tell my parents that I'm no longer going to pay them a flat percent of my salary, but only what they need to cover my expenses. Their response: "Better find a place of your own then, you freeloading bastard." FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2011 at 4:49pm / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

by Patricia / 10/01/2011 at 7:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML

by kewtness_17 / 10/01/2011 at 7:10pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I walked into a gas station to get a bag of chips. Upon moving towards the counter to pay, I noticed the cashier had what looked like a golf ball stuffed in his cheek. I said to him in a joking manner, "That's a huge pinch of dip!" His reply, "It's mouth cancer." FML

by lollipopgreen / 10/01/2011 at 8:33am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of telling my parents I was going to live on my own, I finally moved out. Not even 24 hours being out of their house, some reject burned down the apartment complex I live in. Guess who's moving back home. FML

by Foreverathome / 09/28/2011 at 1:17am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandparents came to visit. So far, they have called me fat, bragged about how my cousin is better than me, and told me how I'm not good enough for them. It's okay, though, they gave me a pretzel from the airline and a textbook on physics. In another language. FML

by FlyingWhisps / 09/27/2011 at 7:33pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years said she was leaving me because recently I wasn't making much money, and was playing too many video games. I recently got a raise at my job of 5 years. The job? Testing video games. FML

by Eric Moore / 09/25/2011 at 4:12am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML

by anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 11:22am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2011 at 8:11am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, six years after hurricane Katrina took everything from me, I received a letter in the mail from FEMA telling me that I have to repay them the money I received to replace what was lost. I have 30 days to repay $4,900 or the case will be sent into federal debt collection. FML

by fiendishkitty / 09/20/2011 at 1:53pm / United States (Texas) / Money