Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML

#16002585
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52787) - you deserved it (5060)

On 05/01/2011 at 10:30am - intimacy - by nothanks - United States (Texas)

Today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My husband, the father of the baby, got a birdie on the golf course at the exact same time. FML

#15948612
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44868) - you deserved it (5280)

On 04/27/2011 at 1:07pm - love - by Sammy - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to find a parking ticket on my car. My car was in my driveway and the cop who wrote it is my ex-boyfriend. This is the third time. FML

#15914349
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44935) - you deserved it (6498)

On 04/25/2011 at 12:24am - misc - by neverdatingacopagain (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog ate a $2,000 check. My credit card bill gets taken out of my bank account tomorrow. FML

#15812903
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32437) - you deserved it (9350)

On 04/16/2011 at 9:06pm - money - by TDCC (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

#15811020
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31601) - you deserved it (8270)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:20pm - health - by overflowing - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML

#15809243
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41493) - you deserved it (4260)

On 04/16/2011 at 3:18pm - love - by ColdHeat (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML

#15741479
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45707) - you deserved it (6532)

On 04/11/2011 at 3:27pm - intimacy - by Numb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my head has been killing me. I've had the worst headache ever. Happy that I could finally sleep, I plopped onto my bed and bashed my head on the wall. FML

#15720068
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26208) - you deserved it (9819)

On 04/10/2011 at 2:50am - misc - by Monique - United States (Texas)

Today, I filed my taxes. As a divorcée with children, I was supposed to get $3,500 back from the IRS. Alas, my ex's new wife already filed with my children, who don't live with her. I now owe the IRS $250. FML

#15708365
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42990) - you deserved it (3869)

On 04/09/2011 at 12:07pm - money - by fuckmylifeLulu - United States (Texas)

Today, the highlight of my day was learning how to drain my dog's anal glands. FML

#15697918
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27106) - you deserved it (4275)

On 04/08/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by tbright010 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML

#15621485
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55751) - you deserved it (4386)

On 04/03/2011 at 1:55pm - intimacy - by Hanna (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

#15619603
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73010) - you deserved it (5899)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was out enjoying my daily jog, when out of nowhere, a group of kids in a passing car pelted me with ketchup-filled water balloons. FML

#15589666
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43403) - you deserved it (4074)

On 04/01/2011 at 2:16pm - misc - by Natalie - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: