Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, while in line at the waterpark, I looked down to find my 3 year old daughter chewing on a used band-aid. FML

#11056176
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35754) - you deserved it (6515)

On 06/08/2010 at 12:07pm - kids - by sarahfromthesouth - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend started to plan our wedding. He included a clown. FML

#11027844
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30293) - you deserved it (7200)

On 06/07/2010 at 2:43am - love - by soccerbooty - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML

#10975690
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60942) - you deserved it (7587)

On 06/04/2010 at 10:03pm - love - by weirdesout - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my sister has a nickname for me due to my recent breakouts. It's "volcano face". FML

#10973475
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24081) - you deserved it (4180)

On 06/04/2010 at 8:07pm - misc - by morgan_love11 - United States (Texas)

Today, a four pound can of tuna fell on my head at work, and it burst all over my clothes. Since I'm the manager, I had to stay all day reeking of tuna. Now I'm home, my damn cat won't leave me alone. FML

#10855287
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24773) - you deserved it (3601)

On 05/30/2010 at 1:12am - animals - by Alpheas - United States (Texas)

Today, a few friends and I ran through sprinklers at our school until we were all soaked. Then we were told that they put fertilizer in the water. I'm soaked in manure. Now I know why it tasted weird. FML

#10777630
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9503) - you deserved it (34292)

On 05/26/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by noraidk - United States (Texas)

Today, I fell down the stairs carrying a huge TV. Don't worry, my body cushioned the TV's fall. FML

#10774629
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27102) - you deserved it (4199)

On 05/26/2010 at 10:21am - misc - by hatestomove - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

#10772340
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13220) - you deserved it (29703)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:17am - health - by kaylajere - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned my boyfriend has another girlfriend. His excuse is he's bipolar and each of his personalities needs a girlfriend. FML

#10642030
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38348) - you deserved it (4429)

On 05/20/2010 at 1:12am - love - by life sucks - United States (Texas)

Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My cell phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML

#10516903
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8042) - you deserved it (27834)

On 05/13/2010 at 10:11pm - misc - by BigMouth McRedface (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my son's phone bill (the phone I got him to call us from college). I found out he's been calling a phone sex hotline everyday. He hasn't called us once. FML

#9796070
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31850) - you deserved it (7413)

On 04/11/2010 at 2:34am - intimacy - by dannytriplet - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally realized that the only time my mother talks to me is when she needs money. FML

#9177889
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24409) - you deserved it (2518)

On 03/18/2010 at 1:18am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of more than two years told me in front of all of our friends that he'd trade me for some Playstation 3 games. I laughed it off because I thought he was kidding. He made it clear that he was serious. FML

#9153191
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27147) - you deserved it (3616)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:05am - love - by Girl (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: