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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I got a job in my university library. My job title is technical services. My actual job is pulling off the book label for the scanner and putting a new one on. For six hours a day. FML

#13325308
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19808) - you deserved it (4116)

On 10/05/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by danrocketman - United States (Texas)

Today, I was tossing my car keys into the air and catching them. I threw them up really high, only to have them land in the branches of the palm tree outside my door, at the very top. FML

#13310040
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6439) - you deserved it (42486)

On 10/03/2010 at 10:10pm - misc - by 2234 - United States (Texas)

Today, I really had to pee so I took the only stall that was available in the bathroom: the handicapped stall. A girl in a wheelchair came in seconds later and cursed at me for taking her designated spot. FML

#13304780
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25889) - you deserved it (7228)

On 10/03/2010 at 2:50pm - misc - by Kasnt - United States (Texas)

Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML

#13291298
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27167) - you deserved it (3856)

On 10/02/2010 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML

#13283938
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9135) - you deserved it (35515)

On 10/02/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the cracks. I quickly looked away, and about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML

#13202314
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33035) - you deserved it (2494)

On 09/25/2010 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

#13198134
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33018) - you deserved it (3828)

On 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm - misc - by huj - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving through my neighborhood when I heard a siren. I looked into my rear view mirror and saw a motorcycle, so I pulled over. The motorcycle drove by, and it turned out to be an old lady with a leather jacket. The siren was in a song on the radio. FML

#13163125
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7377) - you deserved it (23929)

On 09/22/2010 at 10:29pm - misc - by joshualover (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to use my driver's license to convince the security guard at a game room that I was a girl. FML

#13118353
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27483) - you deserved it (4598)

On 09/19/2010 at 7:55pm - health - by keenan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I crawled into bed naked, wanting to get some and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass and said 'oh' then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

#13069724
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31745) - you deserved it (5410)

On 09/16/2010 at 1:13am - intimacy - by bonesniffer (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML

#13064737
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21055) - you deserved it (11671)

On 09/15/2010 at 7:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML

#13036561
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20198) - you deserved it (11392)

On 09/13/2010 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband won't talk to me because he got mad when I asked him what he thought about 'that lame performance last night'. He doesn't believe that I really was talking about football. FML

#13033071
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26645) - you deserved it (7668)

On 09/13/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by GonnaBeLonley2night - United States (Texas)



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