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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41473) - you deserved it (10347)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML

#17267677
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32725) - you deserved it (18927)

On 07/26/2011 at 1:07pm - misc - by frankkathy - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML

#17250020
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30625) - you deserved it (9595)

On 07/25/2011 at 2:43am - intimacy - by best_friend - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

#17213168
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12240) - you deserved it (102277)

On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after spending time with my daughter and painting her nails she gives me a hug and says, "Mommy I love you, but I love daddy much better!" FML

#17190243
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36168) - you deserved it (4382)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:37pm - kids - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet shih tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML

#17164804
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33462) - you deserved it (2823)

On 07/18/2011 at 3:40pm - work - by StudMuffinette (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister found out she contracted ringworm and scabies from her best friend's rescued kittens. The entire family now has to be treated to prevent it from spreading. There are 7 people in our house and none of us have health insurance. FML

#17152601
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32326) - you deserved it (15090)

On 07/17/2011 at 6:57pm - health - by cderr (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I Googled my ex-husband only to find that in the years since we've split he now fancies himself as a stand-up comic. His material? Our sex life. FML

#17143306
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40469) - you deserved it (9047)

On 07/17/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by it_IS_just_me (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home to my mom dancing the hustle naked. With a group of 4 friends. FML

#17117147
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42095) - you deserved it (3753)

On 07/15/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by SCREWED (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59522) - you deserved it (9854)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML

#17092208
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34004) - you deserved it (3088)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by butimarealbear (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my boyfriend can name each and every Pokémon, but can't remember my birthday. FML

#17090156
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39531) - you deserved it (9123)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:47am - love - by Ignored - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
524 comments

I agree, your life sucks (146506) - you deserved it (8359)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)



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