Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I texted my dad and told him I was getting married in five months. His reply: "I gotta work that day." FML

#13636513
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27828) - you deserved it (3243)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:02am - misc - by Kristinmarsh08 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend was seated in my section at work. As he sees me his face drops... he's on a date. He had forgotten I work there. I had to serve him and his date, and they didn't leave a tip. FML

#13621862
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43726) - you deserved it (3039)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:27am - love - by heshay - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

#13592451
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40407) - you deserved it (3873)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:09pm - animals - by sly - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor's for the third time in a week for a huge growth under my jaw. I have seen an urgent care doctor, an emergency room doctor and an ear, nose and throat specialist who all gave me different diagnoses. I've so far spent $300. FML

#13520116
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21985) - you deserved it (2491)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:41am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found myself crying in the bathroom because I started to feel lonely and depressed. My mother came into the bathroom, hearing me cry and gave me an hour long speech about what a beautiful human being I am... And to not forget to lose weight. FML

#13511696
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24889) - you deserved it (4975)

On 10/19/2010 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a guy asked for my number. He used the rather annoying "You know, this iPhone has everything... but you know the only thing that's missing is your number." I might have given it to him, if he did have the iPhone, not the makeshift box of Mini Wheat Thins he had in his hand. FML

#13502954
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20513) - you deserved it (5193)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of two years told his friend that he decided a long time ago that he would never be faithful to a woman. I was sitting next to him. FML

#13496771
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27528) - you deserved it (2915)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:23am - love - by sugar - United States (Texas)

Today, my best friend was doing my hair. She got frustrated and exclaimed, "It won't stay!" I replied with, "Just like your mom!" It was then that I remembered her mom had just left her dad and moved out of the house to be with someone else. FML

#13485741
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8128) - you deserved it (51498)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Nobody - United States (Texas)

Today, I waited in line at Subway. There were two people in front of me. The first lady had seven sandwiches and the second lady had four. So after patiently waiting, I ordered my sandwich, only to have my credit card declined. FML

#13453945
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21275) - you deserved it (10649)

On 10/15/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by bcf1234 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I went out for ice cream. We somehow started talking about which of our relatives had died. Right when she was talking about how her grandfather had died, I started laughing. She had gotten ice cream all over her face. She broke up with me. FML

#13431152
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9632) - you deserved it (34651)

On 10/13/2010 at 5:02am - love - by your mother (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

#13426894
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5685) - you deserved it (58904)

On 10/12/2010 at 10:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me it wasn't working out and he was breaking up with me. The reason? I have the same first and last name as a very unpopular girl, and he gets embarrassed when people mistakenly assume he's going out with her. FML

#13379120
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31118) - you deserved it (2879)

On 10/09/2010 at 2:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML

#13338032
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10722) - you deserved it (51132)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:37am - love - by crucets (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: