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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

#16577397
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37212) - you deserved it (6705)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

#16571694
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32356) - you deserved it (5736)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)

Today, after being laid off for over a year, I got turned down for an unpaid internship. I can't even get people to let me work for free. FML

#16561616
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31225) - you deserved it (3240)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML

#16558190
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35521) - you deserved it (8360)

On 06/08/2011 at 2:55am - love - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

#16541898
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49148) - you deserved it (12452)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that if your boss deletes you off Facebook, it's probably not a good sign. FML

#16541885
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31289) - you deserved it (4201)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:48am - work - by IloveMaroon5 - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a long and heartfelt message. He responded with "tl; dr". FML

#16540181
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28735) - you deserved it (6357)

On 06/07/2011 at 12:43am - love - by Maddie110110 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend telling me he still likes me and might love me too. Later I asked him if he really meant it and his response was "I don't know. I was high." FML

#16523856
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34977) - you deserved it (4893)

On 06/06/2011 at 1:22am - love - by K123 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while driving with my three year old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML

#16520207
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32234) - you deserved it (4328)

On 06/05/2011 at 9:44pm - kids - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12019) - you deserved it (125861)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

#16510202
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43730) - you deserved it (8501)

On 06/05/2011 at 2:48am - intimacy - by e_edge (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML

#16498430
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28115) - you deserved it (2686)

On 06/04/2011 at 12:41pm - misc - by TMI - United States (Texas)

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47181) - you deserved it (3496)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)



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