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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML

#14129951
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47993) - you deserved it (5587)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:34am - intimacy - by fme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while walking past a homeless man, I heard him comment on the woman in front of me saying, "I should come to this side of town more often, there's some hotties here." Then he saw me and said, "Wait, no, I think I'll stay on the other side of town." FML

#14124192
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24760) - you deserved it (3478)

On 12/07/2010 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

#14120118
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12314) - you deserved it (81549)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML

#14091137
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31564) - you deserved it (7989)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother changed the password on my laptop so that I can't log into my profile. All my notes for school are on it and finals start on Monday. Guess who can't remember the new password. FML

#14080248
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32795) - you deserved it (3388)

On 12/04/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I are divorcing because HE had an affair. He now wants a paternity test. FML

#14024003
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31160) - you deserved it (3117)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:20pm - kids - by preggers - United States (Texas)

Today, after having a long and serious talk about maybe having a relationship, the guy I really like told me to send him a "sexy picture." I sent him a picture of me in a bra and a thong. He replied, "Yeah, you're hot!" and signed off after ten minutes of silence. I haven't heard from him since. FML

#13991826
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8920) - you deserved it (40764)

On 11/26/2010 at 9:30pm - love - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was making love to my fiancé, his mom walked out of the hotel bathroom and sat in a chair less than two feet away from the bed. She made idle conversation with us for the next 15 minutes. My fiancé was still inside me the entire time. FML

#13990744
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32715) - you deserved it (7039)

On 11/26/2010 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Interrupted - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered my parents took me to a specialist when I was a baby because they thought I had a facial deformity. It turns out I'm just ugly. FML

#13990251
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33734) - you deserved it (2691)

On 11/26/2010 at 7:23pm - misc - by bleh (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after weeks of my girlfriend telling me to be romantic, I decided to make a romantic bath for us, complete with oil bath beads. After we get ready to take the bath, she puts her hand in the water and says she won't get it because 'it feels slimy'. I enjoyed a romantic bath alone. FML

#13978523
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25958) - you deserved it (3464)

On 11/25/2010 at 7:55pm - love - by TheCrackerNinja - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to get my license. To get that, I needed to show proof of school enrollment. I graduated early, so they told me to get a copy of my diploma. I went to school, and they told me that I would need a valid driver's license to access my diploma. FML

Today, I got an electric razor and a lesson from my dad on how to shave my mustache and chin. I also got my period. FML

#13906340
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37955) - you deserved it (3976)

On 11/20/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Tasha84 - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what celebrity I look like. He thought long and hard, then said "Sarah Jessica Parker." I gasped and told him that I find her extremely hideous. He replied "So do I." FML

#13879750
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30640) - you deserved it (7942)

On 11/17/2010 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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