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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I put up an ad on Craig's List to find a best friend. I don't know what's more pathetic: looking for a best friend online, or the ad being removed almost instantly. FML

#14960635
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11140) - you deserved it (26722)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:06pm - misc - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to my truck with no clothes on, he is my baseball coach and I will be seeing him on Monday. FML

#14944221
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32966) - you deserved it (19853)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:59am - intimacy - by Keith walk - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again. But I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out". My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML

#14943630
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55329) - you deserved it (4263)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom left me at home with a babysitter. I'm 17. FML

#14941696
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35822) - you deserved it (4949)

On 02/11/2011 at 10:10pm - misc - by allgrowedup - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that ham is part of a pig, and not a completely different animal. I'm eighteen. FML

#14924487
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7390) - you deserved it (57183)

On 02/10/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by acab93 - United States (Texas)

Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer had kept my I.D by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML

#14914923
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24574) - you deserved it (3607)

On 02/09/2011 at 9:48pm - misc - by Username (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I logged onto a website that offered free tutoring. After chatting with the online tutor, he started flirting with me. I was just looking for some help with my homework, not a creeper. FML

#14876662
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24374) - you deserved it (5624)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Chasity (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband sent an email invite to his family about our daughter's upcoming birthday. Upon reading the email, his aunt clicked "reply all" while emailing her husband and said, "I'd rather say we're out of town than see that dumb bitch our nephew calls his wife." FML

#14841865
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36390) - you deserved it (3779)

On 02/04/2011 at 5:43pm - misc - by smbcolorado - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally got up the nerve to invite the guy I like to hang out at my house. It was also the day my mother decided that our house is a "pants optional zone," and that she should implement that policy immediately. While he was at our house. FML

#14802343
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24996) - you deserved it (2527)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and left me crying in the street. I then got a text from my mom saying how pathetic my love life was. Apparently, it was a mass text message and she accidentally added me to the list. FML

#14792881
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27392) - you deserved it (2756)

On 02/01/2011 at 12:24am - misc - by isystuff (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a cop pulled me over because there was a sign hidden behind a tree that said "No left turn". As I was getting my ticket, I watched as three cars turned left. The cop saw them, laughed, and said, "I guess you're the unlucky one." FML

#14764680
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38999) - you deserved it (3266)

On 01/29/2011 at 9:20pm - misc - by copper - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a power lifting meet when a girl I really liked walked in. Trying to impress her, I increased my bench to 350, when I have only done 300 before. She then watched me drop it on my chest, breaking my breast bone, and also crying in the process. FML

#14763055
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11650) - you deserved it (64430)

On 01/29/2011 at 7:35pm - love - by wowimdumb (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents, not trusting me and my boyfriend, told us to call them in the middle of our movie so they could hear it, and prove we weren't up to no good. Well, I called. Just as a raging sex scene started. FML

#14709189
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31945) - you deserved it (11082)

On 01/25/2011 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by totallyscrewedomg - United States (Texas)



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