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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I got home from work to find an eviction notice taped to my door, stating that I was a nuisance and had 30 days to vacate the property. I live at home with my parents. FML

#14202478
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24943) - you deserved it (8095)

On 12/14/2010 at 1:41pm - misc - by homeless (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from a restricted number. When I answered, it was a prank call. The kids on the other end had porn on high volume and put the phone next to the speaker. Way to remind me that I'm still a virgin. FML

#14199734
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27705) - you deserved it (6969)

On 12/14/2010 at 6:00am - intimacy - by virginat16 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML

#14194626
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27607) - you deserved it (2764)

On 12/13/2010 at 8:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my family and I went Christmas tree shopping. My husband and I were walking around when I saw the perfect tree. Excited, we immediately bought it. When we got home and set it up, I realized it came with a present: termites. FML

#14167413
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27776) - you deserved it (4470)

On 12/11/2010 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband ran at me, groaning like a zombie. I was so startled that I screamed, punched him, and started sobbing. Now he won't talk to me because this is 'the first step on the road of domestic violence'. FML

#14142147
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27263) - you deserved it (10430)

On 12/09/2010 at 12:15pm - love - by katy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML

#14129951
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48042) - you deserved it (5593)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:34am - intimacy - by fme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while walking past a homeless man, I heard him comment on the woman in front of me saying, "I should come to this side of town more often, there's some hotties here." Then he saw me and said, "Wait, no, I think I'll stay on the other side of town." FML

#14124192
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24788) - you deserved it (3482)

On 12/07/2010 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

#14120118
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12342) - you deserved it (81595)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML

#14091137
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31610) - you deserved it (7993)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother changed the password on my laptop so that I can't log into my profile. All my notes for school are on it and finals start on Monday. Guess who can't remember the new password. FML

#14080248
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33514) - you deserved it (3447)

On 12/04/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I are divorcing because HE had an affair. He now wants a paternity test. FML

#14024003
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31205) - you deserved it (3118)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:20pm - kids - by preggers - United States (Texas)

Today, after having a long and serious talk about maybe having a relationship, the guy I really like told me to send him a "sexy picture." I sent him a picture of me in a bra and a thong. He replied, "Yeah, you're hot!" and signed off after ten minutes of silence. I haven't heard from him since. FML

#13991826
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8929) - you deserved it (40784)

On 11/26/2010 at 9:30pm - love - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was making love to my fiancé, his mom walked out of the hotel bathroom and sat in a chair less than two feet away from the bed. She made idle conversation with us for the next 15 minutes. My fiancé was still inside me the entire time. FML

#13990744
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32754) - you deserved it (7042)

On 11/26/2010 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Interrupted - United States (Texas)



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