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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I got an electric razor and a lesson from my dad on how to shave my mustache and chin. I also got my period. FML

#13906340
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37911) - you deserved it (3976)

On 11/20/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Tasha84 - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what celebrity I look like. He thought long and hard, then said "Sarah Jessica Parker." I gasped and told him that I find her extremely hideous. He replied "So do I." FML

#13879750
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30596) - you deserved it (7932)

On 11/17/2010 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I changed my phone number because my old one belonged to a prostitute. My new one belongs to a debtor. FML

#13835312
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24698) - you deserved it (2551)

On 11/14/2010 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me I was the only girl he'd ever text, call, or flirt with again. Later on he told two other girls exactly the same thing on Facebook, not realizing that everybody can read wall messages. FML

#13829290
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29332) - you deserved it (3224)

On 11/13/2010 at 4:45pm - love - by girlwithaprob (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a restraining order from a girl I have never met. FML

#13808592
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34225) - you deserved it (3236)

On 11/11/2010 at 10:55pm - misc - by Bob - United States (Texas)

Today, my family and I were watching Mulan, and I mentioned that I've always had a crush on Shang. After going into detail about how I would "marry his sexy voice" I decided to look up this mystery dream man. To my surprise he was played by Donny Osmond. I will never live this down. FML

#13807463
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7915) - you deserved it (22553)

On 11/11/2010 at 9:40pm - misc - by hot4donny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my apartment building shut off our water for a short period of time because the pipes were being worked on. It was also the morning my dog had diarrhea on my cream carpet. Not only did I have to clean it up without water, I couldn't wash my hands afterward. FML

#13801774
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26927) - you deserved it (2985)

On 11/11/2010 at 1:02pm - animals - by jordanss - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss was watching taser pranks online, when he said he was going to "get me". We often take turns playing pranks on each other, and I was the last to prank him. Now I'm terrified to move or turn my back on anything other than a wall at work. FML

#13801647
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18095) - you deserved it (7827)

On 11/11/2010 at 12:46pm - work - by MrsKSB - United States (Texas)

Today, I complained to my boss about how my printer wasn't printing colored ink even though I had just installed a new cartridge yesterday. Upon investigation, she noted that I forgot to take off the protection sticker from the cartridge. Good job. FML

#13793318
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5408) - you deserved it (24940)

On 11/10/2010 at 7:26pm - work - by MrandMrsRendon20 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was writing my narrative essay for my English class. When I turned it in, I was really proud of what I thought I wrote. Evidently for some people listening to music while writing essays is a bad thing. My essay was filled with little bits of ZZ Top lyrics. FML

#13784109
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6351) - you deserved it (29530)

On 11/09/2010 at 11:00pm - work - by hwscrewed - United States (Texas)

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20159) - you deserved it (59020)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a drive with my girlfriend when we went past a 'Dead End' sign. She pointed to it and said it was "Foreshadowing our relationship". FML

#13754319
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29159) - you deserved it (3041)

On 11/07/2010 at 4:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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