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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I walked out of my house, waved at my neighbors, walked through my front yard and into the side yard to turn off the sprinkler. It wasn't until I was back into the house that I remembered I wasn't wearing a top. FML

#16066360
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15767) - you deserved it (48362)

On 05/06/2011 at 10:07am - intimacy - by eringoBRA (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while working at a sandwich shop, we had a shortage and could only put so many veggies on one sandwich. I explained this to one man who was grumpy about it, but kept on ordering. I thought everything went well. He thought my face was a good target to launch his completed sandwich at. FML

#16053522
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30609) - you deserved it (3198)

On 05/05/2011 at 3:13am - work - by epicsandwichartist (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

#16051471
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37162) - you deserved it (4503)

On 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Charlie (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while handing out business cards to promote my new dog grooming business, I stopped to talk to a potential client. She let me get all the way through my 15 minute speech, before bothering to tell me she didn't have a dog. FML

#16019409
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24703) - you deserved it (11993)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:02pm - animals - by Asirual - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

#16016488
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9476) - you deserved it (57503)

On 05/02/2011 at 5:33am - misc - by Burnt (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML

#16002585
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52702) - you deserved it (5051)

On 05/01/2011 at 10:30am - intimacy - by nothanks - United States (Texas)

Today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My husband, the father of the baby, got a birdie on the golf course at the exact same time. FML

#15948612
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43785) - you deserved it (5188)

On 04/27/2011 at 1:07pm - love - by Sammy - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to find a parking ticket on my car. My car was in my driveway and the cop who wrote it is my ex-boyfriend. This is the third time. FML

#15914349
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42076) - you deserved it (6259)

On 04/25/2011 at 12:24am - misc - by neverdatingacopagain (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog ate a $2,000 check. My credit card bill gets taken out of my bank account tomorrow. FML

#15812903
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32375) - you deserved it (9329)

On 04/16/2011 at 9:06pm - money - by TDCC (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

#15811020
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29056) - you deserved it (7951)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:20pm - health - by overflowing - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML

#15809243
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41418) - you deserved it (4252)

On 04/16/2011 at 3:18pm - love - by ColdHeat (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML

#15741479
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45626) - you deserved it (6528)

On 04/11/2011 at 3:27pm - intimacy - by Numb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my head has been killing me. I've had the worst headache ever. Happy that I could finally sleep, I plopped onto my bed and bashed my head on the wall. FML

#15720068
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26143) - you deserved it (9807)

On 04/10/2011 at 2:50am - misc - by Monique - United States (Texas)



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