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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I logged onto a website that offered free tutoring. After chatting with the online tutor, he started flirting with me. I was just looking for some help with my homework, not a creeper. FML

#14876662
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24341) - you deserved it (5619)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Chasity (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband sent an email invite to his family about our daughter's upcoming birthday. Upon reading the email, his aunt clicked "reply all" while emailing her husband and said, "I'd rather say we're out of town than see that dumb bitch our nephew calls his wife." FML

#14841865
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35252) - you deserved it (3655)

On 02/04/2011 at 5:43pm - misc - by smbcolorado - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally got up the nerve to invite the guy I like to hang out at my house. It was also the day my mother decided that our house is a "pants optional zone," and that she should implement that policy immediately. While he was at our house. FML

#14802343
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24969) - you deserved it (2526)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and left me crying in the street. I then got a text from my mom saying how pathetic my love life was. Apparently, it was a mass text message and she accidentally added me to the list. FML

#14792881
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27364) - you deserved it (2753)

On 02/01/2011 at 12:24am - misc - by isystuff (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a cop pulled me over because there was a sign hidden behind a tree that said "No left turn". As I was getting my ticket, I watched as three cars turned left. The cop saw them, laughed, and said, "I guess you're the unlucky one." FML

#14764680
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38957) - you deserved it (3266)

On 01/29/2011 at 9:20pm - misc - by copper - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a power lifting meet when a girl I really liked walked in. Trying to impress her, I increased my bench to 350, when I have only done 300 before. She then watched me drop it on my chest, breaking my breast bone, and also crying in the process. FML

#14763055
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11638) - you deserved it (64382)

On 01/29/2011 at 7:35pm - love - by wowimdumb (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents, not trusting me and my boyfriend, told us to call them in the middle of our movie so they could hear it, and prove we weren't up to no good. Well, I called. Just as a raging sex scene started. FML

#14709189
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31914) - you deserved it (11075)

On 01/25/2011 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by totallyscrewedomg - United States (Texas)

Today, my apartment got robbed. My 'book-in-progress' should keep them company. FML

#14703374
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20564) - you deserved it (2300)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:18pm - misc - by brokenhome - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

#14700960
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20316) - you deserved it (3821)

On 01/24/2011 at 7:30pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I treated myself to a cheeseburger. I left it on my coffee table while I grabbed a napkin from the kitchen. While I was gone my dog ate it. Then puked it up all over my carpet. Which I then had to clean up. FML

#14658827
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20803) - you deserved it (12540)

On 01/21/2011 at 3:35am - animals - by twinkie2 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came to school really sick because I had to take an important exam. After I finally finished, I accidentally sneezed on my answer sheet right before turning it in. The teacher refused to take it. FML

#14646184
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26021) - you deserved it (3813)

On 01/20/2011 at 12:47am - health - by sickly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I drove to buy new sneakers to work out and lose weight. Coming out of the store, I saw someone had parked too close to me. I had to beg a stranger to back my car out for me, because no matter how I tried, I couldn't get into the driver's seat. FML

#14634779
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23812) - you deserved it (9456)

On 01/19/2011 at 1:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to blow my nose. Trying to be a considerate roommate, I tiptoed over to the bathroom in the dark, which would have been fine, if I hadn't tripped over a chair and crushed the art project that she's been working on for the past month. FML

#14622379
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26481) - you deserved it (7527)

On 01/18/2011 at 2:05am - misc - by mel - United States (Texas)



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