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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I found out that if your boss deletes you off Facebook, it's probably not a good sign. FML

#16541885
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30915) - you deserved it (4157)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:48am - work - by IloveMaroon5 - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a long and heartfelt message. He responded with "tl; dr". FML

#16540181
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27302) - you deserved it (6170)

On 06/07/2011 at 12:43am - love - by Maddie110110 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend telling me he still likes me and might love me too. Later I asked him if he really meant it and his response was "I don't know. I was high." FML

#16523856
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34932) - you deserved it (4887)

On 06/06/2011 at 1:22am - love - by K123 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while driving with my three year old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML

#16520207
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31380) - you deserved it (4237)

On 06/05/2011 at 9:44pm - kids - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11631) - you deserved it (118365)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

#16510202
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43693) - you deserved it (8497)

On 06/05/2011 at 2:48am - intimacy - by e_edge (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML

#16498430
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26450) - you deserved it (2568)

On 06/04/2011 at 12:41pm - misc - by TMI - United States (Texas)

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44276) - you deserved it (3283)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML

#16479065
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26900) - you deserved it (3130)

On 06/03/2011 at 2:25am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

#16378001
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39619) - you deserved it (17320)

On 05/27/2011 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by valerie - United States (Texas)

Today, my genius boyfriend was trying to remember a particular island in the Caribbean that was used by pirates in the past. I offered up Morocco. I heard him facepalm over the phone. FML

#16367949
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7827) - you deserved it (49580)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - love - by Derp-A-Herp (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my ex husband is marrying my sister. FML

#16279756
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100743) - you deserved it (6758)

On 05/21/2011 at 11:31am - love - by uetlqdja - United States (Texas)

Today, while trying to sneak out of my house to go to a party I met my mom trying to sneak back in. FML



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