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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML

#15352953
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27101) - you deserved it (6557)

On 03/17/2011 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was excited to have a window seat on my three hour flight to New York. When I got to my row, I noticed the screaming newborn occupying the seat in front of me, and a pair of toddlers behind me. I then looked to my seat to find I have no window. FML

#15351755
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30857) - you deserved it (3356)

On 03/17/2011 at 12:56pm - misc - by lalalalalala - United States (Texas)

Today, while practicing my gymnastics routine on the uneven bars, I was so distracted by my teammates' conversation about a party later that I miscalculated my flip and smacked my head on a bar. Ten stitches and a concussion later, I was left alone in the hospital. FML

#15302298
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26700) - you deserved it (14117)

On 03/14/2011 at 12:49am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to wait an hour in the awful rain for my mom to pick me up, because she didn't realize the clocks had gone forward already. FML

#15295862
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31674) - you deserved it (3852)

On 03/13/2011 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML

#15252423
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43553) - you deserved it (4206)

On 03/09/2011 at 5:27pm - love - by drebel (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost my cat. It's deaf, so no matter what I do it can't hear me. FML

#15251582
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40724) - you deserved it (4405)

On 03/09/2011 at 3:03pm - animals - by blahhlovely_30 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

#15227856
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40032) - you deserved it (3891)

On 03/07/2011 at 8:47am - kids - by fourfootnine (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40821) - you deserved it (3324)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)

Today, I got rejected by two different guys. One was my ex-boyfriend who said he wanted to keep our friendship, and the other was a guy I went on a date with who faked a European accent the whole time during our date despite him being born and raised in Texas. FML

#15183035
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26234) - you deserved it (6102)

On 03/03/2011 at 2:24am - love - by Apparentlycreepy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

#15162100
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13461) - you deserved it (40693)

On 03/01/2011 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML

#15051714
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47633) - you deserved it (18663)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Infected (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

#15038049
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33567) - you deserved it (6723)

On 02/19/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

#15036235
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28713) - you deserved it (8033)

On 02/19/2011 at 2:20am - love - by PlayboyBunny (woman) - United States (Texas)



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