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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, my girlfriend decided that we won't be having any more sex until I beat her ridiculously high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21141738
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53709) - you deserved it (7555)

On 05/16/2014 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by (not) fucked - United States (Texas)

Today, me and the guy I was dating ran into my sister at the mall. He took one look at her and mumbled, "Great, I chose the ugly one" under his breath. FML

#21137666
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58577) - you deserved it (5681)

On 05/12/2014 at 12:01pm - love - by bambam - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom made a Facebook post about me starting my period and for everyone to be nice to me. FML

#21135508
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51619) - you deserved it (4502)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by ColoredPencil13 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents decided to get with the times. So far, they've made me get Snapchat and Instagram accounts, and made me add them on Facebook. They keep acting like annoying teenagers, and get mad at me when I don't play along. For the love of god, somebody save me. FML

#21134960
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43777) - you deserved it (4967)

On 05/09/2014 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anais Strongrump III Jr. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my four year old son came into the restroom while I was applying my make-up, and asked me "Mommy, are you putting on make-up so that someone will love you?" FML

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she's been sleeping with him. FML

#21126504
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54203) - you deserved it (3351)

On 04/29/2014 at 6:40pm - love - by loserman - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my son to go to the grocery store across the street and pick up some lettuce. He sighed and said, "Why don't you just order it on Amazon?" FML

#21124599
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42151) - you deserved it (6659)

On 04/27/2014 at 7:01pm - kids - by nh-Amazon - United States (Texas)

Today, I waited two hours in line at college to select my classes. I finally got to the desk, only to be told I have to apply online before I can show up in person. FML

#21122928
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35576) - you deserved it (9044)

On 04/25/2014 at 6:59pm - misc - by firelava (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25436) - you deserved it (43114)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

#21115090
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50182) - you deserved it (4224)

On 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by exasperated (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

#21107985
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63310) - you deserved it (5836)

On 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm - misc - by Great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML

#21105190
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41546) - you deserved it (12882)

On 04/05/2014 at 1:48pm - work - by =( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I have pink eye. Four weeks ago I had scabies. I'm an elementary school teacher, and I'm apparently under attack from biological weapons: my students. FML

#21102371
94 comments


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