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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43933) - you deserved it (5278)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a whistle key finder from my grandma for Christmas. This would have been nice if I could actually whistle. FML

#21005460
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28587) - you deserved it (4425)

On 12/25/2013 at 9:07pm - misc - by princesss_14 - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized there is nothing quite like having your mother be too hungover to open presents on Christmas morning. FML

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

#20996147
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45910) - you deserved it (3387)

On 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by gymgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, my OCD has got so bad that I took over 10 pictures of my house's power outlets before leaving, just so I could view them later to reassure myself that no appliances were plugged in. FML

Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML

#20993307
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42560) - you deserved it (6193)

On 12/15/2013 at 11:58am - animals - by Cat Piss - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss found out that my girlfriend dumped me. He asked if that meant she would no longer bring her delicious homemade cookies to the office. When I said yes, he fired me on the spot. FML

#20990683
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47022) - you deserved it (2981)

On 12/12/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by justin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my husband it would be great to spend an evening with a bottle of wine and a pile of blankets on the balcony of our cabin during the cruise. He decided it would be great to ditch me and go out gambling. FML

#20988964
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43685) - you deserved it (5488)

On 12/11/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Neglected (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML

#20984257
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48301) - you deserved it (4525)

On 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by bella - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

#20981890
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38619) - you deserved it (21444)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out who's been stealing clothes from me during swim practice. She called me a liar, despite wearing one of my sweaters, which has my initials stitched into it. FML

#20980543
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43017) - you deserved it (2390)

On 12/04/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm not getting paid 400$ per month because I failed my Russian language proficiency test. Russian is my first language. FML

#20980385
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36598) - you deserved it (14954)

On 12/04/2013 at 11:24am - work - by russianfail - United States (Texas)



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