Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18281) - you deserved it (2450)
On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5960) - you deserved it (8002)
On 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by IndianAngel96 - United States (Texas)
Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17444) - you deserved it (1501)
On 10/29/2012 at 6:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22791) - you deserved it (951)
On 10/22/2012 at 11:51pm - work - by bad samaritan (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17727) - you deserved it (4044)
On 10/13/2012 at 2:35am - animals - by afraidtosleep - United States (Texas)
Today, I was kicked out of a job interview at a clothing store for "not dressing appropriately" for the occasion. I'd purchased my outfit from the same store just two days prior with my last $100. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16043) - you deserved it (3430)
On 10/12/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by ClothesHorse (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12428) - you deserved it (1647)
On 10/11/2012 at 1:08am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14894) - you deserved it (1323)
On 10/01/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Prae - United States (Texas)
Today, my mother texted me that she was in labor. She never told me she was pregnant. Apparently she's engaged too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18736) - you deserved it (193)
On 09/27/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Texas)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13876) - you deserved it (2278)
On 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by wickedbeauty333 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12966) - you deserved it (5948)
On 09/22/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17586) - you deserved it (1537)
On 09/18/2012 at 7:56am - misc - by raesos91 - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home from work to be given $1 by my mother. This normally would have been nice, had my mother not said, "I just sold that ugly old black and white picture frame you always leave lying around in your room." Which also would have been nice if that "frame" wasn't my Kindle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28039) - you deserved it (1266)
On 09/12/2012 at 4:44am - money - by humorizer - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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