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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I dreamed that I cheated on my boyfriend. I was so overwhelmed with guilt that I called him while half-asleep to tell him about it and apologize. I'm fully awake now and he doesn't believe it was really a dream. FML

#21336949
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32916) - you deserved it (7690)

On 01/14/2015 at 12:35pm - love - by ihateeverything (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found my intoxicated step-father in our back yard trying to domesticate a stray opossum, attempting to give it steak and malt liquor. FML

#21334215
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26337) - you deserved it (1922)

On 01/09/2015 at 10:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to sext before going to sleep. It was very late, but I said I'd stay up for him. He sent a text asking me if I was ready. Me replying "yes" was the last thing I remember before I fell asleep on my horny boyfriend. FML

#21334154
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29139) - you deserved it (8918)

On 01/09/2015 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, our band had a road trip. Two people chose to stack themselves on top of each other to share a seat rather than sit in the last seat next to me. FML

#21326846
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27436) - you deserved it (2757)

On 12/29/2014 at 11:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML

#21325871
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40365) - you deserved it (2988)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying "Hey there." She quickly replied, assuring me that she's not cheating on me. Uh, okay. FML

#21325320
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32668) - you deserved it (2623)

On 12/27/2014 at 2:14pm - love - by is_that_right (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at a Christmas party, a cute girl was making a show of standing under some mistletoe. As I walked over, she quickly moved away in the opposite direction. FML

#21324253
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28562) - you deserved it (3506)

On 12/25/2014 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the kid who who lives next door and shares a bedroom wall with me got a drum set for Christmas. FML

#21323929
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31175) - you deserved it (2360)

On 12/25/2014 at 11:36am - kids - by BowTiesAr3Cool - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss sent me a text message saying, "You're fired. Merry Christmas!" FML

#21323895
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31487) - you deserved it (2413)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:25am - work - by CalebNotShomo - United States (Texas)

Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML

#21322769
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28055) - you deserved it (5541)

On 12/23/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by wowdadreally (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, a customer cried because the cake I made her was not "exactly" the same as the display. I'm the one who made the display and it was the same but the display cake had faded a bit, since it had been there for a month. I'd mentioned this to the customer when she placed the order. FML

#21322284
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27546) - you deserved it (1827)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:21pm - work - by bakerysux - United States (Texas)

Today, it's the last night before a concert. Today is also the day my brother pawned my clarinet for drug money. FML

#21315391
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32947) - you deserved it (2262)

On 12/11/2014 at 12:44am - money - by noshow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my work department set a new sales record, something not done in nearly 30 years. It's corporate policy to give a bonus to each worker responsible as a reward. Our manager decided our "bonuses" would be plastic medals from Dollar Tree. He didn't even buy enough for everybody. FML

#21311945
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32392) - you deserved it (2212)

On 12/05/2014 at 10:44am - work - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)



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