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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I went to the public library for the first time ever. The librarian told me I couldn't get a library card because I had an outstanding balance of $130.00 from 1995. I was born in 1991. FML

#21204670
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46710) - you deserved it (3976)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by library book - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband came clean to having an affair with my sister. I later found out my other sister encouraged the affair because she thought they'd be a cute couple. FML

#21194001
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55110) - you deserved it (3978)

On 06/30/2014 at 5:06pm - love - by outoflove (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

#21188385
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36989) - you deserved it (25190)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Respect101 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after nearly a year of being stalked, harassed and even terrorized, the police finally found out who my stalker was. It was my 19-year-old son, who thought it would be a fun prank to pull. FML

#21185679
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46585) - you deserved it (5316)

On 06/23/2014 at 7:13pm - kids - by Anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my life is so boring that I started looking through my can of coins and sorting them out by year. The oldest coin I have is from 1963. FML

#21181414
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38212) - you deserved it (8220)

On 06/20/2014 at 1:05am - misc - by Gibbster_ (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, in a last ditch attempt to get away from my psycho coworker, I made my boss transfer me to another branch in the district. My coworker was immediately moved to that branch, because we "work well together". FML

#21176055
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45754) - you deserved it (4312)

On 06/15/2014 at 10:21pm - work - by Godhelpme (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46175) - you deserved it (22800)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my husband has a fake Facebook account that he uses to add guys and live a double life as some kind of "gamer chick". This would be disturbing enough, even if he hadn't used pictures of me to give a face to his alter ego. FML

#21173506
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39834) - you deserved it (3740)

On 06/13/2014 at 5:07pm - misc - by Little Miss Fucket (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my two cats decided to have a brawl on top of me. I was just trying to get to sleep. Now I'm covered in scratches. FML

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

#21169011
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49278) - you deserved it (5831)

On 06/09/2014 at 11:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized how bad my sex life is when I scratched a mosquito bite and almost had an orgasm. FML

#21168837
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45744) - you deserved it (8559)

On 06/09/2014 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML

#21161981
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35043) - you deserved it (4295)

On 06/03/2014 at 6:51pm - misc - by Aether - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked a student to an office on the other side of the school. I'm the kind of person who would rather make conversation than endure awkward silence, so I tried to talk to him. He just stared intently at my chest the whole time. FML



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