FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, the kid who who lives next door and shares a bedroom wall with me got a drum set for Christmas. FML

by BowTiesAr3Cool / 12/25/2014 at 11:36am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my boss sent me a text message saying, "You're fired. Merry Christmas!" FML

by CalebNotShomo / 12/25/2014 at 10:25am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML

by wowdadreally / 12/23/2014 at 3:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, a customer cried because the cake I made her was not "exactly" the same as the display. I'm the one who made the display and it was the same but the display cake had faded a bit, since it had been there for a month. I'd mentioned this to the customer when she placed the order. FML

by bakerysux / 12/22/2014 at 8:21pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, it's the last night before a concert. Today is also the day my brother pawned my clarinet for drug money. FML

by noshow / 12/11/2014 at 12:44am / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, my work department set a new sales record, something not done in nearly 30 years. It's corporate policy to give a bonus to each worker responsible as a reward. Our manager decided our "bonuses" would be plastic medals from Dollar Tree. He didn't even buy enough for everybody. FML

by anon / 12/05/2014 at 10:44am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

by WTF / 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, while walking home with my mom, some unoriginal cockshart in a passing car yelled at me: "Fuck her in the pussy!" It was a long, awkward walk home after that. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2014 at 8:38pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to a customer that 50% off a $50 item did not make the item free. FML

by idiots / 11/28/2014 at 10:36pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

by bookworm / 11/19/2014 at 3:56pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend, who I've been living with for a year, and I were moving to another state at the end of the month. I told her in a restaurant, over lunch, where she then just got up and left me there without saying a word. FML

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

by notsofriendly / 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I found a $20 bill on the ground, so I decided to pick it up. It was actually attached to a string and was meant to be a prank by some kids. They failed miserably, so I took the money. They ran up to me and punched me in the balls for taking their cash. FML

by ethawesome1125 / 11/02/2014 at 7:11pm / United States (Texas) / Money