FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, my husband came clean to having an affair with my sister. I later found out my other sister encouraged the affair because she thought they'd be a cute couple. FML

by outoflove / 06/30/2014 at 5:06pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

by Respect101 / 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, after nearly a year of being stalked, harassed and even terrorized, the police finally found out who my stalker was. It was my 19-year-old son, who thought it would be a fun prank to pull. FML

by Anon / 06/23/2014 at 7:13pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my life is so boring that I started looking through my can of coins and sorting them out by year. The oldest coin I have is from 1963. FML

by Gibbster_ / 06/20/2014 at 1:05am / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, in a last ditch attempt to get away from my psycho coworker, I made my boss transfer me to another branch in the district. My coworker was immediately moved to that branch, because we "work well together". FML

by Godhelpme / 06/15/2014 at 10:21pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm / United States (Texas) / Geek

Today, I found out my husband has a fake Facebook account that he uses to add guys and live a double life as some kind of "gamer chick". This would be disturbing enough, even if he hadn't used pictures of me to give a face to his alter ego. FML

by Little Miss Fucket / 06/13/2014 at 5:07pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my two cats decided to have a brawl on top of me. I was just trying to get to sleep. Now I'm covered in scratches. FML

by jaquie0812 / 06/12/2014 at 12:37pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2014 at 11:30pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I realized how bad my sex life is when I scratched a mosquito bite and almost had an orgasm. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2014 at 10:14pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML

by Aether / 06/03/2014 at 6:51pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked a student to an office on the other side of the school. I'm the kind of person who would rather make conversation than endure awkward silence, so I tried to talk to him. He just stared intently at my chest the whole time. FML

by Miss_Whipped / 06/02/2014 at 1:01pm / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer. We're very close, and I called my boyfriend, really needing some support. I'd barely told him what had happened, when he replied, "Babe, I'm in the middle of a game here. Call me later." FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2014 at 3:31pm / United States (Texas) / Love