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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML

#20440103
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49681) - you deserved it (4391)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after I finally laid down from a long day and was about to fall asleep, I realized I forgot to set my alarm. I don't own an alarm clock and my alarm is on my phone. Which was in my car. I live on 15th floor of an apartment building and our parking garage is across the street. FML

#20439908
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31538) - you deserved it (8978)

On 01/03/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, he got upset and accused me of making up words to make him feel stupid. All because I used the word "vapid." FML

#20414233
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25547) - you deserved it (7061)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:19pm - misc - by seriously? (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

#20411217
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32779) - you deserved it (17191)

On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33046) - you deserved it (19020)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML

#20398872
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32197) - you deserved it (2670)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:40am - health - by bloodyfreakinawful - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML

#20201801
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20768) - you deserved it (8790)

On 12/12/2012 at 11:05am - kids - by Saduglydad - United States (Texas)

Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML

#20197580
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19809) - you deserved it (9660)

On 12/09/2012 at 11:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML

#20197502
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33167) - you deserved it (3271)

On 12/09/2012 at 9:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML

#20195358
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30727) - you deserved it (22757)

On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML

#20193405
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32861) - you deserved it (3670)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)

Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML

#20186150
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23837) - you deserved it (1802)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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