Today, I was playing twister with my girlfriend at the school carnival. I jokingly squeeze her butt, only to find her mom standing right above us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9418) - you deserved it (20369)
On 10/29/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Messiahman - United States (Texas)
Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I saw an old man on his porch. Being friendly, I waved at him as I ran by. Apparently his idea of greeting someone is pelting them with stones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16180) - you deserved it (1639)
On 10/27/2011 at 4:06am - misc - by unlucky - United States (Texas)
Today, while dancing at my studio, our instructor was giving us all characters opposite of ourselves to portray in an improv solo. My friends got cool things like "creepy" and "vulnerable". I got "extremely sexy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21498) - you deserved it (2552)
On 10/27/2011 at 12:00am - misc - by apparentlyunsexy - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23968) - you deserved it (5186)
On 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by beccav23 - United States (Texas)
Today I had to listen to my father lecture me on all the potential dangers of Halloween. He has a speech for every holiday, every year. I'm 28 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20937) - you deserved it (2028)
On 10/24/2011 at 10:54am - misc - by StromyG2 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I finally gathered up the guts to say hi to the girl I like. As I was walking down the hallway, I saw her and waved hello, only to walk into a bathroom door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21026) - you deserved it (4021)
On 10/24/2011 at 6:07am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to come up with a reward system for getting my boyfriend to brush his teeth daily. He's 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22220) - you deserved it (4994)
On 10/23/2011 at 2:23am - health - by lynnie - United States (Texas)
Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14400) - you deserved it (42721)
On 10/22/2011 at 2:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20117) - you deserved it (3084)
On 10/21/2011 at 1:19pm - health - by DMStarsky - United States (Texas)
Today, I thought it would be a great idea to tell my co-worker to calm down when he appeared to be very uptight. He thought it would be a great idea to punch me right in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15892) - you deserved it (8257)
On 10/21/2011 at 7:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my car broke down in the middle of the street. Lucky for me, two guys helped me push my car to the side of the road. Right when I was about to thank them, they stole my purse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23745) - you deserved it (2167)
On 10/19/2011 at 1:01am - misc - by mommydearist - United States (Texas)
Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35489) - you deserved it (7642)
On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36675) - you deserved it (2609)
On 10/17/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by pokeballbra - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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