Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25847) - you deserved it (2096)
On 12/27/2011 at 10:53am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I learned if you've slept with your soon to be step-brother you should tell your family. If you don't, he may blurt it out while drunk at a family barbecue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12340) - you deserved it (28147)
On 12/24/2011 at 1:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to dinner to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I received a text message, so I pulled out my phone to check. Apparently, his parents have a "No phone at the table rule" and took my phone away until I can learn "proper table manners." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13189) - you deserved it (30843)
On 12/18/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by grounded - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23843) - you deserved it (4088)
On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15595) - you deserved it (3698)
On 12/14/2011 at 9:06am - misc - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I fell off a ladder while building a shelter for one of my wife's horses. I think I broke some ribs. I absolutely hate horses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17866) - you deserved it (5012)
On 12/12/2011 at 10:47pm - health - by CessnaPilot - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend insisted that the dog stay in our bedroom while we had sex. He said it would prove his dominance, and "show the dog who's boss." My boyfriend needs to prove his self-worth to an animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26547) - you deserved it (3336)
On 12/10/2011 at 2:23am - intimacy - by HBC - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to jump into my car while it was still moving. Apparently, just because you put it in park and turn it off, doesn't mean it won't take off towards a ditch without warning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15102) - you deserved it (5937)
On 12/10/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by CassieMarieee - United States (Texas)
Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18241) - you deserved it (1674)
On 12/08/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by skidmark (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I noticed we had gotten new colored toothpicks at the restaurant I work at. That was the highlight of my day. Apparently my life has gotten so boring I get excited over colored toothpicks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15592) - you deserved it (2961)
On 12/08/2011 at 2:30am - work - by dulllife - United States (Texas)
Today, I got the official word my wife is pregnant. Her sister, who lives with us, is also pregnant. I'm stuck in an apartment with two women due in late 2012. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28088) - you deserved it (3910)
On 12/06/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by brando2k5 - United States (Texas)
Today, I was fired from my job on account of "sexual harassment" toward female employees. The harassment? Jokingly offering them foot massages when they were complaining about how their feet ached after a long shift, and complimenting them about their appearance when they felt down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20261) - you deserved it (26586)
On 12/05/2011 at 2:22am - intimacy - by LucklessNiceGuy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I cleaned my toilet. I had forgotten it was white. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5177) - you deserved it (37015)
On 12/04/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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