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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, someone tried to steal my backpack from the hook on the bathroom stall. Good news: they were caught off-guard by how heavy it was and dropped it. Bad news: my foot is now broken from using it to cushion the backpack's fall. FML

Today, I finally got my driver's permit. To celebrate, my parents decided to go to a bar and make me wait in the car because I'm now the designated driver. FML

#20928623
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45744) - you deserved it (4447)

On 10/21/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss gave me a verbal warning. My crime? Calling people "hon", "darlin'", and the like. I work at a Texas diner. FML

#20924228
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42901) - you deserved it (5287)

On 10/17/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after applying at over 30 businesses over the past 6 months, I have had not one single call. I later find out that I was using my old phone number on the applications, and my secondary phone was my mom's. She thought they were telemarketers. FML

#20922298
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24707) - you deserved it (41165)

On 10/16/2013 at 12:40am - work - by LFE - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the dentist. I ended up having some work done and left with a numb mouth. I have school pictures in less than 2 hours and I can neither smile nor stop drooling everywhere. FML

#20920258
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43760) - you deserved it (6609)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:32pm - health - by soccer_bball (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to start a new and healthy diet. When I came home from my run this morning, my family decided to show their support by buying takeaway food. FML

#20920168
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35021) - you deserved it (4295)

On 10/14/2013 at 2:19pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

#20918730
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21706) - you deserved it (81880)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML

#20917413
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42078) - you deserved it (4669)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:19am - love - by oink oink... - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad got me a GPS for my birthday. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't have a permit or a car. FML

#20910835
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40726) - you deserved it (3471)

On 10/07/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

#20907559
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27484) - you deserved it (81139)

On 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom started getting ready for the Rapture. FML

#20906662
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34836) - you deserved it (3023)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at Petsmart with my puppy. Someone tried to pet him. I tried to warn the guy that he is a rescue and doesn't trust easily. He didn't listen and now wants to sue me for a dog bite that didn't even break the skin. FML

#20906371
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43156) - you deserved it (2893)

On 10/03/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into a really fancy hotel bathroom. I spoke to the attendant and gave her my purse and coat while I used the toilet. When I came out, she was gone. The receptionist informed me they didn't have a bathroom attendant. FML

#20905582
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25167) - you deserved it (48874)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:41am - money - by wellcrap - United States (Texas)



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