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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, my mom started getting ready for the Rapture. FML

#20906662
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33264) - you deserved it (2867)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at Petsmart with my puppy. Someone tried to pet him. I tried to warn the guy that he is a rescue and doesn't trust easily. He didn't listen and now wants to sue me for a dog bite that didn't even break the skin. FML

#20906371
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41520) - you deserved it (2757)

On 10/03/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into a really fancy hotel bathroom. I spoke to the attendant and gave her my purse and coat while I used the toilet. When I came out, she was gone. The receptionist informed me they didn't have a bathroom attendant. FML

#20905582
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24083) - you deserved it (47172)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:41am - money - by wellcrap - United States (Texas)

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66799) - you deserved it (4063)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss' son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML

#20898132
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44299) - you deserved it (2643)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by anahira6 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML

#20894038
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49024) - you deserved it (2988)

On 09/24/2013 at 3:15am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I was adopted when my drunk dad made a terrible Star Wars joke. FML

#20893338
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38989) - you deserved it (2470)

On 09/23/2013 at 6:49pm - misc - by theynamedmeluke (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized the only "person" I have talked to in the last two days is Siri. FML

#20891258
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35765) - you deserved it (7816)

On 09/22/2013 at 9:34am - misc - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

#20889450
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64795) - you deserved it (6264)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm - intimacy - by oops - United States (Texas)

Today, I offered to help out at my grandpa's farm, and he had me load buckets of water into his trunk. When he came by and saw me struggling to lift a bucket, he sneered, called me a moron for filling it up before putting it in the truck, and told me to just go home. FML

#20889129
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32480) - you deserved it (10833)

On 09/20/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by fuckwank (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my colleagues and I found out that our boss has been taking business advice from an astrologer as well as a soothsayer. FML

#20886196
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32114) - you deserved it (2407)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:34am - work - by CrystalsDontWork - United States (Texas)

Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML

#20883989
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45893) - you deserved it (3204)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by I have wood (man) - United States (Texas)



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