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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48250) - you deserved it (24001)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my husband has a fake Facebook account that he uses to add guys and live a double life as some kind of "gamer chick". This would be disturbing enough, even if he hadn't used pictures of me to give a face to his alter ego. FML

#21173506
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40057) - you deserved it (3751)

On 06/13/2014 at 5:07pm - misc - by Little Miss Fucket (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my two cats decided to have a brawl on top of me. I was just trying to get to sleep. Now I'm covered in scratches. FML

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

#21169011
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49513) - you deserved it (5861)

On 06/09/2014 at 11:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized how bad my sex life is when I scratched a mosquito bite and almost had an orgasm. FML

#21168837
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50069) - you deserved it (9317)

On 06/09/2014 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML

#21161981
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35234) - you deserved it (4312)

On 06/03/2014 at 6:51pm - misc - by Aether - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked a student to an office on the other side of the school. I'm the kind of person who would rather make conversation than endure awkward silence, so I tried to talk to him. He just stared intently at my chest the whole time. FML

Today, my grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer. We're very close, and I called my boyfriend, really needing some support. I'd barely told him what had happened, when he replied, "Babe, I'm in the middle of a game here. Call me later." FML

#21150333
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49066) - you deserved it (6178)

On 05/24/2014 at 3:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

#21149418
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42574) - you deserved it (4282)

On 05/23/2014 at 5:25pm - misc - by idontevencareanymore (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was creeping on an old coworker's Facebook and noticed they'd tagged my face in an old group photo as another girl. According to the comments, the girl they'd tagged me as thought it was her too. I worked there for two years and nobody mentioned the mistake. FML

#21148062
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35187) - you deserved it (5167)

On 05/22/2014 at 1:51am - misc - by ForgottenSarahMarshall (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend decided that we won't be having any more sex until I beat her ridiculously high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21141738
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55594) - you deserved it (7770)

On 05/16/2014 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by (not) fucked - United States (Texas)

Today, me and the guy I was dating ran into my sister at the mall. He took one look at her and mumbled, "Great, I chose the ugly one" under his breath. FML

#21137666
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58796) - you deserved it (5695)

On 05/12/2014 at 12:01pm - love - by bambam - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom made a Facebook post about me starting my period and for everyone to be nice to me. FML

#21135508
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51799) - you deserved it (4521)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by ColoredPencil13 (woman) - United States (Texas)



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