Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23639) - you deserved it (1288)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)
Today, I went on a picnic with my boyfriend's family. I thought it would be nice to wear my sundress and cowgirl boots. The wind repeatedly picked up my dress in front of everyone, including my boyfriend's seedy grandpa, who I have to admit can do a pretty good wolf-whistle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14936) - you deserved it (5479)
On 05/02/2012 at 2:34pm - misc - by EyeSeeYou (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13626) - you deserved it (2629)
On 04/30/2012 at 8:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I blacked out at a wedding as a bridesmaid, during the service. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14199) - you deserved it (2481)
On 04/29/2012 at 10:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I saw a picture of a dude on a Harley on my friend's wall. I asked her if it was Dog the bounty hunter. It wasn't, it was her aunt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13859) - you deserved it (2831)
On 04/23/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by GogoTheGreat - United States (Texas)
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23083) - you deserved it (3901)
On 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm - kids - by sadmommy - United States (Texas)
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15174) - you deserved it (1518)
On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I discovered I have really bad dandruff. I learned this when I went indoor mini golfing and my whole upper body lit up like a Christmas tree underneath the black light. Among my friends I'm now known as the abominable snowman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15867) - you deserved it (3301)
On 04/22/2012 at 1:24am - health - by Andrew7847 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5776) - you deserved it (45625)
On 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm - misc - by Jenn P (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, some Juggalos mocked me for the way I was dressed. Juggalos giving sartorial advice, really? FML
I agree, your life sucks (11934) - you deserved it (2642)
On 04/18/2012 at 7:08pm - misc - by amazed (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom started dipping into my college savings, just so she can continue throwing money away on visiting a medium who claims she can channel the spirit of our recently-deceased family dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18955) - you deserved it (1148)
On 04/15/2012 at 1:38pm - animals - by really mom (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after two years of vigorously fundraising on behalf of my senior class, they voted on spending the senior trip money at a waterpark. It's less than thirty minutes from where we all live. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15361) - you deserved it (1648)
On 04/13/2012 at 6:40pm - misc - by clitty clitty bang bang (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend of four years friend-zoned me while I was proposing to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34650) - you deserved it (1960)
On 04/11/2012 at 2:27pm - love - by crjsej - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
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