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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

#21188385
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37138) - you deserved it (25298)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Respect101 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after nearly a year of being stalked, harassed and even terrorized, the police finally found out who my stalker was. It was my 19-year-old son, who thought it would be a fun prank to pull. FML

#21185679
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46861) - you deserved it (5334)

On 06/23/2014 at 7:13pm - kids - by Anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my life is so boring that I started looking through my can of coins and sorting them out by year. The oldest coin I have is from 1963. FML

#21181414
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38381) - you deserved it (8257)

On 06/20/2014 at 1:05am - misc - by Gibbster_ (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, in a last ditch attempt to get away from my psycho coworker, I made my boss transfer me to another branch in the district. My coworker was immediately moved to that branch, because we "work well together". FML

#21176055
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45952) - you deserved it (4318)

On 06/15/2014 at 10:21pm - work - by Godhelpme (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47957) - you deserved it (23856)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my husband has a fake Facebook account that he uses to add guys and live a double life as some kind of "gamer chick". This would be disturbing enough, even if he hadn't used pictures of me to give a face to his alter ego. FML

#21173506
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40035) - you deserved it (3751)

On 06/13/2014 at 5:07pm - misc - by Little Miss Fucket (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my two cats decided to have a brawl on top of me. I was just trying to get to sleep. Now I'm covered in scratches. FML

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

#21169011
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49497) - you deserved it (5859)

On 06/09/2014 at 11:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized how bad my sex life is when I scratched a mosquito bite and almost had an orgasm. FML

#21168837
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50035) - you deserved it (9316)

On 06/09/2014 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML

#21161981
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35220) - you deserved it (4312)

On 06/03/2014 at 6:51pm - misc - by Aether - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked a student to an office on the other side of the school. I'm the kind of person who would rather make conversation than endure awkward silence, so I tried to talk to him. He just stared intently at my chest the whole time. FML

Today, my grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer. We're very close, and I called my boyfriend, really needing some support. I'd barely told him what had happened, when he replied, "Babe, I'm in the middle of a game here. Call me later." FML

#21150333
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49052) - you deserved it (6176)

On 05/24/2014 at 3:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

#21149418
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42555) - you deserved it (4282)

On 05/23/2014 at 5:25pm - misc - by idontevencareanymore (woman) - United States (Texas)



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