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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I worked 24 hours straight fixing my company's servers. After it was over, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and promptly fell asleep at my desk. My boss found me an hour later, refused to listen to me, and fired me for sleeping on the job. FML

#20933214
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47022) - you deserved it (4140)

On 10/25/2013 at 5:01am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a haunted house with the girl I like, thinking that she would get scared and turn to me for comfort. I ended up running out, and was put on the Wall of Shame. FML

#20933080
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34452) - you deserved it (18620)

On 10/25/2013 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while working as a paramedic, we got called to an assisted living home. The medical emergency? The woman had a leak in her bathroom and wanted it fixed. FML

#20931468
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34438) - you deserved it (2228)

On 10/23/2013 at 6:41pm - health - by random - United States (Texas)

Today, someone tried to steal my backpack from the hook on the bathroom stall. Good news: they were caught off-guard by how heavy it was and dropped it. Bad news: my foot is now broken from using it to cushion the backpack's fall. FML

Today, I finally got my driver's permit. To celebrate, my parents decided to go to a bar and make me wait in the car because I'm now the designated driver. FML

#20928623
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44334) - you deserved it (4319)

On 10/21/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss gave me a verbal warning. My crime? Calling people "hon", "darlin'", and the like. I work at a Texas diner. FML

#20924228
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42697) - you deserved it (5269)

On 10/17/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after applying at over 30 businesses over the past 6 months, I have had not one single call. I later find out that I was using my old phone number on the applications, and my secondary phone was my mom's. She thought they were telemarketers. FML

#20922298
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24573) - you deserved it (41026)

On 10/16/2013 at 12:40am - work - by LFE - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the dentist. I ended up having some work done and left with a numb mouth. I have school pictures in less than 2 hours and I can neither smile nor stop drooling everywhere. FML

#20920258
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42010) - you deserved it (6390)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:32pm - health - by soccer_bball (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to start a new and healthy diet. When I came home from my run this morning, my family decided to show their support by buying takeaway food. FML

#20920168
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34859) - you deserved it (4286)

On 10/14/2013 at 2:19pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

#20918730
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21606) - you deserved it (81428)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML

#20917413
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40236) - you deserved it (4477)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:19am - love - by oink oink... - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad got me a GPS for my birthday. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't have a permit or a car. FML

#20910835
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38854) - you deserved it (3290)

On 10/07/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

#20907559
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25692) - you deserved it (77838)

On 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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