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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, my dogs somehow pulled the water spigot off the wall in my backyard. I now have my own private lake. FML

#21523045
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17524) - you deserved it (1517)

On 02/05/2016 at 11:07am - misc - by Hreid254 - United States (Texas)

Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML

#21520882
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18642) - you deserved it (3249)

On 01/29/2016 at 5:18pm - misc - by I Tried (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my best friend was cheating on her boyfriend. After confronting her boyfriend and showing him proof, he responded with denial and didn't believe me. Now my whole circle of friends not only think I'm trying to start a rumor, but that I'm a home wrecker. FML

#21520351
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20596) - you deserved it (8085)

On 01/28/2016 at 7:12am - misc - by iTried - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend came home and spontaneously wanted to have sex for the first time in about a year. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and had just came from an AA meeting. She reeked of alcohol, I couldn't get hard because of it and she got pissed at me. She says she won't be spontaneous again. FML

#21519928
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22229) - you deserved it (1830)

On 01/27/2016 at 1:04am - intimacy - by FullCircleProblem (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss got mad at me because I told her that I wouldn't be able to work two days out of the week, due to college classes. She then cut back my hours so much that I now only work one day a week. I got the job in the first place to pay for my college classes. FML

#21519921
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19364) - you deserved it (1453)

On 01/27/2016 at 12:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking to class. While waiting at the crosswalk, a guy cat-called me from his car. I guess he was pissed that I didn't respond, because he purposely drove through a puddle and completely soaked me and the expensive textbook I was holding. FML

#21519651
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20758) - you deserved it (1581)

On 01/26/2016 at 12:05pm - misc - by Soakedandbroke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend moved in with me. I just walked into my kitchen to find my thirty year-old, perfectly seasoned cast iron skillet completely submerged in soapy water in the sink, presumably from last night when he washed the dishes. FML

Today, at my retail job, I tried on one of our hats. My co-worker told me I shouldn't because I could get lice. I laughed it off and told her I didn't believe her. Man, do I believe her now. FML

#21517571
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17180) - you deserved it (7786)

On 01/20/2016 at 10:16pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my father didn't have a rare brain disease, and that he was just an alcoholic. I've been taking care of him every time his "brain disease" acts up, for 2 years. FML

#21517034
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18889) - you deserved it (3211)

On 01/19/2016 at 3:53pm - misc - by blah - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally broke an expensive glass display shelf at work. My coworker joked, "Ooh, that's gonna come out of your paycheck!" My boss thought that was a great idea. FML

Today, I found out my mom took around $2,500 from my savings account to pay off my sister's college tuition. She recently flunked out of her studies and won't be returning to college anyway. FML

#21515129
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22158) - you deserved it (1363)

On 01/14/2016 at 9:31am - money - by FuckedOver (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML

#21514734
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22504) - you deserved it (5901)

On 01/13/2016 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by ShouldveStayedAVirgin - United States (Texas)

Today, my 70-year-old coworker managed to do something to our shared computer for it to not boot up. This is our 4th computer since we've been working together, and he refuses to believe that he's the problem. FML

#21512490
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19454) - you deserved it (1336)

On 01/07/2016 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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