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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML

#21446754
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27136) - you deserved it (4621)

On 07/24/2015 at 10:04pm - kids - by Sad Mom - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister was complaining about her acne, almost to the point of tears. Trying to make her feel better, I mentioned that my acne is worse. She replied, "But you don't care what you look like!" FML

#21446028
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21738) - you deserved it (1999)

On 07/23/2015 at 2:10pm - misc - by hamurobby82 - United States (Texas)

Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML

#21445392
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25269) - you deserved it (3108)

On 07/22/2015 at 7:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33034) - you deserved it (2321)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while walking home with my girlfriend we decided to take a shortcut in the woods. After hearing a huge noise, she pushed me and ran. FML

#21440556
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23014) - you deserved it (2425)

On 07/12/2015 at 3:56pm - love - by sheWontbeOnMyZombieApocteam - United States (Texas)

Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML

#21439786
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25311) - you deserved it (3444)

On 07/10/2015 at 10:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML

#21438347
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22875) - you deserved it (3924)

On 07/08/2015 at 3:04am - animals - by coolcat10156 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

#21437094
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25235) - you deserved it (2537)

On 07/05/2015 at 11:18pm - misc - by madisonnkelly - United States (Texas)

Today, my family claimed that I haven't ever broken a bone because I don't do anything risky. I broke my arm by falling in the shower less than 2 hours later and my entire family thinks I did it to prove a point. FML

#21436352
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25368) - you deserved it (1994)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:56pm - misc - by hamurobby82 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was called a selfish brat for asking for a pillow as my birthday present. FML

#21433680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26865) - you deserved it (1794)

On 06/29/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by youdontknowmewhy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after all of the business cards for the car dealership that I work for were printed, the phone number was wrong, and the lady got so pissed about getting so many calls that she told them that they had won a free car. I had to tell dozens of ecstatic customers that they hadn't. FML

#21430788
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21761) - you deserved it (5142)

On 06/23/2015 at 6:37pm - work - by Luke - United States (Texas)

Today, while taking a slow night at my waitressing job, I thought I heard the sound of crying coming from the kitchen. I rushed in, thinking something terrible had happened. Nope, the bus boy was just watching porn on his phone with no headphones. FML

#21429840
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24534) - you deserved it (1671)

On 06/21/2015 at 11:08pm - intimacy - by koanroak - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a job interview, and my father in law's house. As soon as I got home I went to the bathroom and noticed my bloody pantyliner had fallen out at one of these places. I don't know which one is worse. FML

#21428990
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23833) - you deserved it (2391)

On 06/20/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by organizse - United States (Texas)



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