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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Texas

Today, my dad put in wall plug-ins that emit high frequencies that are suppose to ward off mice. I must be a mouse, because I can hear the annoying noise in every room I walk into. FML

#19031754 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (5296) - you deserved it (375)

On 02/09/2012 at 12:37am - misc - by Ihaveaheadache - United States (Texas)

Today, I was called an 'unhelpful little bitch' by a customer, after I informed her that we couldn't order a pair of shoes she wanted from the company in her size because it's a discontinued model. This little tirade continued for another few minutes, with her insulting me and my intelligence. FML

#19014850 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (6158) - you deserved it (608)

On 02/06/2012 at 11:27pm - work - by Unhelpful (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML

#18992832 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (5650) - you deserved it (928)

On 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a single, handmade valentines card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML

#18988741 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (6702) - you deserved it (1431)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (7884) - you deserved it (1437)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

#18981474 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (3654) - you deserved it (5372)

On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out how it feels when a refrigerator door unhinges and falls on your toes. FML

#18965724 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (7406) - you deserved it (538)

On 02/01/2012 at 12:06am - health - by kb - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML

#18954883 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (5777) - you deserved it (1013)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:20pm - work - by robert (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (9870) - you deserved it (1005)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my wife purposefully eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML

#18898417 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (9628) - you deserved it (833)

On 01/24/2012 at 12:31pm - love - by Allergic (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is so low. FML

#18844596 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (6395) - you deserved it (1229)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:41pm - misc - by FML - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is a Mormon, when his mother greeted me saying how happy she was her son had found himself a Mormon girlfriend. I know nothing about Mormonism, except from what I've seen on South Park, and I'm an atheist. FML

#18830961 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (6677) - you deserved it (1367)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML

#18829568 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (2250) - you deserved it (6255)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:16pm - misc - by potatoes - United States (Texas)