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FMLs submitted from Tennessee

Today, I tried to open a can with a potato peeler. For a minute I forgot what a can opener looked like. FML

#18924475
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8980) - you deserved it (22825)

On 01/27/2012 at 11:30am - misc - by maryfaithh (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML

#18769573
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25225) - you deserved it (2407)

On 01/10/2012 at 8:40pm - work - by lions214 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34229) - you deserved it (3229)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got married. About five minutes after I got my huge wedding dress on, I had to pee. It took three people to help me not pee on my dress, and my bridesmaids took pictures. FML

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I heard a notification on my iPhone. I thought nothing of it until we were done, and then I checked it out. My mom had posted on my Facebook, telling me that if I didn't keep it down, she was going to come up to my room. FML

#18135493
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30151) - you deserved it (12473)

On 11/02/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by ugadawgs09 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML

#17906392
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28994) - you deserved it (2701)

On 10/04/2011 at 8:14pm - love - by Nickolas Neffster - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

#17761729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25988) - you deserved it (4228)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend cheated on me. But he justified it by saying she was a ginger. FML

#17738914
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32293) - you deserved it (4111)

On 09/13/2011 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

#17734128
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23651) - you deserved it (9444)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML

#17727242
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27376) - you deserved it (2415)

On 09/12/2011 at 10:28am - work - by charliemann_ - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that the man who offered to put up the woman I love in exchange for me helping out with his rent, has in fact been her "other" boyfriend since before she moved in. FML

#17706301
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21718) - you deserved it (3839)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:48pm - love - by Just me (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after using the bar of soap in the shower to wash my face, I looked down and noticed it was covered in my husband's pubes. FML

#17620959
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30580) - you deserved it (10525)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by Nasty (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

#17617939
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28703) - you deserved it (3454)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)



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