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FMLs submitted from Tennessee

Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML

#17727242
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26345) - you deserved it (2321)

On 09/12/2011 at 10:28am - work - by charliemann_ - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that the man who offered to put up the woman I love in exchange for me helping out with his rent, has in fact been her "other" boyfriend since before she moved in. FML

#17706301
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21613) - you deserved it (3826)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:48pm - love - by Just me (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after using the bar of soap in the shower to wash my face, I looked down and noticed it was covered in my husband's pubes. FML

#17620959
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29121) - you deserved it (10132)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by Nasty (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

#17617939
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27643) - you deserved it (3354)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML

#17614245
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21412) - you deserved it (2556)

On 08/29/2011 at 6:05pm - work - by dck128 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found my truck broken into. Whoever broke in ripped my dash apart, and the stupid idiot couldn't get the radio out. So now I have a trashed truck interior, and the moron has nothing to show for it. He did leave behind his Subway wrapper though. FML

#17555162
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22753) - you deserved it (1949)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

#17245235
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30272) - you deserved it (2313)

On 07/24/2011 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML

#17131745
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32985) - you deserved it (3268)

On 07/16/2011 at 2:23am - money - by Tanner - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML

#17115865
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42645) - you deserved it (9217)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by krissy8799 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30578) - you deserved it (89090)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML

#16486194
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27164) - you deserved it (6736)

On 06/03/2011 at 5:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

#16410366
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16641) - you deserved it (77056)

On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I walked into work looking like I had peed myself, all because my husband thought it would be "hilarious" to slam on the brakes while I was drinking hot coffee. FML

#16371411
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29345) - you deserved it (3179)

On 05/27/2011 at 11:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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