FMLs submitted from Tennessee

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she's been cheating on me for the past two months. Apparently she thought I'd take it well, because when I yelled at her for being a heartless bitch, she stuttered "S-sike!" and tried to play it off as a prank. She's acting like we're still dating. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2014 at 11:19am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, after two years, my girlfriend finally got over her intimacy and commitment problems, with a guy she met over the summer. FML

by Summer Loving Happened So Fast / 12/02/2014 at 12:59pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2014 at 1:51pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me over some rumors he heard about me. These rumors are from high-school, seven years ago. FML

by ugh / 11/11/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2014 at 10:48pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my parents are divorcing and my mom is moving out. I'm 11 weeks pregnant. Breaking the news should be fun. FML

by 19collegestudentandpregant / 09/26/2014 at 6:07pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have learned a lot of "big" words from reading so much, but can actually only pronounce about half of them correctly. FML

by anon / 09/25/2014 at 1:48am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

by KristaAaronn / 08/27/2014 at 8:24am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2014 at 1:55pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, after losing his job, I reassured my boyfriend by telling him I'd rather be with him living in a cardboard box than to be without him. He responded by telling me he'd rather be dead. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2014 at 12:26am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I got written up for asking my coworker a question that I should have asked my boss to ask my coworker. Yay bureaucracy. FML

by not paid enough / 06/01/2014 at 5:03pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

by whoops / 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy