FMLs submitted from Tennessee

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

by FreshDonuts / 02/28/2015 at 12:03am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the mall with some friends. We all kept smelling this god awful B.O. smell and had no idea where it was coming from. On the car ride home, we all figured out it was actually me. FML

by cooploops / 01/31/2015 at 10:13am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2015 at 7:16pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, my mom and step-dad tore my room apart looking for the stash of drugs they thought I had. I've never touched drugs in my life, and I guess they believe me now. Didn't stop them from making me clean up the mess they made, though. FML

by tokinallday / 01/02/2015 at 2:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shocked to notice that my hair has started growing out entirely silver, supposedly due to pregnancy. I'm 19. Apparently, according to my aunt, "It runs in the family." FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2014 at 5:41am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she's been cheating on me for the past two months. Apparently she thought I'd take it well, because when I yelled at her for being a heartless bitch, she stuttered "S-sike!" and tried to play it off as a prank. She's acting like we're still dating. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2014 at 11:19am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, after two years, my girlfriend finally got over her intimacy and commitment problems, with a guy she met over the summer. FML

by Summer Loving Happened So Fast / 12/02/2014 at 12:59pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2014 at 1:51pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me over some rumors he heard about me. These rumors are from high-school, seven years ago. FML

by ugh / 11/11/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2014 at 10:48pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my parents are divorcing and my mom is moving out. I'm 11 weeks pregnant. Breaking the news should be fun. FML

by 19collegestudentandpregant / 09/26/2014 at 6:07pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have learned a lot of "big" words from reading so much, but can actually only pronounce about half of them correctly. FML

by anon / 09/25/2014 at 1:48am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous