FMLs submitted from Tennessee

Today, my dad brought me home after I was in the hospital for a week. He gets me to my room, hands me a glass of water and some granola bars, then leaves me on my own so he can go play golf. FML

by lonely / 08/01/2010 at 12:10am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, I found out my parents are getting divorced. They're fighting over the dog instead of my sister and me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2010 at 12:29pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I accidentally filled the lemonade machine with margarita mix that already had the tequila mixed in. It was served to three kids before anyone figured it out. FML

by magnolia / 07/13/2010 at 10:10pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, my family and I were about to watch the video my dad took of me walking across the stage at my high school graduation. Turns out he recorded the wrong kid. FML

by highschoolgrad / 06/08/2010 at 12:09am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML

by guyshithappensto / 05/21/2010 at 10:41pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, my best friend told me that she is only my friend because she is prettier than me and being my friend boost her confidence. FML

by fothermuckerrr / 05/14/2010 at 12:07am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a phone call from my father asking how I spelled my name. Not only was he the parent who picked out my name, he was completely serious. FML

by crimson28 / 03/07/2010 at 3:18am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, the soon-to-be father of my baby told me he thinks I'm an extremly selfish person, and that I do not love him. His reasoning? I haven't given him a backrub in 2 weeks, sleep too much and have a hormonal problem. Once again, I AM PREGNANT! FML

by ksztte / 02/27/2010 at 8:17am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, I came home to find that my roommate had done the laundry. At first, I was very appreciative. However, I wasn't so thankful when I found out she brought home the wrong basket from the laundromat. FML

by jacquelle / 02/25/2010 at 1:12pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML

by anna14 / 02/21/2010 at 2:34pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I opened the freezer for some Poptarts and a giant block of meat fell and broke my toe. FML

by freakingow / 02/14/2010 at 1:05pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML

by ositsranielle / 02/13/2010 at 12:32pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I was fired from my job. Why? Because my boss has been dating my newly divorced mother, and he didn't want family get-togethers to be "awkward." FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work