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FMLs submitted from Tennessee

Today, I found my phone under the car seat after three days. I flipped it open ready to issue apologies to everyone who had tried to get in touch with me and I had worried. No missed calls. FML

#1027558
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71210) - you deserved it (9404)

On 04/16/2009 at 6:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my father, who I rarely see, drove 400 miles to my wedding. I was so happy to see him, until he got completely trashed at my reception, asked me where he could "score some weed" and told me what a bitch my mom was and how I needed to lose weight. For over an hour. At my wedding. FML

#907483
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73792) - you deserved it (3474)

On 04/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by JeezyCherieze (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML

#820741
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81260) - you deserved it (6717)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by IfuSeekAmyIdo (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was having sex with this girl I met in stats class when my roommate walked in. He started applauding and said, "$20 bucks for me! I knew you weren't gay!" Him and my other roommate had a bet. They are my best friends. FML

#722457
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81869) - you deserved it (7956)

On 03/31/2009 at 11:35am - intimacy - by CBBP (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my college economics class had a big test. We all needed a scantron sheet, but some people forgot some. I had an extra one and this really hot girl offered to buy it for $1.00. I said I'd give it to her for her number. She looked around and asked "Does anyone else have an extra?" FML

#668061
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45372) - you deserved it (26877)

On 03/28/2009 at 8:13pm - misc - by thathurt (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML

#579583
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62090) - you deserved it (31630)

On 03/24/2009 at 4:52pm - money - by dude (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to Hot Topic to look for a poster of my friend's favorite band for her birthday. I found the perfect one, and I grabbed one from the bottom of the shelf that was rolled up into a long box. When she opened it at the restaurant, it was a picture of two naked girls touching each other. FML

#528307
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26832) - you deserved it (58659)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

#379796
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52288) - you deserved it (31569)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by SmoothTalker (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, the guy I like told me in casual conversation that I shouldn't get mad at him if he makes out with other girls at the bar, he only does it when he's drunk, that he doesn't really like them. We've been sleeping together for a week now. He met me at the bar. FML

#134877
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18690) - you deserved it (30686)

On 02/25/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by seriously? (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I listened to my room mate having sex from 3 A.M. until 6 A.M. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

#30994
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41394) - you deserved it (10538)

On 02/12/2009 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by skipper - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got on Facebook and realized the only two friend requests I've had in 2 months are both from my parents. FML

#22156
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30814) - you deserved it (4823)

On 02/10/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I told my best friend of 10 years that somewhere along the way I fell in love with him and I think we should be together. His response: "I appreciate the sentiment." FML

#15560
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28048) - you deserved it (3443)

On 02/08/2009 at 6:34pm - misc - by mer (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my anatomy teacher was putting together a skeleton model for class. He had misplaced the leg bone, so I thoughtfully asked, "What's the matter, lose a leg?" Unfortunately, there's nothing thoughtful about asking that question to a guy with an amputated leg. FML

#10699
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6794) - you deserved it (30520)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:56pm - misc - by Foot In Mouth (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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