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FMLs submitted from Tennessee

Today, I was closing the deal on this beautiful $200k ranch in the country. The buyer soon pulls up and we get to discussing the contract terms, soon the buyer asks the seller," Wow why is this house going so cheap?" The seller replies, "Do you believe in ghosts?" There goes my $8,000 commission. FML

#1283082
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46543) - you deserved it (5023)

On 04/24/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by dontaskdonttell (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's my daughter". FML

#1243795
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10081) - you deserved it (75092)

On 04/22/2009 at 11:11pm - misc - by brob56 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

Today, at the rehearsal for my wedding, my mother told my bride's mother to fuck off. FML

#1072377
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74366) - you deserved it (3650)

On 04/17/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

#1033363
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35938) - you deserved it (309803)

On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found my phone under the car seat after three days. I flipped it open ready to issue apologies to everyone who had tried to get in touch with me and I had worried. No missed calls. FML

#1027558
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71372) - you deserved it (9418)

On 04/16/2009 at 6:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my father, who I rarely see, drove 400 miles to my wedding. I was so happy to see him, until he got completely trashed at my reception, asked me where he could "score some weed" and told me what a bitch my mom was and how I needed to lose weight. For over an hour. At my wedding. FML

#907483
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74668) - you deserved it (3553)

On 04/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by JeezyCherieze (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML

#820741
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81421) - you deserved it (6728)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by IfuSeekAmyIdo (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was having sex with this girl I met in stats class when my roommate walked in. He started applauding and said, "$20 bucks for me! I knew you weren't gay!" Him and my other roommate had a bet. They are my best friends. FML

#722457
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82077) - you deserved it (7966)

On 03/31/2009 at 11:35am - intimacy - by CBBP (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my college economics class had a big test. We all needed a scantron sheet, but some people forgot some. I had an extra one and this really hot girl offered to buy it for $1.00. I said I'd give it to her for her number. She looked around and asked "Does anyone else have an extra?" FML

#668061
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45489) - you deserved it (26914)

On 03/28/2009 at 8:13pm - misc - by thathurt (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML

#579583
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62531) - you deserved it (31826)

On 03/24/2009 at 4:52pm - money - by dude (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to Hot Topic to look for a poster of my friend's favorite band for her birthday. I found the perfect one, and I grabbed one from the bottom of the shelf that was rolled up into a long box. When she opened it at the restaurant, it was a picture of two naked girls touching each other. FML

#528307
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27304) - you deserved it (59315)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

#379796
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53152) - you deserved it (31910)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by SmoothTalker (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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