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FMLs submitted from Tennessee

Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML

#579583
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56934) - you deserved it (25941)

On 03/24/2009 at 4:52pm - money - by dude (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to Hot Topic to look for a poster of my friend's favorite band for her birthday. I found the perfect one, and I grabbed one from the bottom of the shelf that was rolled up into a long box. When she opened it at the restaurant, it was a picture of two naked girls touching each other. FML

#528307
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25582) - you deserved it (57157)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

#379796
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50155) - you deserved it (30719)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by SmoothTalker (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, the guy I like told me in casual conversation that I shouldn't get mad at him if he makes out with other girls at the bar, he only does it when he's drunk, that he doesn't really like them. We've been sleeping together for a week now. He met me at the bar. FML

#134877
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16123) - you deserved it (25104)

On 02/25/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by seriously? (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I listened to my room mate having sex from 3 A.M. until 6 A.M. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

#30994
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35437) - you deserved it (8994)

On 02/12/2009 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by skipper - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got on Facebook and realized the only two friend requests I've had in 2 months are both from my parents. FML

#22156
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29451) - you deserved it (4636)

On 02/10/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I told my best friend of 10 years that somewhere along the way I fell in love with him and I think we should be together. His response: "I appreciate the sentiment." FML

#15560
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25682) - you deserved it (3210)

On 02/08/2009 at 6:34pm - misc - by mer (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my anatomy teacher was putting together a skeleton model for class. He had misplaced the leg bone, so I thoughtfully asked, "What's the matter, lose a leg?" Unfortunately, there's nothing thoughtful about asking that question to a guy with an amputated leg. FML

#10699
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6226) - you deserved it (29001)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:56pm - misc - by Foot In Mouth (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got fired from my job. I worked for my parents. FML

#9285
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33986) - you deserved it (8840)

On 02/05/2009 at 6:41am - work - by fml (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML

#6669
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29931) - you deserved it (6784)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:16pm - intimacy - by Zippyzoo (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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