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FMLs submitted from Tennessee

Today, I was playing paintball when I noticed a 9 year old fat kid sitting and crying on the ground. Thinking he'd fallen and was hurt, I walked over to him. He looks up and shoots me in the face, arm, stomach, and happy sacks area from 4 feet away then runs off. He was not hurt at all, and now everything tastes like paint. FML

#2734001
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44996) - you deserved it (7911)

On 06/09/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Woody - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML

#2621619
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47790) - you deserved it (10381)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:25am - kids - by KPKallery (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was driving on the highway and a cop had his radar gun out. The woman in front of me panics and slams her brakes on, causing me to rear end her. The cop cited me for "tailgating" and I have to pay for the damages on both of our cars. FML

#2337176
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48153) - you deserved it (18932)

On 05/27/2009 at 8:40am - misc - by A.K. (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed asking,"are those your feet?" I had forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML

#2300896
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16702) - you deserved it (42390)

On 05/26/2009 at 2:10am - love - by Socklessandsmelly (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I called my mom while she was out of town and confessed how I have been depressed lately and thinking suicidal thoughts. After my long sob story, she took a breath and said, "OK, just make sure you don't forget to take the dogs out." FML

#1836224
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52616) - you deserved it (5083)

On 05/11/2009 at 2:21am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got stopped for shoplifting at a department store. They took me back to the security room and showed me the tapes. I was taking my own designer lipgloss that I had bought a month before out of my purse. FML

#1818447
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55573) - you deserved it (3820)

On 05/10/2009 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying, "I can come over today. She thinks I've got work." I think he had the wrong number. FML

#1815283
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78702) - you deserved it (3678)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:46pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML

#1708480
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53391) - you deserved it (2614)

On 05/07/2009 at 12:53am - work - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my family was talking about how people's hair goes gray when they get old. My grandma mentioned that she was initially attracted to my grandpa because of his red hair and was sad when it turned gray. "It's ok," she continued, "his pubic hair is still red." FML

#1378571
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66441) - you deserved it (3724)

On 04/27/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by ewwww (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

#1346080
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83233) - you deserved it (5663)

On 04/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by calliefml (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was closing the deal on this beautiful $200k ranch in the country. The buyer soon pulls up and we get to discussing the contract terms, soon the buyer asks the seller," Wow why is this house going so cheap?" The seller replies, "Do you believe in ghosts?" There goes my $8,000 commission. FML

#1283082
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46508) - you deserved it (5018)

On 04/24/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by dontaskdonttell (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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