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FMLs submitted from Tennessee

Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML

#5128135
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37453) - you deserved it (6748)

On 09/08/2009 at 3:02pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML

#5081396
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42955) - you deserved it (3335)

On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML

#4972941
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32315) - you deserved it (3759)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44am - work - by spinner (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my friend got a babysitter for the kids and told me she was taking me to a party. My son told me his band was playing at a party. I will be 40 tomorrow, so I thought this would be the best surprise birthday party ever. It WAS a surprise birthday party – for a friend of ours. FML

#4952305
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29823) - you deserved it (2791)

On 08/31/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by kelkline (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was playing Ultimate Frisbee and trying to make new friends since I'm new at my college. I was running after an overthrown frisbee for a touchdown. Everyone cheered me on to keep going. I ran full speed into a fence. FML

#4781635
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26637) - you deserved it (7969)

On 08/24/2009 at 10:22am - health - by AvengdSevenfold (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I spent my date night babysitting. After waiting three hours later than I was supposed, the mother finally gets home at 11, too late for me to get out and have any fun. Already annoyed, I take the money as she says, "I hope this is enough, I got hungry and spent some of your money." FML

#4020289
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40123) - you deserved it (1889)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:21am - work - by hugs511 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was talking to my good friend's girlfriend. She mentioned being afraid of losing her job. Because she was still a teenager, I jokingly said, "oh, like you're responsible for a whole family." She is. FML

#3633751
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12005) - you deserved it (42137)

On 07/10/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Mezzlegasm (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I turned 23. I had asked my mom for some things to decorate my new place. As I opened the box to reveal my gift, a mirror was inside. I liked the mirror. I did not like the note attached that said "Look inside the mirror to see who is now 100% financially responsible for themselves." FML

#3627514
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35112) - you deserved it (17031)

On 07/10/2009 at 12:08am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had sex with my fiancée. My panties fell behind the bed. Later, when I went to get them, I found three other pairs. Only one pair was mine. FML

#3574119
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65260) - you deserved it (3693)

On 07/08/2009 at 2:46am - intimacy - by cheated (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend called me explaining that he is getting married this weekend to a woman he met on Craigslist. Why? Because I won't marry him, and he'll make an extra thousand dollars per month having a wife since he is in the army. FML

#3462029
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36813) - you deserved it (9926)

On 07/03/2009 at 7:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I text her angry, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. 5 Minutes later I get a picture message of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother saying "Shut the **** up, she had appendicitis." FML

#3361176
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14356) - you deserved it (83603)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:20am - love - by annoyedguy (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend was upset, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her how much I love her and how beautiful she is. After a minute, her face started to light up. I thought it had worked until I realized that she was being cheered up by the friends she was talking to online. FML

#3159457
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35912) - you deserved it (3065)

On 06/23/2009 at 10:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boss hired a feng shui consultant for our small office space. I am the only full-time employee besides the owners, and I work as an unpaid intern. My company would rather pay someone to rearrange my desk than pay me to work at it. FML

#3122883
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35928) - you deserved it (2937)

On 06/22/2009 at 4:06pm - work - by Goldo (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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