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FMLs submitted from Tennessee

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

#6302850
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6943) - you deserved it (67006)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - animals - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I let my dad borrow my car. I found out a few hours later that he has had a suspended license for three years. How did I find out? He got pulled over and arrested. My car was also impounded. I'm a college student barely making it as it is. Guess who can't afford the impound fees? FML

#6256423
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29581) - you deserved it (2771)

On 11/11/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by brokeasajoke (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I overheard my best friend's wife telling their kids to pay attention in school and stay focused on their goals so they don't end up a failure in life like their father's friend, Matt. Hi, my name is Matt and I'm the friend. FML

#6182274
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26476) - you deserved it (4686)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got an e-mail from a girl, asking if my boyfriend was indeed my boyfriend. I sent back a gushing message about how much I loved him and how well he treated me. She replied "Yeah, I know. He was supposed to be my boyfriend, too." FML

#6113173
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33819) - you deserved it (3553)

On 11/02/2009 at 12:08am - love - by OhJoy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I received the newspaper from my hometown. My ex-husband's wedding announcement and picture were on the front page. His new wife has the same first name as me. All my Facebook friends from high school commented on how much weight I've lost and how good I look in my wedding photo. FML

#6021745
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37554) - you deserved it (3045)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by WasFeelingGood (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I applied for college graduation. Turns out my advisor screwed me over and now I'm 1 credit hour short of getting my degree. Now I have to wait another semester and pay $3,500 just to take a one hour class on Bowling so that I can graduate. FML

#5598199
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37312) - you deserved it (5609)

On 10/02/2009 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I parked my truck next to a rather large SUV at school, went to class for 8 hours straight, came back and found my passenger side door crumpled from where they had backed out and hit it. They left a note on my window that said, "Sorry about your truck, but I don't have insurance." FML

#5393176
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38604) - you deserved it (2280)

On 09/21/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while my 18 pound cat was on the edge of the tub watching me shower, he fell in. Apparently, in his mind, the best way to get away from the water is to climb my bare legs. FML

#5309317
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34970) - you deserved it (5192)

On 09/17/2009 at 7:14am - animals - by HHIChica (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML

#5208232
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38001) - you deserved it (8066)

On 09/12/2009 at 2:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML

#5128135
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41890) - you deserved it (7375)

On 09/08/2009 at 3:02pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML

#5081396
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44983) - you deserved it (3498)

On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML

#4972941
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36966) - you deserved it (4781)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44am - work - by spinner (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my friend got a babysitter for the kids and told me she was taking me to a party. My son told me his band was playing at a party. I will be 40 tomorrow, so I thought this would be the best surprise birthday party ever. It WAS a surprise birthday party – for a friend of ours. FML

#4952305
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32879) - you deserved it (3074)

On 08/31/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by kelkline (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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