FMLs submitted from Tennessee

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

by fail / 06/15/2012 at 11:36am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, I met separately with the President and Chairman of the company regarding a product that I'm designing. Each ordered me to do the opposite of whatever the other instructed. FML

by beagle1 / 04/03/2012 at 11:10am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I realized that something's wrong when you have to go to a mental hospital for a family reunion. FML

by neverthesame / 03/28/2012 at 10:53pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

by BadGuyLuck / 02/25/2012 at 1:33am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents dragged me along to a family soccer game. I got so bored watching a bunch of grown men practically buttfucking each other between kicking balls around the field, that I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty field and had to walk five miles back home. FML

by so bored -__- / 02/24/2012 at 11:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML

by music man / 02/24/2012 at 7:50pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 7:30am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I couldn’t have a conversation with my fiancé unless it was about Dragon Ball Z. FML

by DBZ / 02/20/2012 at 10:53am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML

by fuck teh poleese / 02/12/2012 at 4:50pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to open a can with a potato peeler. For a minute I forgot what a can opener looked like. FML

by maryfaithh / 01/27/2012 at 11:30am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML

by lions214 / 01/10/2012 at 8:40pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation