Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2984) - you totally deserved it (36040)
On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - misc - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I had to change clothes for a dance class. After the class I went to change back into my regular clothes I noticed my pants were missing. I had to walk across the building in my underpants so that my vice-principal could announce to the whole school that I have lost my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13135) - you totally deserved it (2113)
On 11/13/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by pantsless (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I let my dad borrow my car. I found out a few hours later that he has had a suspended license for three years. How did I find out? He got pulled over and arrested. My car was also impounded. I'm a college student barely making it as it is. Guess who can't afford the impound fees? FML
I agree, your life sucks (17948) - you totally deserved it (1386)
On 11/11/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by brokeasajoke (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I overheard my best friend's wife telling their kids to pay attention in school and stay focused on their goals so they don't end up a failure in life like their father's friend, Matt. Hi, my name is Matt and I'm the friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15508) - you totally deserved it (2657)
On 11/06/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I got an e-mail from a girl, asking if my boyfriend was indeed my boyfriend. I sent back a gushing message about how much I loved him and how well he treated me. She replied "Yeah, I know. He was supposed to be my boyfriend, too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20270) - you totally deserved it (1745)
On 11/02/2009 at 12:08am - love - by OhJoy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I received the newspaper from my hometown. My ex-husband's wedding announcement and picture were on the front page. His new wife has the same first name as me. All my Facebook friends from high school commented on how much weight I've lost and how good I look in my wedding photo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24650) - you totally deserved it (1552)
On 10/27/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by WasFeelingGood (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be romantic and get into the hot tub. I was slowly getting into the water when I suddenly slipped. I faceplanted and nearly drowned in three feet of water. My nose bled and we had to get out. Our romantic night was spent doctoring my injuries. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14782) - you totally deserved it (2874)
On 10/23/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by Intoxicunt (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I applied for college graduation. Turns out my advisor screwed me over and now I'm 1 credit hour short of getting my degree. Now I have to wait another semester and pay $3,500 just to take a one hour class on Bowling so that I can graduate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23942) - you totally deserved it (3618)
On 10/02/2009 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I parked my truck next to a rather large SUV at school, went to class for 8 hours straight, came back and found my passenger side door crumpled from where they had backed out and hit it. They left a note on my window that said, "Sorry about your truck, but I don't have insurance." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26812) - you totally deserved it (1037)
On 09/21/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, while my 18 pound cat was on the edge of the tub watching me shower, he fell in. Apparently, in his mind, the best way to get away from the water is to climb my bare legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23999) - you totally deserved it (3215)
On 09/17/2009 at 7:14am - misc - by HHIChica (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26100) - you totally deserved it (5081)
On 09/12/2009 at 2:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)
Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29646) - you totally deserved it (4430)
On 09/08/2009 at 3:02pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31358) - you totally deserved it (1996)
On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)
