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FMLs submitted from Tennessee

Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML

#21432396
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25279) - you deserved it (2451)

On 06/26/2015 at 4:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, we had customer complaints of a child molester hanging around our restaurant. After confrontation by a manager, he wouldn't leave. I had to be walked to my car after my shift by more than one person because I look 12 and they were afraid for me. I'm almost 19. FML

#21430929
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24705) - you deserved it (1802)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:23pm - work - by ilook12 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my fiancé threatened to break up with me if our dog couldn't be the best man at our wedding. FML

#21399911
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30551) - you deserved it (5952)

On 04/26/2015 at 9:35am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "God" told her to. I guess "God" didn't have any problems with me buying dinner first. FML

#21399506
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29583) - you deserved it (2588)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:55pm - love - by wil - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my nurse girlfriend told me she's more attracted to the veins in my arm than any other part of me. FML

#21397356
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28035) - you deserved it (3222)

On 04/21/2015 at 9:48am - love - by veiny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while walking my dog, I opened my mouth to yawn. A wasp took the opportunity to fly into my mouth and announce its presence by stinging my tongue. FML

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38636) - you deserved it (2087)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. The first thing he did was hand me a paper containing listed rules he expects me to follow. When I asked if it was a joke, he promptly pointed to number 7 on the list, "Cleanliness is not a joke". FML

Today, I was told that I need to learn to "let things go" by a woman who held a four-month grudge over a ham sandwich. FML

#21370791
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27014) - you deserved it (2144)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:36pm - misc - by NoHamForMeThanks - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

#21364983
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34456) - you deserved it (4992)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:03am - intimacy - by FreshDonuts (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to the mall with some friends. We all kept smelling this god awful B.O. smell and had no idea where it was coming from. On the car ride home, we all figured out it was actually me. FML

#21347237
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24871) - you deserved it (10031)

On 01/31/2015 at 10:13am - kids - by cooploops - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML

#21331516
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29754) - you deserved it (2588)

On 01/05/2015 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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