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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Tel Aviv

Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML

#17140315 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (20559) - you deserved it (2228)

On 07/16/2011 at 8:17pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML

#17012885 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (25518) - you deserved it (3546)

On 07/07/2011 at 10:40am - love - by Junktown (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my coworker returned the camera I lent her. After plugging the camera into my PC, I saw a file was still on it. Wanting to make sure I didn't delete something important, I opened it. To my horror, it was a video of my coworker pleasuring herself. She's old enough to be my mother. FML

#15207126 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (17675) - you deserved it (3680)

On 03/05/2011 at 2:57pm - intimacy - by Traumatized (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I was told by my neighbors that my guitar playing sounded a dying cat. FML

#13754576 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (6106) - you deserved it (12661)

On 11/07/2010 at 5:07pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, the girl who I was in love with for almost seven years listed me on facebook as her "Brother." FML

#13281816 (230)

I agree, your life sucks (23836) - you deserved it (4034)

On 10/01/2010 at 10:11pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my mom told me that she doesn't want me to help any of my friends get a job at the restaurant I work at. Apparently, she thinks that they would do a better job than me and get me fired. FML

#9181946 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (15784) - you deserved it (2690)

On 03/18/2010 at 7:15am - work - by son (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, after months of searching I finally got a job interview. Too bad I didn't have enough money to buy a bus ticket to get there. FML

#8612009 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (17810) - you deserved it (2613)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I finally removed my car insurance after realizing it costs too much money. Since I then had more money, I went to celebrate with ice cream. On the way, I got hit by a truck. FML

#7845593 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (7020) - you deserved it (33755)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:44pm - money - by jk2010 (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I wanted to remove my mustache hair with hot wax. The hair is still there, but my skin is all burnt dark brown. Tomorrow is my first day at school. FML

#7378045 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (15261) - you deserved it (7707)

On 01/16/2010 at 1:16pm - misc - by queenofdeath - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I woke up late. My grandparents had slept over the night before but they usually left early. I heard someone in the kitchen and thinking it was my brother, I said "Thank god, the geriatric crew is FINALLY gone." My grandma responds, "No we're not." FML

#3307741 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (4146) - you deserved it (48103)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML

#2906688 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (37123) - you deserved it (2083)

On 06/15/2009 at 6:07am - animals - by Tom (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I found out that my extremely-flat chested cousin recently got a boob job. When my mom found out, she said "Oh that's great! They look so good!". Then she looks at me and tells me that I should get one. Everyone including my own mother thinks I should get a boob job. FML

#2795641 (239)

I agree, your life sucks (41472) - you deserved it (3614)

On 06/11/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by strawberrykiwi62 (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I tried to prove to my dad that he snores by secretly putting a tape recorder under his bed. I soon found out my parents had sex that night. Apparently, my mom likes to talk dirty. FML

#272262 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (28420) - you deserved it (74091)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:57pm - intimacy - by Zack (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)