FMLs submitted from T'ai-pei

Today, I had sex with a guy I really had a connection with. It went perfect until I complimented how his moans during sex turn me on a lot, and he responded with, "That's what my mom told me." I laughed so hard we couldn't go on. FML

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, I'm so broke that I had to call in sick to work because I couldn't afford to pay my bus fare. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2014 at 11:38am / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Money

Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2013 at 9:23am / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Transportation

Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML

by joyness / 12/20/2012 at 9:49am / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Transportation

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2010 at 9:35am / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Kids

Today, I got out our electric fan because it was very hot. A cockroach crawled up behind the frame on the fan and fell into the gap of the frame. It got itself killed by the rotating fan, and had its blended flesh sent flying all over my white polo shirt. FML

by roachblend / 09/12/2010 at 4:00am / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Animals

Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokémon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML

by juli / 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Love

Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML

by safetyfirst / 07/14/2010 at 11:17am / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Intimacy

Today, I showed up at work and a coworker pointed a gun at me. After twisting his arm and leveling his face into the wall, I found out it was a lighter. Now I might lose my job over his stupid joke. FML

Today, my cousins and I were bored so we began talking about weird dreams we've had. My little cousin turns to me and says "I had a dream you were in a beauty contest. You lost badly". FML

by anonymous / 08/03/2009 at 3:37am / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Kids

Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML

by fallsdownplenty45 / 06/02/2009 at 7:08am / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Kids

Today, I went to a club and my friends and I went up on the stage, then the security told me to get down and said the stage was only for girls. I'm 23. I'm a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 5:14am / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Miscellaneous