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FMLs submitted from Surrey

Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML

#18577154
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30499) - you deserved it (3162)

On 12/22/2011 at 3:09am - love - by Jean - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML

#17838831
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36874) - you deserved it (6951)

On 09/26/2011 at 11:35am - intimacy - by Oops (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, at a fancy dress party, I got off with Hitler. FML

#17277146
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19791) - you deserved it (36023)

On 07/27/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by SallyGeen (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I discovered my mother went into the local pub where I work part time, got very drunk, and flashed her boobs at everyone. I found out when a picture was posted on Facebook. FML

#16527434
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33447) - you deserved it (2797)

On 06/06/2011 at 9:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML

#16466098
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30552) - you deserved it (2670)

On 06/02/2011 at 10:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I managed to stab myself with a knife while trying to open something without a can opener. After getting stitches and returning back home, I went to make a cup of coffee. I found the can opener in the cutlery drawer. FML

#15576285
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15794) - you deserved it (24704)

On 03/31/2011 at 3:18pm - misc - by nicky (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my friends were acting strange around me. This afternoon, I got a text asking me to meet them out for a couple of drinks. Because of all the strange acting, I decided to tell them I'd go and then not go. I just found out they had been planning me a surprise party. FML

#14627617
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7537) - you deserved it (45560)

On 01/18/2011 at 3:53pm - misc - by slondons (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I had to explain to my friend why it's inappropriate to conduct a phone conversation while simultaneously eating a bagel, listening to music, and taking a shit. FML

#14521055
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21779) - you deserved it (3451)

On 01/09/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, after months of dieting, I finally reached my goal weight. Excitedly I told my boyfriend, who gave me a beautiful dress as an early Christmas present. It was a size too small. FML

#14179989
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26567) - you deserved it (4656)

On 12/12/2010 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my boyfriend got mugged. I found out because the mugger had the courtesy to ring me, after I texted several times asking where he was, to say "He won't reply. He got robbed." FML

#13634930
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29440) - you deserved it (2718)

On 10/29/2010 at 2:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28789) - you deserved it (6501)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML

#7571238
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25686) - you deserved it (6040)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:46pm - health - by Thorin (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my family and I are driving down to France and it's going to take 4 hours. If that wasn't bad enough, my mum decides that she is going to listen to the CD my sister bought her for Christmas on repeat for the whole journey. It's Lady Gaga. FML

#6953630
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33538) - you deserved it (8533)

On 12/26/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by OhGodKillMeNow (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)



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