FMLs submitted from Stockholms Lan

Today, I overheard my friends laughing about how my anxiety means I'll be single forever. I was too anxious to confront them. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2016 at 1:45pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He decided to lock me in the apartment until I say that we are in fact still together. This is the 4th time he has done this. FML

by stuck / 06/12/2016 at 1:59am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love

Today, I worked from home to actually be able to concentrate and make a presentation about my project. My boss then sends me a long email about how he wants us to work in the office, and how important it is for team building, giving me feelings of guilt for actually getting some work done. FML

by PhD student / 02/10/2016 at 6:57am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Work

Today, the guy I made out with on New Year's Eve finally called me. Too bad it was to blame me for the picture of us which someone had sent to his girlfriend. I never took a picture, and had no idea he was in a relationship. FML

by CharlieKearney / 01/10/2016 at 6:33pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love

Today, I got the most action I've had in months when a stranger fondled my thigh on the subway. It was a blind man, searching for empty seats. FML

by SadAndAlone / 12/03/2015 at 11:41am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Transportation

Today, while walking to my flat, I spotted something white hanging over the handle bar of my parked bike. It was a very used diaper. FML

by Anonymous / 11/06/2015 at 6:22pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Transportation

Today, I complained about being bored to death on Facebook. Someone took it as a suicide threat and called the police. They showed up at my apartment and my workplace. FML

by Nucleus / 10/08/2015 at 9:48am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Health

Today, my internet was so slow I couldn't even load an internet speed test to see how slow my internet was. FML

by bbcgj / 07/04/2015 at 5:30am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

by lucas90 / 02/04/2015 at 4:42pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized why you should never wear a thong under yoga pants that are a couple of sizes too small. It's a weird thing, seeing your co-worker's anus. FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2015 at 6:24pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

by je suis christy / 01/09/2015 at 2:04pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love

Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML

by ohwell / 11/24/2014 at 8:44am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love

Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 6:14pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love