Today, my roommate brought a kitten to the apartment. I hate cats, and probably sensing this, the thing clawed me right in the crotch. I of course am not going to say a thing because I happen to be in love with my roommate, but she has no clue how much I hate this thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5818) - you totally deserved it (10889)
On 02/24/2010 at 7:29pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, I took my first day off in 3 weeks just so I can sleep in. The office secretary woke me up at 7.12 am with a page wishing me a nice day off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15005) - you totally deserved it (1900)
On 12/19/2009 at 2:39am - work - by Hareega (man) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, I told my boyfriend of 2 years that I was pregnant. His response? "That's neat. But we can still have sex, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10084) - you totally deserved it (2165)
On 09/13/2009 at 3:04am - intimacy - by sunlightchild_14 (woman) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34895) - you totally deserved it (2307)
On 08/31/2009 at 9:12pm - love - by SaMike (man) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, I was driving to work and I had to pee really badly. I am a teacher and my school was another 20 miles so I stopped on the side of the road. About halfway through, a bus full of laughing kids went by. They were all my students. My pants were down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8746) - you totally deserved it (25508)
On 08/21/2009 at 6:15pm - kids - by mrteacher (man) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, I was fired from my volunteer job. Why? Because they said I was working so hard and doing such a good job that I was making the real staff look bad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43321) - you totally deserved it (2047)
On 07/05/2009 at 3:04pm - work - by WorkingGirl (woman) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29497) - you totally deserved it (4726)
On 07/02/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer I ended up in bed with one of them who kindly put my bra back on for me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7363) - you totally deserved it (52009)
On 05/12/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Permafucked (woman) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, while working at Wendy's my boss approached me and told me the District Manager wanted to talk to me. I had been given a substantial raise the day before so I thought he was going to promote me to manager. Wrong, he told me I was being fired for eating a 99 cent cheeseburger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33151) - you totally deserved it (8738)
On 04/28/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (South Dakota)
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