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FMLs submitted from South Carolina

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

#12768681
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41598) - you deserved it (4512)

On 08/27/2010 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML

#11246854
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32071) - you deserved it (2438)

On 06/16/2010 at 7:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML

#11070143
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47251) - you deserved it (6352)

On 06/09/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by dancerr2210 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

#10667407
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46682) - you deserved it (13765)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML

#8889427
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18867) - you deserved it (35736)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by choldcreations - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I am expected to write an 8 page essay, due tonight. The reason why I don't even have one page yet? My mom decided to take away the only computer I have the essay saved on because I have an 'F' in English. The essay is for English. FML

#8693763
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27730) - you deserved it (6938)

On 02/27/2010 at 4:28pm - health - by atmac95 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my dad screamed at me because I've been "spending too much money". He's been out of a job for 4 months and I've been giving him 300 dollars a month to help pay for bills... and his beer. FML

#8551677
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30572) - you deserved it (3028)

On 02/22/2010 at 11:38am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

#8466183
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8090) - you deserved it (37083)

On 02/20/2010 at 1:09am - health - by fatflabbyfail - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML

#8250207
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21853) - you deserved it (3132)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:52pm - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, at my school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 for Haiti. They are doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money. FML

#7603599
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38346) - you deserved it (3908)

On 01/27/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by evil - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was fired from my job. The reason? My boss didn't feel comfortable paying his son's girlfriend. FML

#7449785
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27130) - you deserved it (3204)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:09am - love - by mysterygurll1234567 (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I looked at my father's facebook for the first time in a month to see his status and it said "making wedding plans!" Really? When was he planning on telling his own daughter. FML

#7226655
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27194) - you deserved it (2647)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:08pm - love - by bitchface (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I woke up on the coldest morning of the year to discover that the gas fireplace has run out of propane, and there is no water because the pipes are frozen. While trying to locate the frozen pipe, I forgot to let the dog out, and she peed on the carpet. FML

#7124325
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23790) - you deserved it (4800)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:04am - animals - by BW (man) - United States (South Carolina)



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