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FMLs submitted from South Carolina

Today, I finished the first month of a diet and exercise program designed to help me lose weight. To keep myself motivated, I have avoided the scale the entire time. I weighed myself today. I've gained 6 pounds. FML

#17744289
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26226) - you deserved it (5273)

On 09/14/2011 at 2:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by. The attackers used water guns. FML

#17724131
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20987) - you deserved it (5722)

On 09/11/2011 at 10:50pm - misc - by COCKYmanUSC - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML

#17649868
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10257) - you deserved it (47063)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by only1bigdogme - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

#17298828
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29683) - you deserved it (5734)

On 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (South Carolina)

Today, at work, our team started a new sales strategy of selling flowers to men by asking them to buy one for their lovely ladies. The first guy I ask ends up crying and telling me his wife passed away a week ago. The woman with him was actually his sister. FML

#17144161
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30668) - you deserved it (4553)

On 07/17/2011 at 1:16am - work - by Auston (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML

#17029959
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30000) - you deserved it (2275)

On 07/08/2011 at 3:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML

#16966151
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40672) - you deserved it (3259)

On 07/03/2011 at 10:02pm - health - by wastedbaby - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I got all dressed up to go on a date with a guy. Upon getting to my house to pick me up, he told me he'd forgot to put on mascara, and asked if he could borrow some. FML

#16809094
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35958) - you deserved it (5416)

On 06/23/2011 at 12:24am - love - by wowohwow - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I spent an hour setting up a delicate display stand at work. Not five minutes later, a woman barged in with her little kid, who immediately went up to the display and tipped the whole thing over. When I called attention to the mother, she just scoffed, "Isn't this your job?" and left. FML

#16299041
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32973) - you deserved it (2849)

On 05/22/2011 at 3:50pm - work - by NoRespect (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

#15846054
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46251) - you deserved it (5688)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

#15828645
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39091) - you deserved it (7538)

On 04/17/2011 at 11:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out that my mom and dad got a divorce. They didn't tell me, they just changed their relationship status on Facebook. FML

#15635122
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42967) - you deserved it (3153)

On 04/04/2011 at 12:23pm - love - by carolinagirl (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

#14898622
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32652) - you deserved it (3096)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)



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