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FMLs submitted from South Carolina

Today, after reading about seduction techniques, I wore shades and a brightly colored shirt to a club to attract female attention. However, the sunglasses rendered me almost blind, and I tripped over a step, crashed into tables, and thanks to the shirt, everyone saw it happen in glorious technicolor. FML

#17891002
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8614) - you deserved it (40193)

On 10/02/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by hardtoignore - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after a month of living in a pigsty of an apartment with my roommates, I spent the day cleaning the place out. When everyone returned home, instead of thanking me, all they could do was point out the spots I'd missed. FML

#17871769
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27130) - you deserved it (3163)

On 09/30/2011 at 3:45pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while at work in the service department of a car dealership, I sat in the driver seat of an old man's car to get the mileage. He'd just pissed in the seat. FML

#17855277
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26512) - you deserved it (2276)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:30pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's totally convinced I'm gay. When I tried explaining that I can't be if I'm attracted to her, she took it as me thinking she's mannish. FML

#17826284
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31917) - you deserved it (3338)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Leenotgay (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I finished the first month of a diet and exercise program designed to help me lose weight. To keep myself motivated, I have avoided the scale the entire time. I weighed myself today. I've gained 6 pounds. FML

#17744289
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27861) - you deserved it (5466)

On 09/14/2011 at 2:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by. The attackers used water guns. FML

#17724131
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21923) - you deserved it (5863)

On 09/11/2011 at 10:50pm - misc - by COCKYmanUSC - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML

#17649868
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11140) - you deserved it (49038)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by only1bigdogme - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

#17298828
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31581) - you deserved it (5957)

On 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (South Carolina)

Today, at work, our team started a new sales strategy of selling flowers to men by asking them to buy one for their lovely ladies. The first guy I ask ends up crying and telling me his wife passed away a week ago. The woman with him was actually his sister. FML

#17144161
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30978) - you deserved it (4575)

On 07/17/2011 at 1:16am - work - by Auston (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML

#17029959
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30220) - you deserved it (2401)

On 07/08/2011 at 3:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML

#16966151
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42811) - you deserved it (3457)

On 07/03/2011 at 10:02pm - health - by wastedbaby - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I got all dressed up to go on a date with a guy. Upon getting to my house to pick me up, he told me he'd forgot to put on mascara, and asked if he could borrow some. FML

#16809094
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37198) - you deserved it (5575)

On 06/23/2011 at 12:24am - love - by wowohwow - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I spent an hour setting up a delicate display stand at work. Not five minutes later, a woman barged in with her little kid, who immediately went up to the display and tipped the whole thing over. When I called attention to the mother, she just scoffed, "Isn't this your job?" and left. FML

#16299041
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33851) - you deserved it (2909)

On 05/22/2011 at 3:50pm - work - by NoRespect (woman) - United States (South Carolina)



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