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FMLs submitted from South Carolina

Today, I didn't even bother to turn my cellphone off in a movie theater because I knew no one would text me or call. FML

#19661266
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23826) - you deserved it (4145)

On 05/22/2012 at 7:02am - misc - by Rick - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

#19607447
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12346) - you deserved it (20332)

On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

#19401263
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14161) - you deserved it (23527)

On 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm - kids - by potatoebee - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was at a restaurant, and I saw my friend. When we made eye contact, I made a creepy face at her and twitched my arms to make her laugh. A woman looked over said sadly, "Oh my God, that poor girl!" She thought I was "special." FML

#19314232
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9942) - you deserved it (22687)

On 03/20/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by thatswhatsup66 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML

#19085877
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28268) - you deserved it (2354)

On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I spent two hours filling out an online application and questionnaire for a potential employer. The application stated that there were no right or wrong answers and to answer truthfully. I was automatically rejected. FML

#18853580
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22211) - you deserved it (4751)

On 01/19/2012 at 2:45pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house. FML

#18760852
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41640) - you deserved it (2235)

On 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by liLbob6598 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my business is doing so badly that people are teaching their kids to drive in the empty parking lot. FML

#18565836
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29896) - you deserved it (2526)

On 12/20/2011 at 10:18pm - work - by Thomas - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I've gained weight. He replied, "Why do you think I've been so often on top lately?" FML

#18472242
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32314) - you deserved it (8242)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after reading about seduction techniques, I wore shades and a brightly colored shirt to a club to attract female attention. However, the sunglasses rendered me almost blind, and I tripped over a step, crashed into tables, and thanks to the shirt, everyone saw it happen in glorious technicolor. FML

#17891002
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8556) - you deserved it (39966)

On 10/02/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by hardtoignore - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after a month of living in a pigsty of an apartment with my roommates, I spent the day cleaning the place out. When everyone returned home, instead of thanking me, all they could do was point out the spots I'd missed. FML

#17871769
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26562) - you deserved it (3111)

On 09/30/2011 at 3:45pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while at work in the service department of a car dealership, I sat in the driver seat of an old man's car to get the mileage. He'd just pissed in the seat. FML

#17855277
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26316) - you deserved it (2260)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:30pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's totally convinced I'm gay. When I tried explaining that I can't be if I'm attracted to her, she took it as me thinking she's mannish. FML

#17826284
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30376) - you deserved it (3182)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Leenotgay (man) - United States (South Carolina)



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