Today, I didn't even bother to turn my cellphone off in a movie theater because I knew no one would text me or call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18134) - you deserved it (2910)
On 05/22/2012 at 7:02am - misc - by Rick - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9004) - you deserved it (12980)
On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10932) - you deserved it (18872)
On 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm - kids - by potatoebee - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was at a restaurant, and I saw my friend. When we made eye contact, I made a creepy face at her and twitched my arms to make her laugh. A woman looked over said sadly, "Oh my God, that poor girl!" She thought I was "special." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7968) - you deserved it (18935)
On 03/20/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by thatswhatsup66 - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23271) - you deserved it (1738)
On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I spent two hours filling out an online application and questionnaire for a potential employer. The application stated that there were no right or wrong answers and to answer truthfully. I was automatically rejected. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17177) - you deserved it (3493)
On 01/19/2012 at 2:45pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36346) - you deserved it (1910)
On 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by liLbob6598 - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my business is doing so badly that people are teaching their kids to drive in the empty parking lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24073) - you deserved it (1795)
On 12/20/2011 at 10:18pm - work - by Thomas - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I've gained weight. He replied, "Why do you think I've been so often on top lately?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25120) - you deserved it (6021)
On 12/09/2011 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)
Today, after reading about seduction techniques, I wore shades and a brightly colored shirt to a club to attract female attention. However, the sunglasses rendered me almost blind, and I tripped over a step, crashed into tables, and thanks to the shirt, everyone saw it happen in glorious technicolor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6707) - you deserved it (28464)
On 10/02/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by hardtoignore - United States (South Carolina)
Today, after a month of living in a pigsty of an apartment with my roommates, I spent the day cleaning the place out. When everyone returned home, instead of thanking me, all they could do was point out the spots I'd missed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20630) - you deserved it (2217)
On 09/30/2011 at 3:45pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, while at work in the service department of a car dealership, I sat in the driver seat of an old man's car to get the mileage. He'd just pissed in the seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21769) - you deserved it (1624)
On 09/28/2011 at 12:30pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's totally convinced I'm gay. When I tried explaining that I can't be if I'm attracted to her, she took it as me thinking she's mannish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23740) - you deserved it (2278)
On 09/25/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Leenotgay (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Monday 17 June 2013
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