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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from South Carolina

Today, I spent two hours filling out an online application and questionnaire for a potential employer. The application stated that there were no right or wrong answers and to answer truthfully. I was automatically rejected. FML

#18853580 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (15826) - you deserved it (3242)

On 01/19/2012 at 2:45pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house. FML

#18760852 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (31322) - you deserved it (1351)

On 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by liLbob6598 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my business is doing so badly that people are teaching their kids to drive in the empty parking lot. FML

#18565836 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (9257) - you deserved it (761)

On 12/20/2011 at 10:18pm - work - by Thomas - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I've gained weight. He replied, "Why do you think I've been so often on top lately?" FML

#18472242 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (21414) - you deserved it (5175)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after reading about seduction techniques, I wore shades and a brightly colored shirt to a club to attract female attention. However, the sunglasses rendered me almost blind, and I tripped over a step, crashed into tables, and thanks to the shirt, everyone saw it happen in glorious technicolor. FML

#17891002 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (6017) - you deserved it (25389)

On 10/02/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by hardtoignore - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after a month of living in a pigsty of an apartment with my roommates, I spent the day cleaning the place out. When everyone returned home, instead of thanking me, all they could do was point out the spots I'd missed. FML

#17871769 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (8246) - you deserved it (787)

On 09/30/2011 at 3:45pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while at work in the service department of a car dealership, I sat in the driver seat of an old man's car to get the mileage. He'd just pissed in the seat. FML

#17855277 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (8634) - you deserved it (694)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:30pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's totally convinced I'm gay. When I tried explaining that I can't be if I'm attracted to her, she took it as me thinking she's mannish. FML

#17826284 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (22084) - you deserved it (2077)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Leenotgay (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I finished the first month of a diet and exercise program designed to help me lose weight. To keep myself motivated, I have avoided the scale the entire time. I weighed myself today. I've gained 6 pounds. FML

#17744289 (230)

I agree, your life sucks (8227) - you deserved it (1663)

On 09/14/2011 at 2:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by. The attackers used water guns. FML

#17724131 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (14471) - you deserved it (3903)

On 09/11/2011 at 10:50pm - misc - by COCKYmanUSC - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML

#17649868 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (7493) - you deserved it (31362)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by only1bigdogme - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

#17298828 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (22610) - you deserved it (4130)

On 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (South Carolina)

Today, at work, our team started a new sales strategy of selling flowers to men by asking them to buy one for their lovely ladies. The first guy I ask ends up crying and telling me his wife passed away a week ago. The woman with him was actually his sister. FML

#17144161 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (23106) - you deserved it (3187)

On 07/17/2011 at 1:16am - work - by Auston (woman) - United States (South Carolina)