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FMLs submitted from South Australia

Today, I was babysitting my younger brother while my parents were away. I turned my back on my brother for one minute and then I heard a huge crash from their room. He had somehow destroyed a family heirloom and 200 year old clock. FML

#6397427
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24824) - you deserved it (6929)

On 11/21/2009 at 11:05pm - kids - by Rhianna (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML

#6065212
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17951) - you deserved it (2084)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:17am - intimacy - by frustrated (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

#5925433
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37111) - you deserved it (6063)

On 10/21/2009 at 4:27am - misc - by sore (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, some thug tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves and told a cop that I did it. FML

#5911952
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52782) - you deserved it (2380)

On 10/20/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by BobbyHutchinson (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I woke up at 3am after 2 hours sleep to get to my 7.40am interview with the Air Force. I went through a full medical check, a psych test and an interview with military personnel, was there for 7 hours with no food and only water to drink, only to be told I wasn't suited to the position I applied for. FML

Today, after spending the night at my boyfriend's house, I was heading out the door when he called me back to hand me something I had left at his house a while ago. It was one of my bras. It wasn't until I got home I noticed the cup size was a B. I'm a size D. FML

#5793805
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36045) - you deserved it (3123)

On 10/12/2009 at 10:03am - love - by Jennagirl (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my husband blew all the candles on his birthday cake while I was taking a photo in front of him. I will probably never use cocoa powder to decorate a birthday cake anymore. FML

#5424868
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8610) - you deserved it (34545)

On 09/23/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML

#5016488
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37913) - you deserved it (5187)

On 09/03/2009 at 6:19am - kids - by Annoymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for god knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowningly drove it. FML

#4774663
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13387) - you deserved it (42570)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by snakeboy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

#3821769
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38307) - you deserved it (8927)

On 07/17/2009 at 1:36am - intimacy - by Cyberella (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my bank card was skimmed (copied electronically) and my account was totally cleaned out. I had only just got paid and don't get paid again for 4 weeks. The bank says it will take 21 days minimum to resolve. They offered me a credit card with a huge interest rate to help me get by. FML

#2549491
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48890) - you deserved it (2251)

On 06/02/2009 at 9:33pm - money - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

#1384927
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9990) - you deserved it (49616)

On 04/27/2009 at 5:14am - misc - by maddie94 (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML

#699285
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84933) - you deserved it (4335)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:16am - work - by matte (man) - Australia (South Australia)



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