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FMLs submitted from South Australia

Today, my seven-year-old sister came to stay at my house for the night. She usually just sleepwalks. But tonight she sleep-peed in my clean clothes basket. FML

#7966871
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24237) - you deserved it (2174)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:31am - misc - by wallbanger - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I decided to tell my husband our marriage was over after I found out that he'd not only been stealing from me, but he'd also been downloading child porn. He then asked if we could break up but live in the same house so I could help pay his bills. FML

#7353297
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42241) - you deserved it (3113)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:51am - love - by cuppincake (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

#7139059
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27697) - you deserved it (6856)

On 01/04/2010 at 1:43am - health - by sadface (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was at the cinema. There was a really tall woman in front of me and whenever I leaned to the right or left she would lean to the same side I do. Later, she started laughing. They guy next to her was telling her where I moved. FML

#6806801
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29871) - you deserved it (2851)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:42am - misc - by Mogg (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was babysitting my younger brother while my parents were away. I turned my back on my brother for one minute and then I heard a huge crash from their room. He had somehow destroyed a family heirloom and 200 year old clock. FML

#6397427
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25078) - you deserved it (6963)

On 11/21/2009 at 11:05pm - kids - by Rhianna (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML

#6065212
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20212) - you deserved it (2294)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:17am - intimacy - by frustrated (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

#5925433
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38499) - you deserved it (6209)

On 10/21/2009 at 4:27am - misc - by sore (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, some thug tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves and told a cop that I did it. FML

#5911952
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53812) - you deserved it (2453)

On 10/20/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by BobbyHutchinson (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I woke up at 3am after 2 hours sleep to get to my 7.40am interview with the Air Force. I went through a full medical check, a psych test and an interview with military personnel, was there for 7 hours with no food and only water to drink, only to be told I wasn't suited to the position I applied for. FML

Today, after spending the night at my boyfriend's house, I was heading out the door when he called me back to hand me something I had left at his house a while ago. It was one of my bras. It wasn't until I got home I noticed the cup size was a B. I'm a size D. FML

#5793805
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36365) - you deserved it (3149)

On 10/12/2009 at 10:03am - love - by Jennagirl (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my husband blew all the candles on his birthday cake while I was taking a photo in front of him. I will probably never use cocoa powder to decorate a birthday cake anymore. FML

#5424868
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9038) - you deserved it (35589)

On 09/23/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML

#5016488
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39678) - you deserved it (5385)

On 09/03/2009 at 6:19am - kids - by Annoymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for god knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowningly drove it. FML

#4774663
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13521) - you deserved it (42834)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by snakeboy (man) - Australia (South Australia)



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