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FMLs submitted from South Australia

Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML

#17207646
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27593) - you deserved it (14264)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML

#16796718
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8936) - you deserved it (30777)

On 06/22/2011 at 9:31am - misc - by youknowwhatitis - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was on my way home on my bike when a lady in a 4WD cut me off while beeping her horn and calling me a "stupid f**ker who should get a proper education." In her car, she was smoking, and her three children weren't wearing seat belts. FML

#15661688
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35840) - you deserved it (3150)

On 04/06/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by faza4327 (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was patting my kitten who was asleep underneath the blanket on my lap. My roommate walked in and gave me disgusted look. She thought I was playing with myself. FML

#13624722
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22120) - you deserved it (5792)

On 10/28/2010 at 8:00am - intimacy - by djoe - Australia (South Australia)

Today, it's my birthday, and the only person that called me was my boss. He wants me to cover his shift tonight. FML

#13448275
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31054) - you deserved it (2633)

On 10/14/2010 at 6:10pm - work - by unloved - Australia (South Australia)

Today, while tearfully telling my closest friends that I had miscarried my first pregnancy, the first thing out of their mouths was, 'So, does this mean you're going to start drinking with us again?' FML

#13071693
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37776) - you deserved it (3942)

On 09/16/2010 at 6:59am - kids - by mommymo (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML

#12898898
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15890) - you deserved it (30004)

On 09/04/2010 at 7:02am - intimacy - by Lewis - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I had a weird dream I woke up on the bathroom floor at my local gym. Turns out it wasn't a dream, and I passed out from "overworking myself". I was on the treadmill for under 5 minutes, walking. FML

#10834271
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24751) - you deserved it (13279)

On 05/29/2010 at 1:28am - misc - by crashingdown - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was having an in depth discussion with my girlfriends father about how corrupt journalists are and how our town's paper is the worst paper on the planet. After insulting basically everything about the newspaper, I asked him what he did for a living. He's the editor of the newspaper. FML

#9130183
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11909) - you deserved it (41479)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:00pm - misc - by annonoymus - Australia (South Australia)

Today, after years of thinking I was weird for never being attracted to anyone, I realized that for the first time in my life I actually have a crush on someone. That 'someone' is my English teacher. He is 60. I am 18. FML

#9127097
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27764) - you deserved it (11849)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:27am - misc - by allwrong (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my seven-year-old sister came to stay at my house for the night. She usually just sleepwalks. But tonight she sleep-peed in my clean clothes basket. FML

#7966871
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22209) - you deserved it (1989)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:31am - misc - by wallbanger - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I decided to tell my husband our marriage was over after I found out that he'd not only been stealing from me, but he'd also been downloading child porn. He then asked if we could break up but live in the same house so I could help pay his bills. FML

#7353297
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40391) - you deserved it (2981)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:51am - love - by cuppincake (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

#7139059
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26962) - you deserved it (6756)

On 01/04/2010 at 1:43am - health - by sadface (woman) - Australia (South Australia)



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