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FMLs submitted from South Australia

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

#20188363
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24481) - you deserved it (3929)

On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I went out of my way to avoid street preachers thrusting hateful propaganda at me. A young woman ran up to me and started waving paper in my face, and I snapped at her to fuck off. Right afterwards I realised she was returning something that fell out of my pocket. She looked terrified. FML

#20133994
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7150) - you deserved it (29553)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML

#20107056
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25637) - you deserved it (5271)

On 10/08/2012 at 5:12am - love - by embarrassed (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML

#20042763
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6692) - you deserved it (24022)

On 08/26/2012 at 2:27pm - animals - by g'day cunt (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML

#20007202
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9397) - you deserved it (29495)

On 08/07/2012 at 3:48am - misc - by Embarrassed - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I shaved my legs. I received endless compliments about how great they looked, and how jealous all the girls were. I'm a guy who shaved them for a themed party, for which I dressed up as a girl. FML

Today, I saw my mom changing the expiry date on milk. She genuinely thought this would make the milk sour later. FML

#19759587
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24361) - you deserved it (1823)

On 06/09/2012 at 9:54am - health - by WTF (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, it was the only time in my life that I have ever received an A+ for something. Thank you, eBay buyer. FML

#19442358
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11142) - you deserved it (16825)

On 04/10/2012 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML

#19305380
7 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18286) - you deserved it (12721)

On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML

#19226146
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32187) - you deserved it (2811)

On 03/06/2012 at 6:50am - health - by FootyFoot (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my cat vomited violently. I can smell it but I can't find it. FML

#18520750
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29197) - you deserved it (2991)

On 12/15/2011 at 4:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my husband declined a $100k/year job due to him thinking that a full time job at one work place would be too 'depressing'. I'm a nurse and have to wipe other people's arses for a living, then come home to this lazy dick. FML

#17416952
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43038) - you deserved it (7911)

On 08/09/2011 at 9:48am - work - by Lauren - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my new mailbox key finally arrived. Not at the front door as I requested, but in the mailbox. FML

#17211287
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33752) - you deserved it (2459)

On 07/22/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by MailMaster (woman) - Australia (South Australia)



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